I Did Not Love Myself

In fact i wanted to de-transition because I thought in my heart that I could never be as pretty as those young t-ladies and that had me so depressed that I could only think just stop trying. As it went I continued to transition it was one of those things I got blonde hair she got black hair I drive a Chevy she drives a Mercedes thing I realized that I alone was me just me no matter who any else was or is to compare myself like that to say she is this and that i have none of that or this was killing me. So I looked at a photo I took of myself earlier this year and baby I was heavier so then I just said out loud I love you and said that i was not really that bad inside I had a genuine smile and a real genuine caring attitude look about me so I just said what would this world be like with me gone? the answer surprised me ---- a lot of dependent people would hurt and a genuine good person w0uld never ever be seen again --- ever and I thought that I want to see me around for a while longer a female because I love her and she has suffered so much its in her face- she needs me and I need her we are one and love each other as for the other hot bodies--- they come and go but I am on all the time
Lyndsey2u Lyndsey2u
61-65, T
2 Responses Nov 29, 2012

thanks i write from the heart i only know that to just write what is inside my brain my emotions my feelings can lead to other things i am tired not of the fight but some of them that try to beat me down and that makes me mad enough to love myself thankx , Lyns

good to hear
cmc xxx

hey that is seriously deep stuff
be happy with who you are
you need to be happy for yourself
then others can be ahppy with you