Finally Accepting Who I AmAfter years of struggling with who I am, I am finally starting to accept me. This time a year ago, I was suicidal. I despised myself for liking girls and beat myself up about it (literally). On top of that I was already being bullied and excluded at the all girls Catholic school I attend (without any of them knowing I'm gay). I was utterly destroyed when I accidentally came out to my parents after hearing their harsh words on LGBT and tried to run away in freezing weather without a car. My brother found me and we had a heart to heart before returning home. My parents apologized the next day and we did not discuss the matter anymore.
After months of counseling and medicine, I was happy again, but I allowed myself to go on pretending I was straight. I even had a boyfriend for a few months, but it was all a lie and I knew it and I started to have nightmares again that left me in tears. I came to a moment one of those nights when I finally realized there is nothing wrong with me and liking girls is just apart of who I am. I recently came out again to my mom who is more accepting this time (although she still doesn't believe me and insists everything will change if I sleep with a man.) I'm still too scared to confront my dad about it again, but will when I am ready. I've also told my basketball coach who is a lesbian and hope on telling my open minded best friend soon.
Although I have come a long way, I still face many hard times especially since I live in such a Catholic/conservative area and I would appreciate if I could talk to other teens like me.
-"I'm not invincible, I'm not indestructible, I'm only human. Can't you see the beauty in me." Monster you made
Risingagainst11 16-17, F 4 Responses 2 Jan 27, 2013