My Story...My depression started in March 2010 and is still sticking with me today unfortunately. I didn't realized that I was depressed until about July 2010 though. It started out with me just being sad most of the time and not wanting to hang out with my friends as much as I used to and simple stuff like that. Then once the summer came I began to babysit my 6 year old niece "K". She is not a nice girl I'll say that right now, she tells me she hates me, doesn't listen to me, spits at me, hits me, and just completely disrespects me in every way possible. I hate to say this but its the truth, she not only ruined my summer but caused me to slip into an even deeper depression.
It continually got worse and worse until now, its January 2011 and I am at my all time low. I never want to hang out with my friends, I only do because I don't want them to suspect anything, and I just want to lay down and sleep all the time and do nothing.
I've cut myself, I've thought of suicide, and considered running away when summer came around again. I have never felt this way before and I have no idea how to cope with it and heal. I listen to my music everyday, its like my little getaway I suppose, but when I shut it off its like I'm thrown back into reality and I get a wake up call, only I don't wake up, I keep drifting and can't seem to find my way back. I know I need help, I know I need therapy, but I don't want it, I don't want to be treated differently, I just want to be me again...
lemach94 16-17, F 1 Response 1 Jan 4, 2011