So Many Of These Stories Seem To Be People's Eureka Lesbian Moments...

... so I might as well post mine too ;P

Looking back at my childhood, I suppose it should have been fairly obvious to me that I was gay. My childhood friends were all exclusively female, and I adored one of them especially. She was my closest friend and we would pretend to be sailor scouts, and save other people from harm (It was *fabulous* in case you were wondering ;D). When were in second grade we both exchanged our first kisses with each other. Behind the fan I was using as a prop, while the other children weren't looking on the playground, or in my room when she was sleeping over, she graced me with delicate kisses. When my family moved in the fourth grade, I lost contact with her and have wished to meet with her again, ever since.

After the move I forgot all about the intensive moments we shared. I suppose that isn't surprising, especially considering my family's background with very conservative, religious parents. Homosexuality wasn't an option. I was suppose to like guys. Love was between a man and a woman. Only it wasn't.

In the 8th grade (my family moved *again*) I began to go through puberty, which included changing the majority of my social views and values. I met a gay person for the first time. She told me that she was bi and, to my shame, I reacted semi negatively. I step away from her, and asked her "Oh. You don't.... like... me? Do you?" I would learn later that statements like this hurt. Especially when it's a friends who says it.

Later in the year I began to consider that I might be bi, especially when my BFF had me kiss a guy, but I didn't like it. But, I liked kissing her later that night. I also liked touching her, and having her touch me. Confused (like most of you are, or have been) I began kissing almost any guy that I could. I. Hated. Every. Moment. Every time I'd ask them, desperately, "Did you like it? Was it good? What especially did you like?". One guy fondled me, and I just closed my eyes and wished for it to end.

I spent the summer break at my older sister's house and with the combined help of her and her husband, I was able to gain self confidence and clear my head. The start of my Freshman year in high school I finally realized that I was gay (EUREKA MOMENT(-ish)).

Since then I've meet some other lesbians and even became intimate with them (although it's sad that my 8 year old self was better at picking up ladies than my 17 year old self >.<). However, I'm still waiting 6 more months before I come out to my parents (please don't try to convince me that my parents will accept me and love me. They won't. You don't know them. They physically abused me as a child. They are not the type of people to "accept" others when their oh so important religion condemns it.) and sometimes I can't stand being in this blasted closet, especially when I crave physical intimacy so much.

There, and now all you silly goobers know my story ^_^
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1 Response May 6, 2012

Too bad they can't accept. Everyone is different and we are all entitled to a little happiness.