Confused And Abused

I’m sixteen, and have just found out what “Therianthrope” is. I am not sure if this is exactly what I am, and if I am, I have yet to figure out my type. But all my experiences have lead me to the conclusion that I am Therian. Though I am very skeptical. I’m not sure exactly how to start, so I will tell you about my experiences in the best way I can.
I had many odd experiences as a young girl. I was very timid and liked to stay out of the way of people( I am still like this, though I am trying hard to cope with society). I loved meat ever since I was little, especially raw. I know that many people like raw meat as well, and so I just thought maybe this was one odd thing of a million about me. I ignored it. I have always been fond of wolves, and one day when we visited my mothers friend; they introduced me to their pet wolf; Shy. They told me she was timid, and would attack me if I tried to touch her, but I couldn’t help but get closer.
Shy was a female wolf, a beautiful cream-like color, with beautiful green eyes. And I couldn’t help but watch her watch me as she paced back and forth across the back yard. When lunch came, I snuck out with my plate, and edged close to her. She didn’t run like they said they would, she came to me. Startled, I dropped my plate, and leapt back. Shy stood there, smelling the food before looking up at me, walking over and nudging my hand with her muzzle. After that I could barely leave her side. She treated me like her pup, like I was apart of what she was. I felt so alive running around in the backyard with her, so uncaring about what the world thought about me that I would drop on all fours. Playing for hours on end until Shy; my wolf-mother thought it was time to stop.
I was heartbroken when we moved away to our new home. I stayed in my house all day, and the depression grew worse until I met a girl; Samantha. She thought she was part Cheetah. We grew inseparable, rarely leaving each others side until she moved away, several years after we met. During all those years I would also have dreams, and what seemed like flashbacks of me running through the woods. Chasing rabbits and deer’s. Wrestling with my wolf brothers and sisters. One day I had woke up in a field that was down the street from my house, curled up under the shade of a tree; a dead rabbit not too far from where I was laying. I later found a light brown like fur in the jacket I was wearing, and I was sure it wasn’t the rabbits. I am able to smell the gasoline from the gas station a mile away and hear things from my neighbors house(which isn’t the best thing.) I can move my ears in a way that would be the same as a wolf pinning their ears back. I go out when its dark out all the time, and I’m one of the few that LOVE running through the woods and do it all the time without being scared. ( The next part might be a TMI) It is odd but when I am around my period I become oddly flirtatious, and sometimes I dream of mating with a wolf. Or finding my own pack.
When I had found this “Therian” meaning, I was at lost of words. I had never felt so relieved, surprised, and in place before. I feel like this is what I am. And if this is true, how do I figure out what type I am? If you can figure out by what I look like, can anyone help me?
I have fair skin, hazel eyes, and dirty blond hair. I am soft-spoken unless something angers me, or makes me upset or triggers my animal-like instincts.( This is quite often, which is why I am labeled a freak at my school). I am petite and five feet, six inches tall. I love darkness, running, eating, sleeping whenever I feel like it. I love living by instincts, though sadly, I cant do this often due to society.
Thanks,
 

LouvelSkinWalker LouvelSkinWalker
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Same here as well so far as I can tell.

I understand your thoughts. I am an ailuranthrope. A cat therian. A way to find your theriotype is by researching wolves, or through meditation. Although there are few types called cladotherians, which are therians without a certian kind. They could range through the entire species. They could be a wolf but one that could become any wolf instead of one. I believe we are gaia's gifted children. One with the human intellect and the animal instincts. The ultimate predator. Though beliefs may vary.

one way to help find your type, is to meditate.I found mine like that I'd just sit there and let my mind drift away not thinking. and one day a big white wolf came to me. good luck in searching.