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Kissed A Girl When I Was Just 12 Years Old, And Still Confused About Who I Am.

Hey everybody! Thank you for clicking this story, because I really want somebody to talk to.
So, here's my experience.

When I was 13 years old, I had a really close friend, we were like best friends and all that stuff.
Since I was really young, like 12 years old, I knew about gay people, sexuallity, sex, etc.
Sooo I wanted to know what would it feel to kiss someone. But I came up with the idea ... what would it feel to kiss MY FRIEND.
So one day, my group of friends (3 people) and me, were just talking during recess ... and the topic of gay/lesbian people came out and what would it feel to kiss someone of your same gender. (I WAS LIKE: YEAH YEAH, LET'S TRY IT LOL)

So we agreed to try it someday. And one day my teacher of cooking class needed to go out for 10 minutes. So, we went to the back of the room and hide under the table lol
The thing is that I kissed my best friend, but just a little kiss.
A few weeks after that, I proposed my friends to try it again, but this time "slow and sexy". (I can't believe I said that.)  Everyone agreed with me, because the girls that were in my group were like this: A & S , C & Me . (Like I don't know, like couples?)
I always tought that A & S were lesbians, and of course the didn't denied to try the kiss, so that made me even more suspicious.

ANYWAY, we kissed (I still remember how it felt...), and of course I felt something strong.
I don't know why, but since then, I think I fell in love with her.
But since that time many things have happened, things that made change my mind about her, so I don't like her anymore.

But, NOW I look all my girl-friends in a different way.
I always have dreams with girls, I really care about them (You know in what sense).
Recently I had strong feelings about a girl, and she just tell me she thinks she is bisexual (JACKPOT). But no, she likes other girl pffft.
What can I do? I'm just 15 now, and SUPER CONFUSED.

I have read about other people's experiences, I have read articles about the subject, books, but I'm still not sure.
Do not get me wrong, I know it sounds simple, but it's NOT.
You know I felt too many things about guys too, but I've never ventured that much in the feeling as I'm doing with girls.

Oh yeah, and my family don't like gay people, my mom is a good mother, she is so kind and lovely. But when we talk about gay people, she feels total disgust, but I don't judge her, of course, she was tougth like that in her generation lol
I love my family, but they are not the right people I should talk about this issue.

So, can you please help me? For the first time in my life I talk/write about this.
Just leave a comment, I will sure appreciate it!
I need advice. I really do...
Thank you, and have a good day! ♥
Rominaishere Rominaishere 13-15 2 Responses Jan 10, 2012

Your Response

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hey you can talk to me. just tell them how you feel about the issue and go from there write if you wanna talk i was just like you to. :)

Thank you so much :)
I'll do it, wait for it, thank you again!

:) You Welcome

Hi my friend, <br />
I applaud you that you are reaching out.....BUT please know that on a public forum you are opening yourself up to an open can of worms, so please be careful.<br />
<br />
My name is Pete and I do an online gospel ministry. I would be thrilled to talk with you if you would like. I won't condemn you...I understand that we all have tendencies that take us off of God's design for us, but if you would like to discuss this maybe I can atleast give you God's perspective to put in your pocket, okay? Thank you very much and I hope to hear from you :)

Don't worry I'm using a fake name, fake email, everything fake except my experience.
Thank you read it btw, and thank you too.