I Feel Like A Third Wheel With My Best Friends

I have been best friends with my friend (lets call her sarah) for about 3 nearly 4 years now and last summer we started to hang about with another girl (lets call her alice). I have known alice since my first year in high school but have not really got very close with her, but sarah was in a lot of her classes over the past 2 years and so they got quite close. I would say we are all quite close now, but i just can't help feeling like a third wheel sometimes. They seem so much closer to each other than they are to me, they have jokes together that i don't know about and alice will tell sarah things that i don't know about. I mean i understand that i am not as close to alice as sarah is but it still hurts sometimes when they are sitting discussing something right in front of me and i have no idea what it is. I feel like people look at me and they also think that i am a third wheel and just follow my two friends around. I have spoke to sarah about this before a couple of times and she has said that she thinks me and her are a lot closer than she is to alice and that i shouldn't worry about it. I do worry though, nd what makes it worse is that sarah and alice are both a lot prettier and a little bit slimmer than me. Also they seem to go out a lot more together while i stay at home and study or have nothing to do. They do invite me out but only sometimes. They go to parties together and i don't get invited. But then at school we will all get along fine it's just at the weekends i don't always get to spend time with them because i don't have as much money as them to go out every weekend and they live a lot closer to each other. It takes me about 45 minutes to walk to there houses from my house whereas they are only 2 minutes away from each other. I am only a five minute drive but my mum works a lot and cannot always drive me. I don't know what to do to stop feeling like this. I don't think they make me feel like this intentionally but i am worried that they will just get closer and closer and then i will be left on my own. They are also both a lot more popular than me so i only have a couple other friends whereas they have loads. I just feel like they sometimes think i just tag along and that they don't really want me there, and i don't know what to do :( Sarah tells me that i am her best friend and that me and her are a lot closer blah blah blah but it doesn't feel that way and i just want to feel like i am no longer a third wheel, but i suppose three is a crowd isn't it? What can i do to stop feeling this way i hate it :( They went out together today without me as i didn't have any money. Sarah had said to me a couple of days ago that she and alice wouldn't go out if i didn't go with them today and se was begging me to go and when i said she couldn't they went any way. On the odd occasion when i do go out with them i feel like they have more fun when it is just them rather than with me as they always come back with really funny stories about things they did and when i am with them it's just normal. They also always text each other and talk to each other every day but they can go days without talking to me! Am i a third wheel or am i just being silly?
Kazafcb814 Kazafcb814
18-21, F
52 Responses Mar 10, 2012

I am sorry to say, but it does look that u r a third wheel 😬 But it's alright u can do something abt it coz it's not too late now. So wot I suggest u do is maybe try to b closer to Alice so then u wouldn't only know Sarah nd u would know both of them nd maybe try to tell ur mum abt it nd then see wot she can do nd tell her exactly how u feel abt ur friends nd lets see if she can do anything to make ur friendship with ur friends stronger. I rlly hope this works 😊 Ttyl xxx

I get it. I was that person back in elementary school. The only difference being my "alice" made me feel left out on purpose, and my "sarah" would talk with me about how mean "alice" was to me but would still follow along without standing up for me. If someone is really your friend, they wont let you feel left out. But, you also can't do what I did and let them do that to you without doing anything about it yourself. Confront them BOTH. Seriously.Tell them how you really feel. And if that makes them upset with you, or they think your being a baby, then they really aren't worth it.

I understand. Sometimes I just want to cry into my pillow because I can't talk to my best friends about themselves can I? And all that is just bottled up inside me and I feel like a bomb waiting to blow up

I feel yah. But the thing is the other two a Portuguese so it's like I don't know what they're talking about. I tried talking to em but it isn't working. But I'm just gunna act like em and try and be more involved. They always link arms, I'll do that. They always have sleepovers, I'll ask to join etc. if all else fails join school clubs and express your talents watch them come running back

I have a similar problem except my best friend has this boyfriend and its like he's more important to her than me and its also the same with girls too I don't have a lot of friends but she does but yeah you are the third wheel but you are just going to have to deal with it if you don't want to let her go but nothing is going to change sorry.

