Redefining "feminine."

This topic is pretty big, and honestly, I have kind of been at war with myself about who I am. I was not too into Barbies. I had more gender-neutral stuffed animals than actual dolls. If I had the choice between playing "house" and "school," I inevitably chose "school." My parents encouraged more gender-neutral play, which was fine by me. Oh sure, every now and then I'd pretend my Strawberry Shortcake comforter was Cinderella's ball gown, just because I DO like pretty dresses. I am less likely to choose pink than bold red, blue or green, but I think it was the way Cinderella's story involved magic.

But I had this one old red-blue-and-yellow bedsheet I'd drawn the Superman shield on, and that's one of the games I'd play most often. My two best school friends were boys, one of whom was a "Superman" freak like me, only his mom made him go to bed right when the movies were on, which did not seem fair at all to me.

Nowadays, I've taken the tomboy thing to a new level: I am very much into video games. I don't play them as often as I would like, but given what I want to do for a career and I have a full-time job, I know my priority during my work-week is NOT video games.

The thing that kills me about being a female tomboy is the assumption that I'm either lesbian or at least bi. I am far from either one. Another thing that reaffirms my oddball way of life is "Cosmopolitan." I have read many an issue and I come away from each experience knowing I cannot be the kind of female that "Cosmo" caters to. So I have set out to redefine "feminine."

Here is a short list of what I think it can and should mean to be feminine.

1) Feminine simply means Yin, or receptive energy. A woman has BOTH Yin and Yang energy, and it's the same for the guys, and each human has a mixture of one percentage
or another. (Take that, sexist homophobes!)

2) Being feminine should have less to do with what's a "boy's task/career" and what's a "girl's task/career." Gender division like this is harmful to the collective human psyche.

3) Just because women have breasts and vagina, that should not bar them from enjoying video games or tabletop RPGs or geeking out on movies like "Star Wars." Some girls I know of are taught that such things are unfeminine, and I think such limitations are a total travesty.
druidkat7 druidkat7
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

Hi kat! I think you know what I have to say about gender. ^_^ People around my age in their 20s, and even younger, would never associate tomboy interested with sexual orientation, they're simply too commonplace. More and more girls of younger ages play video games so it isn't really a gender divide their anymore. You can probably guess people are curious as to my orientation as well when I say like feminine things. And I'm just like, "nope, I'm straight. I oly like women." and say it matter of factly with a smile. :) No more questions or second guessing afterwards!

Tell you what, want to play video games in pretty dresses with me? :D lol, we can have it both ways!

I agree