Sometimes I can't help but feel conflicted between living in the confines and comforts of society, or saying ****-all and disappearing off the grid - living in solitude, in the wild. While the reality of either situation does demand a price to be paid... I realize that I think I am simply disgusted by the de-evolution of our social structures, and humanity as a whole. The civilized world, pertaining to its people, is anything but. I am ashamed to even define this way of life as civilized, but perhaps it's because I am an unsatisfied creature of civilization. I am disheartened by the uncivilized behavior I see around me. Civilization is a place where violence is one of its many birthrights. How is it I feel so alone amongst this crowded fa├žade of establishment? We compete, we fight, we kill, we steal, we burn - if anything, I'm beginning to think we're already in Hell.

But I am aware that there is some measure of good found in the midst of all this evil. Because we suffer, we understand compassion. Because we hate, we understand unconditional love. Because Death knocks upon our doorstep at any given moment, we appreciate how short our lives really are. And because some of us understand this, we are compelled to fight against the darkness that pervades our very lives.

I am in awe of this unrelenting balance that manages to turn as the world spins 'round it. It borders something close to a miracle. We cannot have one without the other in this thing called Life...with it's progeny Good and Evil. This is reality. Every day. Every night. In lieu of all this, I will never quite understand people, and why it is some of us do the things we do, and why it is some of us don't... I will be amiss from their humor, their fancy, and their uncivilized behavior... I will never quite fit in, I will never quite belong. A part of me will always be far away, longing for the wild, untouchable, and most often misunderstood. And I'm okay with that.
drstech drstech
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 31, 2014

I think a lot of what you talk of. Would be solved by people standing up, demanding change, from our most powerful nations. Evil happens when good people do nothing. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Money is root of all evil. Finally religion, are roots of these problems

Also looking at history of man. We made huge progress. Man at what time found it acceptable. To wage genocide on a whim, entire conquered nations made slaves and countless other atrocities. Being a child woman or elder was no salvation. Now there are world courts, holding entire nations accountable.

It hard not to lose faith in man. I'll give you that. In age of technology like this. Abundance of food and water. We should be much better off. It up to us as a people to demand what is right. Make the changes we should. Not be scared to be labeled a hippie or anarchist. Like most are who stand up for change.

The f@ck all live off the grid attitude is fine for a few hearty individuals but for the rest of us, we're comfort creatures that simply have to find our places in this land of Mammon and compete for our little piece of the pie. And actually, those living off the grid have simply taken their little piece of pie to eat in a more private secluded way. There's no real escape.

Not easy for sure.

Reminds me of this creative extra credit I wrote for an English class last year. It was about a native american woman (living back then) stuck in the same kind of conflict.

Nice. Wrote this one afternoon, just thinking about life I guess. Seems like tribespeople are more civilized, or rather this world we live in is on a tightrope between civilized & barbaric ways. It's not easy, but it's also what we have. I guess if life was always easy, we'd never really appreciate it.

It doesn't matter how far back in time, or what culture. Nobody is "civilized" lol

That's a bit premature & naive to say... People can choose to do the right thing. People have. I think by actively making that choice there's a root part of you that becomes this ideation of "civilized" & stands above the mediocrity that everyone seems so comfortable with. I'm so tired of mediocrity.

its not naive at all. I have traveled the world, seen the cities. Lived with tribal people. It's all jacked.

2 More Responses