Girl you can't let yourself be dragged around like that! Whether you have a lot of money or not you can always have fun! Try some clubs at your school, go to the park more often! And have fun and make friends! You don't need them to shine! Or to live! There are so many people who are looking for a friend like you! You just need to go out and find them! Broaden your friendshIp circle and have fun! You don't deserve to be treated like this!

I am in the same situation as u. Me and my best friend (let's call her Lilly) have been besties since reception (now in year 8) and we always used to do everything together. When we started y7 we met a girl (let's call her Grace) and we became good friends. Grace first invited us round but I couldn't go as I had dance, and it pretty much went on from there- she would ask us both but on te day I had dance. She then began just asking Lilly and not me, and they began having sleepovers frequently. Me and Lilly are in different classes to grace but we get the bus with her. I just feel like Lilly has left me, and it just makes me feel very upset. Lilly said she wasn't doing anything 4 Halloween, but I later see on instagram a pic wit them together in costumes. They go shopping together and on Lilly's birthday Grae made a collage with pics and a massive paragraph with things and moments together, none of which I knew about or understood. I really like Lilly as she is ma bae, and I really want to get closer to grace again, but I don't know how? I feel like all of this wouldn't have happend if I didn't have dance and went to hers at the start more often, we probably would have been a lot closer :(

Hi, I actually third wheel for 2 situations...
1. I just moved to a new school where one of my old friends went, but I didn't realize how close she got to another friend till I suddenly became the third wheel for them. They would always laugh and joke around and have inside jokes while I'm just awkwardly sitting there.. I feel so left out and I don't know if I should just give up on them...
2. My best friend had recently started dating someone, and now she's ignoring me and talking to him 24/7. If she DOES talk to me, it's about how she's worried that he likes me or how he hasn't talked to her for the last 5 minutes or so. Before she started dating, we were legit sisters, having so many inside jokes and goofing around all the time.. Now she doesn't even care about what I have to say..

Same here same exact situation im in

I am experiencing the same exact thing except im the new friend. Every single thing you mentioned has happened to me but I can't talk to them about it because they are fine without me but I won't be

I have almost exactly the same situation. I have this best friend who moved to my school and I felt so relieved cause it meant I wouldn't be the third wheel with these two girls (Anna and lynne for example) when my best friend came lynne decides to leave Anna and take my best friend away. I find that's she's always trying to impress people she likes and changes her personality to fit them. I just find it a bit annoying that I'm giving her leeway again. I convinced my best friend to come so I could have my own best friend to talk to about Anna and Lynne who always let me third wheel. Why am I always second choice? I tried explaining it to my best friend but it's hard cause she didn't see Lynne in the last year that I've observed her. It's the 3rd time that Lynne has made me third wheel and I can always tell when we go to sit down she has the choice to sit next to me or my best friend and she chooses to put my best friend in the middle. It's ridiculous cause I'm the one always walking behind when it's MY best friend and Lynne who she technically met later than me and I was meant to be the glue that joined them.

your a third wheel. its okay, Im a third wheel with my two best friends also, lets call them Elizabeth and Sophia. Sophia and Elizabeth alway hang out with each other and I'm always excluded. I rarely get invited to do things with them and they plan things right in front of me with out inviting me! I hate it!!! when were in class they always have these inside jokes and vines that the know about and I don't. They are always with each other and when we walk in the hallway, its usually Elizabeth and Sophia right next to each other and me on the sidelines or behind them. It makes me really sad. Ive know Sophia longer than Elizabeth has know Sophia. Me and Sophia used to have inside jokes and funny little jokes that only we got, and we were best friends. then one day Elizabeth came along and me and Elizabeth became friends, then Elizabeth basically stole my friend away from me!! I hate that I'm never included and it makes feel like a loser. They are both prettier than me and skinnier than me an have long brown hair. At lunch, they almost always sit next to each other, and I third wheel... Ive tried saying something to them but it just goes one ear and out the other. I wish i was never a third wheel. My advice for you is to find that best friend that only you to know a joke or you guys are similar. its hard to do, but keep trying thats what I'm doing, they go to the mall together and basically spend every other weekend together. Im always left out but, I hope you feel a little better knowing that your not the only third-wheel. Today in the hallway on our way to lunch I was walking with Sophia and then Elizabeth just came in and pushes me out of the way and I became a third wheel. I hope you have better luck with your friends!! Its not easy being a third wheel.

