My Situation. Need Advice.

I am 21 years old, I live at home with my mother, but will soon be moving in with my uncle and grandmother. I work a part-time job at wal mart. I have few friends, no real life mostly online. I have no girl friend my life growing up was less than pleasant. 1 example my mother was stabbed by my father (she did live). I was raised never to project my insecurities on other people so writing this is 21 years of suppression. I personally feel that if you are not strong enough to deal with your own emotional problems than your just pathetic and not worth life anyways. I have very conservative views in a world where I believe the people around me are Untermensch especially those that expect hand out are socialist and communists ect ect. I do not believe in hand outs basically. I am ashamed to be telling this story and may decide to not submit it. I don't know where I am going in life I have no real skill accept (Illegal ) ones that I wont go on about. My personal beliefs as far as religion go is less than socially acceptable I am an Agnostic I lean toward there is no afterlife at all. So unlike most people that can run to religion for a security net I cannot. I have studied alot of history, mythology, and religion which is why I tend not to believe. I think i truly do "hate" people that may be one of my biggest problems when I am in a setting I feel if I am disrespected I should have the right to punish the person because I do feel I am above most people. I have acted on this before and will probably always. Even if I don't know who I am or where I'm going or how to solve all my problems I will be dammed before I let another thing disrespect me. "Man said unto the universe I exist! The universe responded that fact does not instill a sense of responsibility in me. I respond I didn't want the help of a lower form than myself anyways!" Perhaps it is me who truly is the one in the wrong. All that I have learned says that I am not though. Common sense is not used in this world anymore and it troubles me because I refuse to follow the rest of the heard. I ramble (as you can tell) my mind races and I do have a hard time focusing on one subject. I feel as though I shouldn't be expected to deal with all the ******* morons in the world that get all the girls get the job they didn't work for or set on there *** collecting welfare! I am not looking for an argument if that is what you want **** you do something about it! I do however want constructive advice because apparently the world wont change so that means ultimately I will have to change or die trying to change the world. Ok I'm done venting I'm expecting the worst respond because I believe people are innately cruel.
Whattodowithmylife Whattodowithmylife
18-21, M
May 21, 2012