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I Am A Trans-woman Under Construction

Realising I Was Born Wrong

By: RachelRedhead
Written on February 15th, 2010

ok I was 4 and I was playing in the school ground and I suddenly realised that while I knew I was a girl like all my friends people weren't treating me like I was one, they were treating me like I was a boy and I didn't like it and then I realised further that I was a boy, on the outside but I was a girl inside but I was way too scared of being put up for adoption (my parent's usual threat if me or my brother did anything 'naughty'), so I just kind of spent a long time living in a mixture of anguish, denial, pain and misery.

By: RachelRedhead
Age: 36-40 , Transgender
295 people have read this story

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4 responses
  • Rose35
    Rose35

    I know in kindergarten my friends were the girls. In elementary school I wanted to play with the girls but knew I could not. By the time I was twelve and going through puberty I knew I was wrong in the form of my body. For 34 years I tried to be the guy my parents wanted while my sisters grew up and had children as the girls they were. I fought and struggled with my pain of being trapped in the body of a guy while I knew I was meant to be a girl. I wanted it so bad and thought that it would never happen to me. I eventually turned to magic, voodoo and such trying to become the real me. This last summer, after not finding anything that worked, I hit bottom and was ready to end it all. I went to see a therapist and was told I could transition if I followed his rules. I agreed and within three months I was on HRT. It has been what I was missing and my life has taken a turn for the better. As a woman I have more confidants, I am more out going and I am much more out spoken. When one of my girl friends found out I was transitioning she told me "Girls have bigger balls than guys do, you go girl." Age is not a restriction on transition and life is to short to put it off. Go for it and let what happens happen.

    Rose

    Jan 16
    2 likes
  • pliadjumper
    pliadjumper

    i share the same feelings i started to become the woman i always knew i was about a year ago i lived 42 year beating my self up this last year i lived as a woman has been the best part of my life im happy at last

    Dec 14, 2011
    1 like
  • VivienR
    VivienR

    You are not alone with this, you have lot of sister, with common feeling.

    Oct 7, 2011
    1 like
  • Kimberlyannofgeorgia
    Kimberlyannofgeorgia

    We share the same feelings love and at about the same age too. ((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))

    Oct 2, 2011
    1 like