it is not easy at all especially when my best friend(have been for like 10 years together) tell me i don't want to be friends anymore.that was heartbeaking

I totally feel what ur feeling my friends are in the same class this year and it's been hard I've been friends with one for 6 years and I've only been friends with another friend for 2 yrs. I really feel left out because on the bus me and my closer friend always sit together but now she sits with (I'm going to call her Grace) Grace now and they listen to music together and talk about crushes and other people without me even when I'm right there. It hurts but I don't want to be left with my self and they are slimmer than me and live closer also. I just sometimes want to cry and scream on my pillow.

do you also feel all the memories coming back when you go somewhere you used to go together and so? i swear i dream about he sometimes and she left me like 5 months ago it makes me mad

Oh my goodness. I've been feeling this way about my group of friends for about a year now. Like I see their posts on social media from when they go out and I just cry because it hurts so much that they have that much fun when I'm not with them. They don't do that when I am with them.

I feel the same. Me and my two other friends have been friends for a while and became best friends about 3 years ago. They instantly became closer friends while I was left alone. They'd have all these great memories than laugh about inside jokes and secret handshakes. At lunch we would all go see our two othe friends than if become the fifth wheel, always left out. I had my bestfriend but since I'm in grade 8 and I'm in French but she's in English we wouldn't see Eachother so I'd been the third wheel forever. I have no idea how it could possibly get worse but since I'm going into high school next year were all going to different schools (I know this sounds mean but,) I can't WAIT!!! Finally not being a third or fifth wheel seems like a dream (which is pretty sad) but I'm glad I only have 1 more month to deal with it than I'm done cutting them off seems like the best option.

I have the same problem I don't know and guess what they are having a sleepover right now I don't know if I could be friends with them I have another friend her name is ella she is nice we talk a lot and text so what should I do??😭😭😭πŸ˜₯😰😒

I understand your situation. Except I normally spend time with my group of 5 including me. It can be fun but in classes and around school they tend to break off into pairs without me. Especially when we're told to pick partners. Also, like you when things are arranged I'm the one who isn't usually invited. It's made difficult because 3 of the 4 others live in the same village so they can spend more time together. But I can honestly say things will get better if you choose to stay with them. I've been in this situation once before but I'm going through it again now :(. Your options are to become a bit closer with others or persevere with your current group. I recommend telling them how you feel instead of hurting them unintentionally if you leave them for others. Thank you for taking the time to read this and remember you're not alone xx

Although you won't want to hear this, you do sound like a third wheel. Maybe you aren't, but from what you have said it sound like it. You need to show them, that you don't need them. Build relationships with other people and they will soon come running back, Id not they aren't worth it

I'm in a similar experience except for one of those girls moved to another country; however, I don't think you or myself are being silly. I truly believe we have become a couple of third wheels. I am sorry for your situation.

I feel yaβœ‹πŸΌ the only like difference is like when we talk about hanging out and make plans one of my friends she asks her mom if she can go and she says yes but right before we go her mom will change her mind so she can't go my other friend usually always can but if one doesn't go then the other one doesn't want to do we end up not going I have probly hung out with them 3 times from Aug. - May maybe a little more than 3 but I don't think so

Something like that happened to me - I just moved from Primary school to secondary school and I was the only girl from my old school. I made friends with these girls but they aren't popular, they hide away in the toilets and don't talk to anyone. So later during the year I made friends with this girl (let's call her Mimi) and she was cool, she wasn't the most popular girl in school but she was very pretty and we had so much fun and she became one of my best friends. Things had been going really well, I had been invited to lots if parties including this girl (let's call her Maisy) and she was a bit more popular than Mimi, and she had a best friend (let's just call her Charlotte) and they had been best friends in Primary School and I actually became much more close to Charlotte, we went shopping and had sleepovers and she became one of my best friends for a little while, but she always had to talk about Maisy and she wouldnt shut up and she was always with her and telling everyone how inseparable they were. So I guess I was wrong and on one occasion I invited them both to go shopping but since they had been best friends they were walking in front of me, just talking about stuff I didn't know about, and it was impossible to be with them!
So what I did is I tried to keep my options open and now I am in year 8 and Charlotte and Maisy are still friends but have moved on a bit, and now I have my amazinf friends from all different schools that I spend time with and I love them lots. Including Mimi and Charlotte <3

