Realizing Who I Really Was.It was the beginning of eighth grade. I had already formed my group of friends in the year before but there was always room for more.
A girl whom I had always seen around in school but never really spoken to before had become friends with one of my closest friends. So naturally, her and I were going to become friends also. We casually spoke when we all hung out as a group but as time progressed, we both realized we had soo much in common and started speaking more often.
Now mind you this is when MySpace and AIM were popular means of online communication.
Anyways, we spoke online all the time and texted eachother as well. We had so much in common that we considered eachother to be like sisters. We did everything together.
When we started hanging out, just the two of us it was so much fun. We did what any normal 13 year old girls would do.
One of those days that we were hanging out, we just sat outside on my patio and she started poking my sides. She had a thing for poking people on the side of their stomach as to make them flinch. I have no idea what came over my in that moment, but I had the strongest urge to just hold her hand. I refrained myself from doing it but it was almost an unbearable urge.
I noticed myself always getting nervous when I was around her, especially when it was just us two alone. I knew something was up.
I came to the quick realization that I had a crush on her but was scared out of my mind to speak of it. This was my first major crush, and with a girl! It was nerve wrecking and confusing. I just needed to tell her so one day after school I told her I needed to speak with her. We spoke of it through the Internet seeing as how it was easier than face to face.
And so I told her. I said "I think I am bisexual.. And I have a crush on someone". She was eager to know who and before I knew it, she asked if it was her that I had a crush on.
I admitted I did, and to my surprise she felt the same way towards me.
We ended up dating for several months. The relationship ended for good reasons and needed to be done but I will never forget the first girlfriend I ever had.
Five years later (now 18 years old) and here I am, more confident than ever about my sexuality. Except now I know for sure that my interest is only in women.
An EP User 1 Response 1 Feb 2, 2013