Expectations Vs Reality For Me

I am nearly 18 years old and by the standards of families I am supposed to become a young adult by this time. Someone who is starting to take responsibility for their actions and will now start doing helpful things without needing an invitation. Along with making decisions that are not quite as self centered as teenagers.

This is not how I feel. As I walked around a track in my school I could not say I felt anything like an adult. I still consider myself a child in many ways. The way that I act, look, and my age. To me that all points to still being a child. I have the face of a fourteen year old and I have the height of one as well it seems. I have never really minded being short the only problem is that I feel that I am too small to be considered an adult. I admit to acting immature and having an immature sense of humor. That's just who I am. It is simple for me to go from nice to b*tch if I decide I don't like the person, and I think I am just as self centered as many younger teens.

This was when I looked to my friend and asked her if she felt like an adult yet. She is about a year younger than me but she knew what I meant. She didn't seem to need to think about it because her answer was quick "no."

When exactly are you supposed to feel like you are an adult? One woman told me that I am an adult because I know what I want, and that that is what made me an adult. I don't think so. She was referring to my boyfriend at the time I think. Thinking on this I really do not think that that makes me any more adult than some of the self centered 13-year-olds I have met.

I think now about what I expected to be like when I became an adult and that is not how I feel. I am nothing like what all the adults I see. Things are not what I thought. When will I ever act like an adult?
allIeverwas allIeverwas
18-21, F
Sep 11, 2012