Hate to break it to you, but I think you're a third wheel. You shouldn't feel sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I have two friends that are really close and they always have these inside jokes that I wouldn't know about. I feel so left out sometimes. If I were you, I would talk to "Sarah" about how you feel and work it out with her. You might feel like your asking for attention, but your not. If "Sarah" was really your friend, than she would understand. She might not even know that she's "ignoring" you. You should also try to talk to them more. Start planning fun events and try to get closer to Alice. That way you guys can hopefully all be very close friends. I was in the exact same position as you, and I believe a lot of people have been too. Just know your not alone ❀️ And that everything will get better. I hope u take my advice and that everything works out .

I also had the same situations.. So me and my friend, lets say called m. From the beggining i dont want to be her friend cause i see that she rols her eyes and is annoying. But after a while we becam bffs. This year a new girl came lets say she called n. So what happend is we meet her and try to be nice to her. But then we are bffs. Me m and n. Then at sometimes now they leave me behind even though i love them both. They dont invite me with them to their house. I may say yes but i also may say no. Another thing is that m trys ti take n away from me and all for herself. What should i do? Please help i feel like a third- wheel and that no one likes me, anymore as a bffl.😳

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i have a simillar problem, im 16 and go to a highschool in uk and on my course i was friend with 3 girls but the girl that was 16 went back to her home country now the other 2 are like toothbrush and tooth paste and im the dentalfloss....-_-.... so theyre 17 going on 18 have way more fun toghther as they are older and can do more,theyre taste in fashion like if they where shops they would be zara and would be more like morgan,then they got their lives toghther boyfriends ,jobs getting ready to drive while im epileptic,i take kepra that ***** up my mental health, lack alot of confidence to be who i am ,but i focus on my studies.ontop of that they speak a language that is simillar to my mothertoungue but i barley get what they talk about and theyre dreams are basic well paid jobs then marrige and kids while mine is a career that works my way up the ladder then i want to travel but also marrige idk anymore they inflence me so much.this situation upsets me so much as of my past experiences of bullied and then i at one point as with people who needed me but never wanted me , i got paraniod of things they would say behind my back .....i dont want this to happen again.my only option is to wait until im moved classes next year.dont get me wrong tho we still have had good times and as they are older and more experienced i seek their advice and well thats how it is i want it to change so bad because i like them, i just dont want friends that stick around nly for a while or that are fake.

that is just like what happened to me! My best friend(lets call her Penny) and i used to hang out EVERYDAY and have so many inside jokes but last summer she started hanging out with another girl(lets call her Sarah) when I went away for camp and they got really close. when school started again she merged into our group. Penny and Sarah would sit with us, but just face each other and ignore us by talking about things no one else understood and when we asked they would just laugh. When i tried to get closer with them, i can just tell more that I'm the 3rd wheel. i was walking up the steps and Sarah digs her nails into my sides and pulled me down the steps. Then she pretended that nothing happened and ran up the steps to be with Penny. Thats about the time where i would stay in the bathroom for a longer time to get away from them. When I'm with them they are always like why are you so quiet and i want to say bc your leaving me out but i don't tell them. Im too scared to tell them, but some nights i stay up crying about it so i don't know what to do

