Confused, Very Confused..

Ever since I went through puberty, I knew I was different. I always found myself looking at other girls, but playing sports with guys. I shook it off thinking it was just some weird thing I was going through, but it seemed like the older I got, the more attracted to females I became. I found men kind of "okay" to look at but if I had to choose between a hot guy and a hot girl, I'd choose the girl. I could not see myself doing things with a guy sexually, and that helped me understand also. And then on senior prom, I knew for sure I was a lesbian. I danced once, and it was with one of the most beautiful girls in school, it ended up being a slow dance and at the end we kissed...and i loved the way it felt. I've had a long term girlfriend since then, but we broke up in may =. It's hard to want to be who I am, when I have a family who doesn't support that lifestyle though. The only people who know are my younger sister and my older female cousin. Im scared to tell anyone else because I dont want them to change how they act toward me, but i cant keep having one foot out the closet door because it makes my life a living hell. Im so confused on what to do. Should I tell my mother and grandmother, knowing it may break their hearts? Or do I continue to live miserably because I have to keep my life a lie? And yes, I know what you may be thinking, "well I mean you dress the way you dress and have short hair, so why wouldn't they know you are a lesbian?" Where we live, it's actually okay for straight and lesbian women to dress as i do and have their hair cut to a short length.
LadySpartan05 LadySpartan05
18-21, F
Sep 23, 2012