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Finally Accepting Who I Am

After years of struggling with who I am, I am finally starting to accept me. This time a year ago, I was suicidal. I despised myself for liking girls and beat myself up about it (literally). On top of that I was already being bullied and excluded at the all girls Catholic school I attend (without any of them knowing I'm gay). I was utterly destroyed when I accidentally came out to my parents after hearing their harsh words on LGBT and tried to run away in freezing weather without a car. My brother found me and we had a heart to heart before returning home. My parents apologized the next day and we did not discuss the matter anymore.
After months of counseling and medicine, I was happy again, but I allowed myself to go on pretending I was straight. I even had a boyfriend for a few months, but it was all a lie and I knew it and I started to have nightmares again that left me in tears. I came to a moment one of those nights when I finally realized there is nothing wrong with me and liking girls is just apart of who I am. I recently came out again to my mom who is more accepting this time (although she still doesn't believe me and insists everything will change if I sleep with a man.) I'm still too scared to confront my dad about it again, but will when I am ready. I've also told my basketball coach who is a lesbian and hope on telling my open minded best friend soon.
Although I have come a long way, I still face many hard times especially since I live in such a Catholic/conservative area and I would appreciate if I could talk to other teens like me.
-"I'm not invincible, I'm not indestructible, I'm only human. Can't you see the beauty in me." Monster you made
Risingagainst11 Risingagainst11 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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Be strong n be yourself :) x

im so glad you are starting to accept yourself for who you are :) being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact we should be proud! feel free to message me if you want to talk xx

That's good you've accepted yourself, now you can start learning about how others can accept you too. Good luck, I know you'll find other teenage lesbians to chat with and share your experience. :)