I'm so sorry this is happening and even though you posted this about 3 years ago I'm still going to respond. I have a similar problem but not exactly the same. I felt sort of like an intruder at the beginning. I'm in 8th grade. There was this 2 girls (We'll call them Makayla and Shelby) They had been friends since 6th grade and now this year Shelby is like in in all of my classes but Makayla and Shelby aren't. Shelby started acting super friendly and we became really close. But after school we all walk together. Shelby and Makayla live close to each other but anyways, they always talk about inside jokes, stories and all these things I don't know about. I'm walking along with them but I'm quiet and don't know what they're talking about. Then one day, Makayla texted this girl (Lets call her Sky) Makayla texted to Sky that I get on her nerves and she doesn't exactly like me. Sky, being the nice girl she is, she told me about this. I started acting cautiously around Makayla. Makayla noticed and took advantage of this. Her and Shelby now always hang out without asking me if I want to come along, they end FaceTime calls when the other is calling. I do have another best friend though. What I would suggest is that you (If it has come to such a point where you cant stand it anymore) do is you completely make sure you make them understand how you feel. If this doesn't work then just find a new group of friends that you really trust. I'm not to such a point though yet. I think I'll do fine.

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I've never had my own bestfriend that we have our own little special things and we never act different in public or anything I did kinda for like a year but she found her BestFriend:( and now I'm going through it all over and It hurts me

Hey so it's been almost 3 yrs lol :) but I had a pretty similar experience. I've never had one true friend and I'm in 8th grade now and it sucks. I have like a group but it's 3 people (that's my main one, i have a lot of others too) but i feel so much like the third wheel too.


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I felt like this in 7th grade but after a while if you stick with your best friend it goes away cause two years later I'm a freshman in high school and we don't even talk to the other girl anymore

i sounds silly but u sound just like me we are almost like twins

I have the same problem. My best friend is just she's known this other girl so much longer. Let's call my friend Mary and the other girl Victoria. So me and Victoria aren't friends and we are both friends with Mary. Since Mary has known Victoria longer they always talk about jokes and stuff from past years when I didn't know them. They talk about there little brothers and stuff that I've never meet and I feel so left out.

I know what you feel I'm a third wheel me and my best friend Heidi know each other since pre-k in 4 grade another friend came along her name is Jennifer we were very close then in 5 grade they got alot closer they always pull me to be with them but never talk to me and they use me as protector from boys when there is a boy they don't like they make get in front of them and they keep on talking side by side always a.when I get home I cry because of it and its sad and today my "bff" was with Jennifer and they said come and I said no they said why and I told them what I felt the. They started acting nice to me but I know they did it because they saw how I was feeling but it will be the same on Monday when this happens tell them what you feel and if they dont get it just tell them the friendship is over and you will stop suffering hopefully

I have known my best friend Abby since 4th grade. (I'm in 6th btw...) the in the beginning of 5th grade a girl named Kate came. Abby wasn't really friends with Kate at first, but once the school play came around, they were both in it and they hung out together, because they were in the same class. I'm in 6th grade now and this has been going on since about Christmas 2013. But now they are hangingout way more now. I feel like they are leaving me out of something, and Abby still acts like she's my friend, but I'm not really sure if she actually still likes me. I, of course, being me, am even too shy to tell her what's on my mind. I really need help, I am literally crying while writing this...

OMG OMG OMG this is exacally whats happening to me my bff sarah i new her when i was 3. I new molly since 5th grade. im 7th btw. It became me and molly then 6 grade happen i had no classes with molly. This year in 7th i have 1 and lunch. sarah has 4 and lunch fuc! It feels like sarah wants molly 4 her self. im to scared to tell her. They keep secrets from me. Yes u r the third wheel. that didnt help. Well oh well.

oh and im bad at making friends. but these worked

This is me too. My friends Jaime and Cara were friends, and I kind of came into the equation a little later. I didn't think about it too much until I realized HOW much time they were spending time together and not even inviting me. This has gone on for 2 and a half years; they always go on vacation with each other, and they talk about all the good times they've had in the past, and I was there for almost none of those times. Now there's this new girl named Cameron and she's kind of a biatch and she doesn't respect me. She was talking about her very best friend, Amanda, to Cara and she was like, "Amanda is to me like how Jaime is to you," and I was sitting RIGHT THERE and I just kind of sat there awkwardly and my God I wanted to HIT Cameron in her pinched up face. I will never be a real part of the friendship. I hate feeling so left out all of the time.

