I'm Losing

I hope this is the right place. I'm really in need of help. While not really a werewolf, I am a hybrid. To explain what that means, I was (I assume by accident) given the "soul" or "spiritual energy" or whatever you want to call it, of an animal instead of the human one I should have. Worse, I am one of the least likely of surviving hybrid combinations, I have not one but TWO souls that do not belong to me!

To make matters worse, one in a predator, wolf likely, maybe even a large dog. The other is equinish in nature. As when one inherits a soul it also gains traits of such, you can imagine how fun that can be. But for years I have managed to keep a balance between the three of us. Ugh, this is hard to explain. All three of my sides are still me, just...different parts of me? They conflict badly. Lately, for reasons I'm not sure on, my canine side has become dominate, trying to take over completely. The battle is wearing me down. I catch myself at work growling at people. I howl while driving. Sometimes I will chase smaller animals simply because they run from me. 

I don't know what to do to bring myself back into check! Someone PLEASE help! Only my human side is capable of thinking about the future, & it's looking very dark! I don't dare indulge myself too much or I may not be able to (no pun intended) reign myself back in! No matter what part of me wins, I ultimatly lose! Has anyone else had any similar problems? How do you control yourself? I've already beat the statistics so far. Hybrids almost never live as long as I have, & even fewer are as successfully integrated into a somewhat normal life. I refuse to give up now.

Rabidwolfie Rabidwolfie
7 Responses Feb 18, 2009

Luckily I do not have the kind of wolf you do, but I can relate. There are times where my wolf just wants to be free... and we have ALL had that urge to hunt small four-legged creatures, esp. those with hooves (mine LOVES deer/antelope). If you can, TRY to find time to get outside and run around, letting the wolf inside you take control for a bit. However, let your wolf know before-hand that you will have to regain control at some point and take you both home. I found this to be very effective in dealing with my wolf side, and her and I are like sisters, in a sense, now. However, now I actually ENCOURAGE her to go free, yet she won't.... instead she mostly hides inside me unless she starts to go crazy or deams it necessary. ANY IDEAS why she could be hiding now? I know that since she has emerged we have gotten... quite an array of other UNWANTED attention from demons and the like that seem to want her OUT of me...<br />
<br />
Could this be causing her to be afraid to come out?? What are your thoughts? Thanks!

I've been very busy since writing this. I haven't regained a full balance, but have found a way to make my canine tendencies helpful by using them in dog training. It's amazing how quickly a dog accepts you as an alpha when you act like one rather than assuming the dog automatically understands what your saying, & when I howl with them, for example when there's a siren, the dog, especially my own, seems to feel closer to me. A soft growl quickly ends negative behaviors. Dogs, even those who are wary of strangers, seem to be quick to accept & trust me.<br />
Now if only I could find a similar use of my other side. I love all hoofies (except pigs) that I've met, but I don't feel connected to them. Most of them make me hungry. What helps is I've found a few other hybrids to talk to. I'm wondering if there's a support group.<br />
<br />
I do meditate on occasion but it doesn't help much. Usually it just leads me to irritating thoughts.

the best thing to do is meditate, it organizes the thoughts and gives you a sense of calm.

good history.. god.. i really want it to be true..

What you are describing is a symptom of the wolf not "being let out to play",<br />
(You supress the wolf, only making it's impulses stronger)<br />
Take a day in the weekend, and go out into the forest and let wolfy be what he is.. That will help, it helps me when I feel like that

I'm trying to spend more time around other people. I'm not really an outgoing type. My freinds all have kids, which keeps them busy. My children have 4 legs & tails. I'm sure that doesn't help but I can't be without them or depression about crushes me.<br />
<br />
I can't e-mail you. It won't let me pm you either, sorry. It says your profile blocks me. I'll try meditating but when I do that I usually slip into thoughts of imagining running, usually through a forest or sunny feild. No destination in mind, just running, & then I feel the need to go roam for a while afterwards.<br />
It's getting increasingly frustrating & I just don't have the strength of will to keep fighting myself for much longer. I used to know others with similar issues as me, but they lost. I'm the only one left of them.

if you need help really bad you can send me a message with qustions. for now i advise medating and doing VERY human stuff. ( no defitnion of that) i'm going sortof <br />
something like this and can help best i can