Cant Do It Anymore!!!!! Bye :'(

Im going back as a girl. My mom doesn't want me to be a boy im so depressed right now and I do wanna be alive I wanna die my life sucks. Why did God make me this way? I wanna be happy but I can't for 17 years I been unhappy this is my last day of feeling like this maybe I be gone tomorrow. I sorry if I let any one down i just can't do it thanks for the support everyone hehe :). Con-air out!!!!!
mikeymouse345 mikeymouse345
18-21, T
3 Responses May 4, 2012

Listen man... Ive held blades to my wrists and noose's around my neck with tears running down my face. I wished nothing more than to make the pain of beinin in this messed up body to go away. It wouldnt.... I continued through and pushed on and i promise its possibly. Continue on and IT DOES GET BETTER.

I'm FTM transgender my name is Salem and I'm Emo my parents don't accept me as their son so I went back to wearing girl clothes to make them happy and do that they can accept me. I guess things were better as a girl. I cut myself when I feel depressed anyway since Salem is long gone I'll try my best to be happy in this femine body that I'm in now. I was happy as Salem but those days are long gone :(

In truth, actually, you don't want to die. You just want to be saved.<br />
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Please read my previous comment posted on your first story.<br />
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Trying to go back to fitting in as a female will end up biting you in the butt later. Like you said, you want to be happy. In your previous story, you implied that being "happy" meant living as a boy. In that case, you need to try your best to stay strong and fight through the pain. You will come by many obstacles, just like the rest of us have/had during our transition. Just remember that you are not alone.

I do stay strong it just brings me down when my mom tells me that im not a boy and I need to start acting like a girl. I don't really have that much support at only on here and a few friends. But the worst thing is that im cutting myself

To find some support, I suggest going to YouTube and looking up some videos that other transguys have made. You can type in certain topics like "ftm parents" and stuff liike that. I find that it helps me. Just a suggestion.