This probably feels like the last thing you want to do, but you should try to branch out and make some new friends. Although I used to think that it was my friends faults for leaving me out, I found out a long time ago that the only thing that's keeping you the third wheel is yourself. I found this out after I had been a third-wheel/doormat for my group for several years when I finally got sick of it and started to hang out with them less and more with different people. Not only did it give me some space, but it also (not to sound like a manipulative b***h) turned the situation in my favor. Once I only started talking to them once in a while and stopped going over their houses, they actually started to miss me. Invites through texts and calls soon came flooding in. In my mind, 'friends' who intentionally make other people feel excluded are bullies and therefore disgust me. Most of the time, once you stop talking to them they'll keep themselves in check and start being friendlier to you. I hope this helped :)

Thank you, I have to reccomend these points, they really worked for me and made me feel stonger and more confidance in my freindship group 😊

I feel the exact same way except it is four friends me and my friend "Aria" met last year and became best friends but then "Emily" and "Spencer" who were in Arias class two years ago started hanging out with us Spencer and Emily were basically bffs and me and aria were so we could evenly divide but then Aria got really close with Emily at one point so me and Paige just started hanging out but now Paige and Aria are really bonding and I'm obviously Emily's least fave out of us four so she hangs with the other girls and I just sort of follow them and they will all start laughing and I would be there clueless I just try to be brave but it hurts so much and when I'm alone I just cry. Stay strong

I feel exactly the same. My bestie "T" and I have been best friends for 9 years! Then I have this other best friend "G". G and T have been hanging out a lot together. The other day I heard T say that G was her best friend! I felt so hurt inside. G and T always pair up and now they are going to the same high school while I'm going somewhere else! Now, I am getting over it. I hang out with my other friends and kind walk away when T gets close. Don't let anybody take away your dignity!

I feel the same thing today
like my Bestie is" L" and she met that girl "M"
"M" is really nice i love her but she's not like a bestie to me
they hangout a lot without me and talk about stuff and joke and i feel like i'm alone and i'm a third wheal
I know and sure that for "L" I'm closer to her than "M"
but i can't help it
so when this happens when we're out i start feeling alone and sad and they start wondering why I'm quite

it really feels bad

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Heyy girl I felt the same way about my friends we are 4 ov us i'm gonna use some fake names one is called Samara,Tasha and AlinaAt first it was me and Samara then she decided to join Tasha in the group i ddn't quite like her but i had to flow with what Samara wanted. Then later came Alina that was the mistake i ever did joining her in our group t.. she was the reason for mine and Samara's relationship to be weaker. I couldn't help how i felt and told Samara how I feel and she told me that there is nothing like that.. I hope there is no such thing .. you should try talking to your friends :) All the best :) xxxx

I AGREE. So i have these two friends, (im going to tell you their real names) Ashley and Jamie. Ashley and I have know each other since kindergarten, and have always been best friends. But in fourth grade (im in 5th now and its still the same) We met Jamie. Jamie was very nice and stuff, and we all became friends. But then, it hit me. They started hanging out a lot! Ashley would always go to her house and i would NEVER Be invited. They always have inside jokes and make cool dances together! Still today i feel left out. Whenever i tell them the way i feel, they just say ''Oh sorry'' and pretend it's nothing. Sometimes, i even cry (sobbing too) please don't make fun of me for doing this, but it just hurts so much to see my best friend Ashley forget about me and hang out with Jamie.... If you feel the same way please respond, and maybe we can help out eachother!

I feel the same
i feel like i wanna cry but i don't wanna make a fool of myself
but when i'm alone i do

I know exactly how u feel:( I was over at my longtime bestfreinds house ,"Sarah" and Janet", and they had invited another girl over that I didn't really like and Sarah and Janet knew I didn't like her. So then they invited there cousin over and so Sarah started leaving me out and talking to her cousin and then Janet left me out talking to her friend. So I texted my mom telling her that I was not having a good time and I wanted to come home so she picked me up and I went home. The thing was they didn't even care that I left. The whole time I was sitting on the bed watching them talk to each other and leaving me out. I had another situation like this too.

