Love This Website!

A recent question about favorite websites,  reminded me of an absolutely crazy one...Emails from an *******.
This dude answers Craig's List type ads,  and the results are outrageous.  Here is a little sample for your enjoyment...


Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Hello,

I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.

I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.

Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your ******* ***. One question, *******: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ***. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.

To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.

So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

You're ******* right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.

Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your *** and pull the trigger? Go **** yourself.
Lilt Lilt
46-50
30 Responses Jun 16, 2011

Soulrunher, I'm glad you had a laugh. Not everyone thinks this is funny.
And that's okay.

Omg! Crazy! LOL

Riling someone because you can?

I think this is an interesting topic, Pookie. <br />
What is funny? What is PC? <br />
These lines seem to get more and more blurred.<br />
It's the internet!!!! There are people who invest every moment looking for injustice. Whatever.<br />
<br />
We are all human and desperately flawed. <br />
We can do amazing stuff too.<br />
I don't think we are really all that complicated.<br />
<br />
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel loved.

I went to the website right after signing off here &amp; right before signing on to my bed. Burning eyes needed rest. I just caught my typo in my 1st reply,, (shoes instead of shows), I totally agree with what you say here and, no, we really aren't that complicated. Some people just make it harder that it needs to be when it comes to getting along. One of my husband's daughter's is a teacher, (4th grade), and this year their big thorn in the school is an African-American boy who is in 4th grade and so far has been kicked out of 3 schools. Every time he gets into trouble the 1st words out of his mouth are, "It's cause I'm black, isn't it?" She so wants to say, "No, it's because you're an a-h." which she would never say to a child, ever. And just where do you think that attitude comes from? Here's a hint - when his dad has to come to the school, the same, exact words come out of his mouth. Here's my beef with people who use that as an excuse to be s--t head is that prejudice &amp; racism is still alive &amp; doing well in this country and for people that are real of it are not given the protection and remedy they deserve. It's right up there with someone falsely claiming rape. It brings into question those who have been raped. It's just not right. We need to appreciate &amp; think kindly of our fellow man but it's at the point where many feel that if someone is friendly towards them then they must want something. My son once said that I was too nice, to which I told him that I just happened to be more tolerant of people than he is. I allow someone to 'step on me' once, maybe a couple more times, depending on the circumstances. (I call it giving them enough rope to hang themselves). And when I've had enough then it's bye-bye. I cut 'em off at the pass. He had to agree I was correct. OK, I'm getting off of my soap box, for now anyway. :D

Good soapbox pookie! I'm from South Africa originally and there are many with the same attitude there (it's because I'm black). Now I live in Australia and the Aboriginals are even worse, but at least there are less of them!

I guess there are the "Oh Poor Me" attitudes everywhere in the world. Personally I tend to think that is just a cop out &amp; an excuse not to try to do anything with your life. There are way too many people who have faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles to attain their goal. Even if it meant swallowing their pride, or worse. And when they reached those goals &amp; made something of themselves. Some aren't able to achieve the goal they set for whatever reason, but you can bet, they made something of themselves. People like that I so admire. As someone once said, "When you stop trying, you're done." and another gem is, "Can't never did do nothing."

Funny! And I will go to those web sites shortly. You are correct that these aren't any worse than the two shoes you mentioned. I would say that 'Punked' is probably a good equal. We've lost our sense of humor these days for fear of offending someone or some group. I remember when a joke was just a joke and no disrespect was meant to anyone. These guys are just fooling around but unfortunately there are people just like that in the world and everything offends them. I say, carry on jokesters, carry on but use good judgement.

I so agree with you. All of this political correctness is just BS!

Just another day on the internet.

Seemed like a normal guy to me.......

I actually had some people get upset with me for endorsing this "meanness."<br />
Sorry folks, I think this is really, really clever and funny! <br />
How is this any different than "Candid Camera" or "Punked"<br />
<br />
Quit being so damned serious!

Haha Lilt, this is hilarious. Another good and very funny website that's been made into a book is called the Darwin awards. You might find it amusing.

Ah yes, I'm a big Darwin Award's fan. Luckily I don't know anyone dumb enough to win one, (I don't think so anyway).

I thought it was funny! But that's because I wasn't part of either party. I wouldn't have the guts to talk like that, and it would shock me to be spoken (written) to like that. But it made quite the entertainment here! Much like watching people spar at the Wal-Mart parking lot! LOL

It's the internet people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who you calling 'internet people'? &gt;:-(

Oh yeah Annie. He's got a website and book of his master trolling.

Yeah, did the guy know the messages were public? If he did, he's one very funny individual! If not, he's just a jerk.

Good answer!<br />
<br />
<br />
Original ad:<br />
WANTED - Microwave<br />
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY<br />
From Me to *********@************.org:<br />
<br />
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerely hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />
Jamal<br />
<br />
From Amy ****** to Me:<br />
<br />
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.<br />
<br />
Amy<br />
<br />
From Me to Amy ******:<br />
<br />
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.<br />
<br />
Sincerely offended,<br />
Jamal<br />
<br />
From Amy ****** to Me:<br />
<br />
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.<br />
<br />
Amy<br />
<br />
From Me to Amy ******:<br />
<br />
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?<br />
<br />
From Amy ****** to Me:<br />
<br />
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!<br />
<br />
From Me to Amy ******:<br />
<br />
So you don't want the microwave?<br />
<br />
From Amy ****** to Me:<br />
<br />
Will you still sell it to me?<br />
<br />
From Me to Amy ******:<br />
<br />
I would never sell anything to a racist.<br />
<br />
From Amy ****** to Me:<br />
<br />
Ugh I'm done with you.

i think it's hilarious

Yes they did., Fallflower. I wouldn't buy it though. Isn't it all for free on the website??

They turned this into a book - I saw it on the sale pile at Barnes&Noble

Neither did Destry.

He truly is an A-hole. I'd block that dude. Good thing he only has his email. I'm sorry, I didn't think it was funny. :-(

Works for me, Sara!<br />
Who says puppets don't have a dark side?

Weeeeel.... how about being LOVABLY weird and sick!

But I was enjoying being weird and sick!

nah... you're our Lilt! One of my all time favorite peeps here on ep!

I guess I'm weird and sick.

Weird and sick in a GOOD way lilt! I think being in an SM hardens up our sense of humour somewhat.

Weird... funny, in a sick way, weird, and ... ummm... strangely addicting.

um...a funny one?<br />
;-/

My kids turned me on to it. Once I read the first one, I was hooked for the rest of the afternoon.<br />
"Racist Microwave Buyer" is another favorite post.

It's like a new cyber version of crank yankers.

This dude takes trolling to a whole new level.<br />
I'm impressed.

Nice.