Hey guys, Well im new to this. I just felt i needed help. For a month now ive been feeling really down. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel pain and i cnt take this anymore. There is so much in my head. I need to sort things out. Idk how to go about this. What i should do. I feel people are hurting me all around. My parents are divorced and recently ive really been regretting that. I feel so out of place from all of my friends. I feel secluded and excluded. I feel like everyone is out to get me sometimes. I feel everything and everyone i get close to i lose, i dont know what to do anymore. I dont wanna lose any more of my friends. Because i dont wanna lose any of my friends, Ive been real "clingy" (as told by someone i got into a fight with). I feel really down, i feel like im worthless, recently i have been having suicidal thoughts but i know i wont go through with any of it, cus i am scared of death. But im scared of becoming the same thing ive feared. "EMO". I do not wanna go down that path and i just wanna be the happy person i was a year ago. I miss my friends, i am atarting college and i dont wanna become helpless. I am naturally a strong person. I just need advice in what to do.

uknowsme52 uknowsme52
18-21, M
5 Responses Sep 13, 2009

STAY STRONG. <3<br />
Because awesome things will happen down the road, and when you get there,<br />
you'll think, 'Well wasn't I silly for wanting to end it, because I'd miss all this beautiful-ness."<br />
That's what I think sometimes.<br />
<br />
Be confident. Take a break from your friends. Smile and tell then that you'll be back, and meet some fantastic people who'll know everything you feel for a while. Because if they were true-blue friends, they'd understand.

iv been there once before and it the second time ive had depression. im hate to say it Emo, and it hard. i can see that you are scared and i was but if i was you , i would never start because when you start its hard to stop

just to tell you I am going through the same thing you are.... my parents are divorced now for 8 or 9 years. i feel like i dont belong and have been this way for 2 years... im always down... i lose most of my friends. i cant be myself or i feel like im going to become not me... My life has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs... I cant stand my life and the road im heading down...... nobody gets me....

Hey, I have had some similar experiences to you - reading your story, I often thought 'this sounds so much like me!' I don't know how you'd feel about doing this, but it might help you to seek help - depression is a terrible thing to suffer from, and a psychiatrist could really help (sorry, overusing the word help) you, I found that I've started to gradually feel a little better since I started being given antidepressants - I don't know if I'm allowed to be kinda 'promoting' them on here, but yeah, I do think you could benefit from counselling - not saying you're mad, of course - but definitely depressed. It's a shame, and you shouldn't have to suffer like this - also, I know I don't know you personally, but I really hope you do stay away from suicide - I've made attempts in the past, it's unbelievable how scary it feels, and your family and friends would miss you, of course...I keep acting 'clingy' towards friends too atm, I don't like feeling alone - if you have any friends that you feel you could explain how you feel to, it might help them understand why you seem 'clingy' to them - people aren't generally very well informed on depression, which can sometimes make you feel even worse...if you want to speak more, you can message me...btw, sorry if my message seems total nonsense, I've never been too good at writing thoughts down!

hey, <br />
I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time of it, but don't fret, I know this is easier said then done! you said you were feeling pain and that there is so much in your head, I know how you feel, without knowing whats going on with you problem wise, i can't offer any advice, all i can say is take one problem at a time, sit down with a pen and paper and list them all, then you will be clear on what there is to sort out, then pick a problem, start with why it is a problem, then move onto is there anything i can do to fix it, start making small changes, little bits at a time, and work through them, i know sometimes you are so suffocated by everthing you can't see anyway out, but there always is, trust me, i have been through enough to know that, it all takes time. start looking forward to things, you are a strong individual that has the ability to go and do whatever you want, that is the beauty of being human beings, other people can influence us and make it a rough ride for us but YOU, ultimately control it, don't let it beat you and win, you are starting college soon, yipee, look at this as a fresh start and something to look forward to, you are strong, you CAN fix this, don't fall into the same trap i did. i hope this helps even a tiny bit, Take care xx