The last time..? Maybe?

So it's been a while since my last post (December) and I was thinking about coming out. Well, things took a hold of itself in it's own way and so much has changed for me. Around Christmas time, I decided to was some clothes since I was on break. My mom was on break too, considering she's a teacher. I was playing games, and failed to hear the machine go off, so my mom went to put my clothes in the dryer. A few minutes later, she came into my room holding up a pair of panties. My panties. I thought I was given away.

Now at the time, I had just started hanging out with this girl. My mom thought they were hers. Now I had a choice. Say they are hers and get away with it or tell the truth.

I told the truth. I really liked this girl and couldn't let her take a blame like that. My mom sat me down and had a talk with me, and it was brought up at my therapist a little later on. (Therapist is for anxiety) It has since never been mentioned and only my mom knows. I have now since been dating this girl, and haven't worn women's clothes since. Sometimes I get the urge, go on my tumblr and **** sites, and it goes away, but I haven't dressed in months.

Now, I am headed off to college on the other side of the state. The safe I keep all my clothes in would be perfect, but I don't want to bring my clothes along in fear of getting caught. A few weeks ago, I made a choice. I got a garbage bag, filled it up with my wig, panties, and other clothing, and drove into town, and threw it in a dumpster, and left it for good. I think this is the end of Ellie.

Has anyone ever went through this and if so, what has happened next?

elliecarr elliecarr
18-21, T
1 Response Aug 21, 2014

I've been through that. But it always comes back. You can fight it for a little while but she'll be back. I know because every time is tried to say goodbye to Kimmandra she always came back getting stronger every time. So now I've just accepted that she's the other half of my being. Plus my current gf knows about and loves my crossdressing. :)