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i know exactly how you feel....lets call this person (sarah) so me and sarah have been friends for a year now and we are really close in the holidays we used to always text eachother everyday and sit in class together. but now this year we are in the same class still and sarah has made some new friends i have just sticked with the same friends in my class. but sarah has been becoming really close to another girl...they laugh alot together they always sit together in class they hug alot...and when im sitting with them in class all they talk about is what the texted eachother and i feel really excluded now i used to do all that stuff with sarah....i dont talk much to her now.......i feel really hurt i dont know why but i dont like feeling this way....

I know exactly what you mean. I have a friend that I have known since year 2 and a friend I have had since year 8 causing me this problem. We have a large group of friends (that I am sort of close to but none of us have classes together and most of them live far away from me) and when the whole group is together it is ok but in class... not so much... In year 8 and 9 'Alice' and I were together and 'Sarah' was with some of our other friends but this year it is the 3 of us together. 'Alice' and 'Sarah' have about 9 hand shakes and private jokes so I can't help but feel left out as each new 3 person hand shake reduces itself to a 2 person handshake overnight. They are also prettier, skinnier and get better grades than me no matter how hard I try which doesn't help. We are also split into colour groups at our school and all of my friend besides me and two others are in purple, I am in green and the other two are in red and gold. I have told them I feel left out but they seem to laugh it off and dismiss the idea completely. I don't know... Growing up is hard... DX

I feel you. My two best friends have gotten super close and even though I love them like sisters, I feel like they're on a tandem bike wheras I'm on a unicycle. (Okay that wasn't a very good example but you know what I mean.) I wish this feeling would go away, but whenever I see them having fun together when I'm not invited, I really want to result to violence and rip out someone's larynx. (Okay that was a bit extreme.) Seriously, let's all find a way to do something about this.

I feel your pain! :( I had a best friend since Kindergarten and all of a sudden, this year (I am in the 8th grade) she became the greatest friends with an "Alice". They have all their classes together whereas I only have 1 with Sarah... It can become frustrating when I cannot keep up with their conversations! They only part about my story that is different than yours is that I am much thinner than them. :) But it still hurts how they ignore me at times... I suppose there isn't much I can do other than try to spend more time with "Sarah". Thank you so much for sharing your story... I felt alone and like this only happens to me! Best of luck with your friends.

You are definitely a third wheel but it's mkay, why don't you just do the same thing back. Make another best friend and hang out with her/him 24/7 you'll be too busy with your new bestfriend to hang out with your old ones. Your friend will eventually miss you. Even better is to just invite your new bestfriend and your other old friend and make them the third wheel.

I understand.. I actually just Google-d it and this is what came up! I'm totally going through the same thing. I don't honestly know. I feel like a Third Wheel, too, because they do seem much closer. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling but know you're not alone! ;)

I don't know if you will read this, but I can not tell you how much this sounds like my own story. The same thing with your sarah and alice, is almost quite exact to what I am feeling. These two girls that I hang out with, our so much prettier, skinnier, and more popular than I. I am so much closer with one of them (bff), but then the other girl I am just a friend to. They live like 2 minutes away from each other and I am like a 8 minute drive away. They have known each other for like 5 years and I have only known my (bff) for like 1 1/2-2 years. The thing I really want to know is how you have dealt with this feeling for the last year. I feel so excluded and feel like I should just forget about them : (

