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Another (extremelly Long And) Slightly Depressing Love Story.

This past year, I started a new school. Like any kind of change, it was terrifying. I had a boyfriend at the time that was already going to my new school. I honestly didn't really like him but I also didn't really know anyone; so I stayed close to him. I noticed that in everyone of my classes, there was a girl named X'ena. She was quiet, we didn't really talk much until we were forced to through a school project. We had many common interests and we quickly became friends. We got closer and we started talking about more personal things. She told me secrets. She told me about her bad experiences and all of the disorders she received from them, and I confessed to her my biggest secret; my sexuality and she then confessed to me that she was pansexual. After that, sweet little words and feeling flew between us. One day, I found a little piece of paper in my backpack. It was a bitter sweet love note. We passed notes back and forth for a long time. My feelings for her started increasing and soon I broke up with my boyfriend. One week later we were together. Things were complicated and hard, but also beautiful. X'ena loved to make me jealous. She did it weekly, but she always made up for it with kisses and smiles. So, when she told me that she met a guy named Patrick at a convention she met, I didn't think much of it. Time progressed but her interest in him did too. One day, my friend confronted me about cheating. Apparently, she had made a Facebook post about her being his "wifey." I confronted her about, but she only claimed it was all fun and games. I had an awful feeling about him and her but I trusted her and our relationship continued but it wasn't the same. My love became sick. She became depressed, her insomnia was acting up, and she started constantly having panic attacks. She would have mood swings. One moment, she would be screaming at me for no reason and then the next she would be crying over nothing. These weeks were hell, but I couldn't leave her, she was mine and she was sick. One night on our three month anniversary I spent the night at her house. I was getting a little frisky like normal, but this time she quickly stopped me. She then confessed to me that she was Asexual. She explained to me that she hates all physical affection. I asked her about our past times making love and she also confessed that she hated those too. I cried. I refused to leave her though. Our relationship continued with only hugging and little bitter sweet kisses. X'ena had another one of her mood swings. She wouldn't talk to me for a week. When she finally did I sat her down and said "Sweetheart we really need to sort **** out." We listed the things that needed to change. Everything I listed she said she could not give to me. She then confessed that she had feelings for another man. I knew it was Patrick. I then cried and begged her to break up with me. She said she couldn't do it. So I forced myself to give us the kiss of death. I went home, I felt numb. I didn't do anything, I just layed in bed. I went on Facebook the next day to find 2 dozen posts and pictures of her and her "new" boyfriend. I noticed that her status stated that their anniversary was one month earlier, 2 days before she confessed to me that she was Asexual. I confronted her about it and she came clean to me. She bluntly stated that she had cheated on me several times with him. "Why didn't you just break up with me?" I asked. Her response, "I felt sorry for you." She then informed me that she had been trying to get me to dump her. That she purposely was awful to me and that she was never Asexual. She just wanted me to break up with her. I felt stupid and destroyed, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of her seeing me in pain. I could tell that she was expecting me to break down in front of her, but instead I told her "Good night and good bye my sweet love, rest in peace." and walked away.

Thank you for reading.
Sorry for how long this story was.
MissMoofia MissMoofia 16-17, F 6 Responses Jan 13, 2013

Your Response


That really sucks. Though I'm sure you know that already.
I just wanted to say that there is someone out there for everyone even if it's completely unexpected, maybe she just wasn't it.

Your story wasn't that long~
Don't feel guilty or regretful. It won't change anything. Sometimes there are things you can't do anything about and I think this is one of them from what I heard. (I don't want to over step my boundries)
There is nothing wrong with you. I wish you luck.
I'm not writing this out of pity or concern, it just seemed like something I had to do. Ya get me?

i feel for you.

Wow this was so moving.. it was so great that you stayed strong and didn't break down, because they was what she wanted. It's also great you didn't get angry at her and stoop to her pathetic level. I know that you loved her, but she wasn't worthy of it at all. Maybe the psychopathic behavior had something to do with her disorders? It is was I suppose I can understand why she could have used you like that. I can tell through messages that you are a great and beautiful person and you will find the right person don't worry! xxx

That is so sad for you but also lesson we all have to learn about how selfish some people are. You did right thing not get down to her level. You try support her, she not even have courage to break with you, had to try manipulate you to do it.
She just not worthy of your good love! And her bad love no good for you! xxx


things will get better some day u will find the right person