I have just gone through a breakup where my boyfriend just stopped answering my calls and messages. We had been together for 8 months and we were in a long-distance relationship so there is no way I can contact him again short-term.

I think I was a horrible person. I could face everyone else with a pleasant (or at least I try so hard to be) disposition, though I know I give off a serious and sad vibe, I just picked on my boyfriend. Every/most if the time, there would be something that he did that irritated me so much that I cried. I knew it wasn't that serious but I just cried and cried. I didn't want to be like this. I wanted us to spend happy times together but there would always be something that broke my heart and I would cry, even though I knew well myself that I could also have controlled my emotions and not let them burst out as well.

I wondered if it was an accumulation of frustrations, from where, I believe to be my own issues ultimately. We had been struggling to breakup for a few months but eventually this was what I ended up with, a sudden disappearance.

I don't think I'm going to step into love again. He had three girlfriends edited him, they dumped him and I was the first person he dumped. How bad was I that he had to dump me in such a harsh manner. I am less of a person, and I don't think anything else will convince me against that.

I'm afraid my overwhelming emotions and struggles with myself will spill and create more issues with other people even. I have been losing control of what I do. I have been feeling tired all the time, and I knocked out at some point of the day frequently. Which brought some trouble for the rest, e.g. Deadlines etc. I don't want to be a nuisance.
msfa msfa
22-25, F
Aug 22, 2014