I'm glad someone can relate to how i felt :) I understand how you feel right now and i can tell you it does get better! Which i'm sure you'll be glad to hear lol. At first i tried to make myself as involved as possible and would invite them both places and try organise plans that we could all be involved in, but to be honest in the end i didn't feel like it made much difference (however, that doesn't mean you can't give that a shot :)) After a while i just got so sick of feeling like i was a third wheel that i just gave up and thought "if they want to talk to me/see me they will make the effort" because what your friends need to remember is friendship is a two way thing; at some point they are going to have to make an effort with you aswell - and if they don't they really are not worth bothering about! Anyways, it ended up that when we started a new year at school, and our classes got changed, that i met more people. I still went around with Alice and Sarah though so nothing much changed at this point. But after a while, Alice got a boyfriend (and started acting a little bit differently ) and all of a sudden Sarah could suddenly be bothered with me again! At first i was a little bit glad and thought "well i've got my bestfriend back", but the more i thought about it, she had ditched me for months for Alice and all of a sudden - when Alice had someone else to be with - she thought it was ok to just come running back to me. So i ended up getting a part-time job, and so would only really see Sarah and Alice at school and be busy at the weekends (and with them not being as close anymore they had nothing to do). And at work i ended up meeting other people and started to hand around with them when i was off - and one of the girls i work with goes to my school and we became really close. Sorry i'm going a little bit too much into this now haha! The point i'm trying to make is when i ended up hanging about with other people Sarah and Alice got jealous, and now they are the ones who have started making more of the effort as i just sometimes won't bother to text them or make plans and go and meet other people. I think what it made them realise was that i wasn't just going to sit about and wait until they could be bothered with me, that i actually had other people who i could spend time with. I'm a lot happier now with how things are and do still spend time with Sarah and Alice, but now becuase i have met other people it wouldn't bother me as much if they left me out (which for some reason they rarely do now!). So my advice to you would be, well you could try a few things really:
1. Try and make plans yourself more that involve you aswell - so invite them to hang out while all three of you are there. Which i'm sure you try!
2. Is there other people you talk to at school? If so then maybe try become closer to them - not so much that you completely exclude the two girls you out with - just enough to show them you do have other friends.
3. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you don't already have one then getting a part-time job is a great way to meet new people (i was lucky that where i work has a lot of young people around my age working there) and it will keep you busy plus your friends won't see you as much which will probably lead them to miss you!
4. You could talk to your two friends (if you haven't already). They may not know that you feel as left out as you do. Maybe you just need something as simple as talking to them to change whats happening.
I mean there are many htings you could probably do, i'm just suggesting a few things here, and if you meet new people then great - i mean you might even find someone who makes better friends than the two you hang around with. What you need to remember though is that "friends" that are not willing to make an effort to spend time with you/talk to you are not worth it and they don't deserve your friendship! In the end all i did was meet some new people, and still make time occasionally to hang around with Alice and Sarah. I'm sorry this was so long lol, but i hope i have managed to help - if even just a little bit - and that you can start to maybe no longer feel as left out as you do.
Good luck to you :)!

Thanks so much for ur time with responding :) Some of your suggestions, I have already tried and then others I will look into! I'm just glad that you got to meet other people and be happy with the people that your around now :)

Thank you for your comment :) I understand what you are saying and you could be right about her being bored with the friendship. I guess i could suggest a group sleepover and see what happens, and maybe i do need a new friend in the group or something - someone i can share secrets with and stuff like you said :) My mum is always telling me to make new friends and maybe i should but i just feel really sad when i see them getting so close and i feel left out! So if this group sleepover or whatever doesn't work should i start making more friends or just try again - or does that make me sound sad and desperate and really like a third wheel lol :)?

To be honest, I may be completely out of order for saying this, and there could be no way this would ever happen, but, is there someone you're close with, someone you can talk to anything about, apart from this girl you've known for a while, and this other girl you've known for a shorter time. Maybe it's time for a change, maybe there should be a new member to the group, someone who shares private jokes with you, and someone you can make memories with.<br />
At school, I have a best friend, and I'm in year 9 so, me and her, (i'll just call her millie) have been best friends since year 7, but when I came into year 8, I became friends with a group of people, I fancied a change if you like, me and millie, we talked but it was kind of an on and off situation, she used to annoy me quite a bit with her needy habits, I was happy with my new group of friends, but come the very end of year 8, we all fell out, but I stuck friends with one of the group members, (i'll call her lola) I think, because it was new and exciting, millie kind of felt out of the loop, which I'm guessing is how you feel, but maybe it's just because, you and this girl you've known a long time, have known eachother for so long, maybe the friendship is getting... boring? I know that sounds harsh, but maybe because the other friendship is new to her, she's hanging around with this other girl, maybe you need something that will make your friendship more exciting? to bring you all closer? maybe a group sleepover, or something like it.