I Am a Therianthrope
I've been aware of being a Wolf therianthrope for almost 4 years now. Some might call this an awakening, but more accurately I prefer the term "realization". It first began in an almost steryotypical way, following a pattern that most therians seem to experience: being told you're "weird" by friends (gotta love them), realistic dreams of being a wolf, a feeling of heightened senses, hollow feelings in your chest. The list goes on. In my case, I experienced all of the above mentioned occurences, with the added bonus of some very realistic memories that I simply couldn't explain having.
Surprisingly, I would not have believed in therianthropy if I had not actually come to the conclusion that I was a reincarnated wolf BEFORE I discovered therianthropes on the web.
A little history: Growing up, I didn'y have many friends. I've been told by them that I was a bit "odd", and although this may sound cliche it's very true. Now, whether or not this was related to my dog-like tendancies is up for debate, but it still stands that my friends were delenquents and I didn't enjoy their company either way. Sour grapes.
If behaving like a canine was the issue, it was because I did occasionally growl at people when I was angry, and it wasn't uncommon for me to trip of my own foot in an effort to catch a small moving animal (yes, I loved to chase small moving creatures). I did, and still do, chew on just about everything (oral fixation). It might interest you to know that I've personally ruined 30 earphones by munching through the wires. I shouldn't be taking pride in that, but not many people have a record for chews on headsets, lol.
I eventually lost or broke up with the majority of my local friends, and began to get acquainted with my father's friends. Nature became a huge part of my life around this time. I became more territorial than previously, claiming woodland patches and thickets as my own at the age of 10. Embarrassingly, I did urinate on my boundries and nearby trees, a case I'd later look back upon os an interesting factor leading up to this discovery. I never enforced these boundaries upon immediate family, but I did feel uneasy when someone entered them, often tried to coax them out gently. It felt as though my privacy was being invaded.
When I turned 14, I began to feel a lot of unexplained forces churning around me. I started experiencing strange phenomena, such as changes in sharpness or color in my visual perception. Since doctors couldn't seem to find anything wrong and I was in the mood to be mystical, I embarked upon a journey of self discovery. Ironically, I was one of the most dedicated Christians you'd find around. Not that this was a bad thing, it just seems a little odd when I think back about what I was doing.
. To make a long story short, I ended up experiencing many dreams about shapeshifting into a grey wolf. This was coupled by what could be described as "intense daydreams" (daylight visions). I developed an incredible familiarity for wolves themselves, which in itself was also a bit weird because my favorite animal had always been the Blue Whale. Eventually it reached the point where I would sit for hours a day reading or looking at pictures of the canis lupus. Eventually, I experienced a series of dreams in which I was told, almost quite literally, that I was a wolf in several past lives. I started feeling interesting mental changes in my psyche, coupled by random physialogical sensations (not puberty, mind you.)
About a month later, I came to the conclusion that I was a reincarnated wolf (yes, while I was a Christian). I wondered if I should write a book, or try to tell people about this strange and fantastic discovery..... and then, loe and behold, I discovered the Therian community 2 months later (upon recieving internet access for the first time in my life). I was surprised that other people had come to the same conclusion I had, and had even experienced the bulk of what I did. My suspicions were only reinforced from this moment on.
After that, things calmed down. I've had three "white outs" to date, two while riding in the passenger seat of a car and one while driving (I did almost crash). These flashbacks were those of my time as a wolf, and I remember a good amount of where and what I did up to a certain point. Although small, everything that happens or has happened to me is a small jewel added to my collection of experiences. In this case, it was simply life changing. It doesn't make me superman, no I can't shapeshift into a four-legged monster, and given the choice I wouldn't WANT to be a wolf. But understanding why I act the way I do, feel the way I feel, and more importantly why I think of myself and the world differently is enough to make me happy.
