The Beginning Of Things...

I always wonder how such a big change can be possible and where did it even begin? I don't think I always knew all along that I was a lesbian because I did have a long term boyfriend for a while, but something must have spurred it. And it all started with dreams. Or, so I think. I remember I met this one girl when I was around 15 and thought nothing of her for the time I knew her in my youth. But slowly and surly I started dreaming about her, and dreaming about girls, and not just platonically. Really twisted dreams that I'm impressed my mind can even think up these kinds of things...

I can be really persistant, and once I get an idea into my head, I drive myself to achieve it. So, my goal was her and I wanted to get it. And I did. And then feelings started to develop in place of harmless fun. And thats when it started to SUCK. Because I knew she was straight even if she did like to do things with me. Her heart would always be straight. Good God.

So now I'm left in the dust trying to hastily overcome a crush that I don't want to overcome. I just want it to all work out plesantly. But life doesn't work that way and with my luck, pft, it won't get close.

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Jun 24, 2012