Scared

Not sure about going out dressed but Id let you dress all the time if you were here with me.

i know your feelings ... would like to be close to you and help you my babe

I would try telling your Mom (Mom's always seem to know these things anyways), she will be the easiest to tell and the most understanding. Do you have any close friends you would feel comfortable telling, any siblings a sister , mine found me out. A sister would be quite understanding and would probably help without judgement, and would also help you with make-up and dressing. You can keep this trapped inside but you will suffer in agony of not being yourself.

its tough

i know

ive been there

as for make up ther are loads of vids on u tube that will help

The hardest part of coming out is not coming out.

Sweetie, please calm down and relax. We understand you alot. Do what Melodie13 said in her comment. Coming out can be hard, but once you do, your life will become so much richer and better. I came out to my aunt about my dressing and we still love each other and still see each other. We here on EP will offer you guidance and the best tips we can so you can live your life your way. Just remember, we will be here for you. Don't worry so much about this.

Contrary to your beliefs you mom could be your greatest ally. Most moms know even though we try to hide it. You need to talk to your mom in private (your room or hers). Tell her HONESTLY how you feel. Tell her you want to be able to dress like a girl. Mention you want to wear dresses and skirts at least at home. You want to wear girls pants that look similar to what boys wear, the tops as well. There is a number of girls pants and shorts that do look like boys wear,your could even wear these to school and most won't even notice. As far as undies no one sees them anyway so you wearing panties under your pants would be okay for school as well. Remember this, Mothers love their children no matter what they do, they are not an OGRE (shrek) or some monster waiting to devour you. Ask for girl time at home and promise not to embarrass her by going out dressed unless she is with you of course.
As far as friends, if they are true friends they will accept you for who you are. Try talking first to those who you can trust.

relax a little bit and you can get through this. if you think about the worst scenario imaginable about what people would think in your head you might panic and fail. and its ok if you do your first time. but just try to relax and hint around about it in inconspicous ways near your family. i just came out to my family 4 weeks ago and i set it up by wearing my cloths a little tighter and nicer maybe even a tight necklace. things that you can wear that look off but makes people start to think on there own. then let your parents find something like gay or trans ****...or some how they found your make up in your pants. they might ask or they might be afraid of the answer and not ask but they will mak there own assumptions. and finally when they find enough hints, like one of your friends is gay, you can come out and they wont be as surprised. this takes some time but if done right it can be a smooth transition. be mithotical if u think your parents will go nuts. and lean them into it