Hello My Name Is ElizabethHi, I'm Elizabeth. I would define myself as bisexual, but I'm trying to figure out if I am just bisexual or completely lesbian. I am a freshman in high school.
For a long time, I thought I was straight because my first crush was a guy. So far, I have dated three guys. The last relationship ended badly because he treated me like ****.
I did however, have a crush on a girl at the same time. I have had this crush for about 3 months now, and I know its not a little crush. I am madly in love with her, and its nothing that I have ever felt before. There's more to it. Her name is...for privacy reasons, we'll use the fake name Grace. As I fell in love with her, I realized that I liked girls. To this day, I know I will always like girls.
Grace is definitely something special. I haven't wanted someone as badly as her. She is my first major crush that I know I won't get over for a loooong time. Luckily, I'm pretty sure she's bisexual. I also know for a fact that she wonders if she is gay. I made the mistake of asking her over text if she was bisexual. At first she said yes, and my heart skipped a beat. I was just about to send her the message "oh cool me too" as she replied "no sorry that was (my friends name)! She took my phone!" Turns out 2 of my friends where at Grace's house.
I was very close to accidentally coming out.
Though I think the 2 friends suspect that I am bi, considering that there is this game we play where you kind of like evaluate whether you would marry, screw, or kill the person. (Yes I know, a mean game :/) Your sexual orientation determines what gender you do. (Straight girls=guys, etc) Each time it got to my turn, they would say "Depending on your sexual orientation do you want guys or girls, or both?" as if they didn't believe I was straight. They would only ask ME this question, not each other. I really did want to tell them that I was bisexual, but I wasn't ready.
(Sorry for the long story :P)
So far I have come out to 3 people. The first one was a guy friend, but he's now afraid of me :/ The second one was to a girl in my class who I very much suspected was a lesbian, and turned out she is. She is very close with Grace and gives me all the scoops on whether Grace has decided she is bisexual or not yet! :) The third person was another guy friend. I trusted him, and it went well. He treats me the same as he always did.
I don't know what to do. I am so madly in love with Grace, and its so hard to wait for her to decide her sexual orientation! Its even worse because when I asked her if she was bisexual it ruined our friendship :(
If anyone wants to talk to me just let me know :D
hydraate 13-15, F 1 Response 1 Feb 18, 2013