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Hello My Name Is Elizabeth

Hi, I'm Elizabeth. I would define myself as bisexual, but I'm trying to figure out if I am just bisexual or completely lesbian. I am a freshman in high school.

For a long time, I thought I was straight because my first crush was a guy. So far, I have dated three guys. The last relationship ended badly because he treated me like ****.

I did however, have a crush on a girl at the same time. I have had this crush for about 3 months now, and I know its not a little crush. I am madly in love with her, and its nothing that I have ever felt before. There's more to it. Her name is...for privacy reasons, we'll use the fake name Grace. As I fell in love with her, I realized that I liked girls. To this day, I know I will always like girls.

Grace is definitely something special. I haven't wanted someone as badly as her. She is my first major crush that I know I won't get over for a loooong time. Luckily, I'm pretty sure she's bisexual. I also know for a fact that she wonders if she is gay. I made the mistake of asking her over text if she was bisexual. At first she said yes, and my heart skipped a beat. I was just about to send her the message "oh cool me too" as she replied "no sorry that was (my friends name)! She took my phone!" Turns out 2 of my friends where at Grace's house.

I was very close to accidentally coming out.

Though I think the 2 friends suspect that I am bi, considering that there is this game we play where you kind of like evaluate whether you would marry, screw, or kill the person. (Yes I know, a mean game :/) Your sexual orientation determines what gender you do. (Straight girls=guys, etc) Each time it got to my turn, they would say "Depending on your sexual orientation do you want guys or girls, or both?" as if they didn't believe I was straight. They would only ask ME this question, not each other. I really did want to tell them that I was bisexual, but I wasn't ready.

(Sorry for the long story :P)

So far I have come out to 3 people. The first one was a guy friend, but he's now afraid of me :/ The second one was to a girl in my class who I very much suspected was a lesbian, and turned out she is. She is very close with Grace and gives me all the scoops on whether Grace has decided she is bisexual or not yet! :) The third person was another guy friend. I trusted him, and it went well. He treats me the same as he always did.

I don't know what to do. I am so madly in love with Grace, and its so hard to wait for her to decide her sexual orientation! Its even worse because when I asked her if she was bisexual it ruined our friendship :(

If anyone wants to talk to me just let me know :D
hydraate hydraate 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 18, 2013

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If you're friends with Grace, even if not too close, you could say to her it'd be okay if she was bisexual and you could tell her that you're someone she could trust. Let it clear for her that she can trust you, but give her time to decide whether or not she can trust you. Let us know how it works out :)