Asperger's- My Story

I'm 15 years old now and I am a sophomore in high school. I am a swimmer, honor student, I love drawing and painting, playing the piano, reading, and taking care of babies and animals. I do have friends and stuff but I feel like it is really hard to keep them. I usually end up saying or doing the wrong thing, but I never really know what I did wrong.
Ever since I was very young, I thought that I was different from other kids. I have always felt stupid when I am around other people even though I know I am very smart. When I was in preschool, after I got my vaccines, I started having a lot of problems. I started acting very OCD, I began hand flapping all of the time, I would repeat words over and over again after I said them, I had some sensory issues (mostly just touch and taste) and I was very anxious and scared about everything and had a lot of separation anxiety from my parents. My parents were worried about me and they took me to many different doctors. They had me tested for autism, and I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and OCD. Because I had a very strong connection with my parents and I did understand some humor, I guess I didn't show enough symptoms to be diagnosed with Asperger's.. I don't know. I'm not really sure. That's just what my mom said. I remember I was put on a lot of medicine, vitamins, supplements and stuff like that- but I don't know what they were for. I went to a place called The Special Children's Center where I did a lot of therapy to help with my sensory issues and probably other things too. I started a gluten free/dairy free diet when I was about 5 and I know that helped a lot. I also started going to a homeopathic where I started taking these remedies... which surprisingly helped a lot. Between the diet and the remedies, I was able to get rid of a lot of my symptoms.
My parents were planning on starting me in kindergarten at a public elementary school near our house, but at the kindergarten into night thing, when my parents tried to leave me in the classroom to with the other kids so they could go to the gym and listen to the principal talk, I went spastic. I started screaming and throwing things, so my dad had to stay in the room with me while my mom went into the gym. My parents did not think I could handle school, so they decided to home-school me. The separation anxiety disappeared around 3rd grade along with the thumb-sucking and the thing where I repeat words after I talk. I was home-schooled for 5 years and then I attended elementary school in 5th grade.
In 5th grade, i still had a lot of OCD tendencies and had a lot of trouble making friends. I don't know why, but every day I forced myself to get up at 6 am even though school didn't start until 9:30. I would get so mad at myself if I woke up any later than 6 am and it would completely ruin my entire day. I had three friends, but two of them didn't go to my school and the one that did was a neighborhood friend who was really popular and wouldn't talk to me at school.
In 6th grade, I started middle school. I had 1 friend at school who would talk to me. I sat at lunch with a group of acquaintances who I now actually think just put up with me to be nice. I was clumsy in gym and people always yelled at me. I desperately wanted to be popular and have lots of friends.
In 7th grade, I had about 2 friends at school. I was still extremely shy at times, but when I did talk I guess the stuff I said wasn't "appropriate for the situation." I remember there was a boy who hated me deeply. He teased me and yelled at me all of the time. He told me I stare too much and he asked me why I smile so much. I told him it was because I was happy. He got all of his friends to turn against me too. I actually didn't really care much, but it still sucked. I got pretty bad grades that year.
In 8th grade, I had a lot of friends but most of them were outcasts. I didn't really relate to any of them, but they were the only people who accepted me. I did horrible in school this year and I think most teachers were annoyed with my "lack of effort", but really I was trying as hard as I could. I think it might have been a distraction problem- I get distracted so easily. I was diagnosed with ADD but I didn't start taking adderall until 9th grade. That year I was depressed a lot because my parents constantly yelled at me because of my bad grades. I had bad mood swings which may have been bi-polar disorder.
In 9th grade, (last year) I got straight A's in school, which I think was mostly because of the adderall. I had people I talked to frequently and I did have friends, but I didn't hang out with them much because I was so busy. I mostly hated school and was depressed often this year, even though I did well. My bad mood swings continued.
This year, I have been doing good in school. For tri 1, I got 4 B's and 2 A's, but they are all honors and AP. I had a rough start because with my mood swings- crying and lonely one day and upbeat, happy, and hyper the next. My mom was considering taking me to a psychologist to get me diagnosed with bipolar, but she decided against it because she doesn't want me to get on that medication. I recently started with a gluten free/dairy free diet again and it has been helping with the mood swings. I am also taking some dietary supplements which help with that. I still hand flap when I am alone. I learned when I was young that it is not okay to do that in public. I also still have some OCD tendencies, sensory issues, social problems and other stuff too.

I am only writing this because I just got done taking finals and have time to relax. I am kinda normal :P I'm not looking for attention, I mostly just wanted to write this down and maybe talk to some apies? I'm not diagnosed.. but I have been reading about it and I feel like I fit the diagnosis completely. I know no one will probably read this whole thing.. because it is wayy too long, soo ya I'm sorry :)
purplepandabearwithsparkles purplepandabearwithsparkles
13-15, F
3 Responses Dec 1, 2012

thanks so much! :) and it says I can't add you?

oh! and add me!

you know you are not alone......at-least not here at EP......we are not judge what or what not normal........being normal is overrated...........most 'normal people could be abnormal and vice versa........oh! and i read the entire thing!