All My Life

One day many many years ago my mother revealed to me an aspect of my history that I had never known before.

She was talking about when she was pregnant with me, where she lived, stc. Then she said that when I was born, she was so certain that I was going to be a girl that she hadn't thought about many boy names for me, but many girls names. I don't know how my name was actually chosen but it was. I have also known all my life that my mother would really like to have had a daughter, another discussion from years of living together.

I wonder what made her think she was going to have a girl? This was before ultrasounds, so maybe it was an old wives tale or "woman's intuition." She talked about certian cravings (ice cream) and the way I sat in her belly. Maybe that's it. Could it be possible that she had already picked up on my feminine nature in he womb. Or could it be that this expectation is what led me to develop the way I did (nature vs. nurture)?

I know from seeing baby pictures that maybe she was right that I was going to be a girl. My room painted in bright girl colors and my clothes were pink as a baby. I did wear girls clothes through out most of my younger years and she helped me with more appropriate choices as a pre-teen and teen. Many girl clothes or at least not too boyish looking.

I guess she really got her wish though. She knew it would be hard and tried to keep me safe yet experience who I was through out all the years we lived under the same roof. I was supposed to be a girl and well, that is how I turned out. Wish she was still here to talk with and learn more.

2B Natasha's Avatar
Josie06 Josie06
56-60, F
13 Responses Aug 5, 2010

Wow! That is so strange. I had exactly the same thing happen to me. However I am still pre op. Mum told me so many times how she was convinced I would be a girl, how they had been only thought of girls names etc and had started to buy girls . baby clothes. However to my knowledge I was never dressed as a girl, even though I had long curly hair and was frequently mistaken for a girl right for up to my teens. Again it was in the days before scans etc

Sounds familiar, Josie ... what you said is so much my experience too that I could have written it word for word. Amazing ...
Lee

Good insight! My parents, being medical pro's, knew I was a "boy", but by the time I was four I wanted to be a girl like my sister, and enjoyed her including me in playing dolls and treating me, before long, as her little sister. Not that at first my Dad especially, didn't try to involve me in regular boy activities, but I didn't like them, did badly because I was always small. And besides, once by five when my sister let me wear dresses and panties when we played Barbie's or just played around the house, I always just felt like a girl. Because of transgender awareness, my parents begin helping me young. Talking together and expressing our ideas openly, will I believe, continue to expand the knowledge of gender identity vs. birth "defects." Yes, I'm very happy now to be the young woman I always knew I was. Now, life is normal for me; with all the challenges it brings!

Jackieperson9

My mom thought I was going to be a girl too when I was in the womb. She even thought of girl names for me. And quite recently, I have been having these transgender/feminine feelings inside me and I am somewhat in a state of confusion. I do not feel like a man at times but neither a woman. I wonder is it because I am too afraid to let these feminine behaviors come out or is it really wrong for me? It has left me quite paranoid as of late. The thing that confuses me most is that aside from not being too into sports and playing as a mom like a few times when I was 3, I never really felt like I was a girl inside. I didn't like to be like all the other guys at the time but it was more because they acted like douchebags rather than simply because they were male. These thought confuse me.

I've always believed people to be their hearts. I never really got into the whole "gender-bias" thing that's been sweeping America since its inception. For me, crochet is as relaxing as beer, so why not do both? Besides, gender roles are social creations and have no real bearing on anything other than perceptions. I hope the world becomes blind again, because only then will they see (and stop torturing SLGBT people!) {S= 'straight' who came up with these flippin definitions for us all !??!???}

My parents had wanted me to be a boy. My dad basically treated me like his son, which i thoroughly enjoyed as i had no interest whatsoever in "girly" things, and i had an older sister who tried to sway my opinion on that. Ive always wondered why i wasnt born physically male...

Sounds like the opposite of many of us here. I would love to hear more ...

You sound like a wonderful lady...I wish you well.

Sounds a lot like me, Josie ... I could have written what you said because yes my Mother was certain I was going to be a girl too. So I guess I could say she got her wish.

it was much the same for me. I think that it has much to do with hormones during conception. My first wife used my transgender as an excuse for divorce. the truth was she was a tramp. we had 2 kids, a girl and a "gurl". My daughter was raised by her mother, who told her about me at age 6. My son (gurl) was adopted. I did not see him again until his early 20's. At which point he revealed he was trangendered too. Today the kids and i have a great relationship. My genetic daughter loves and accepts both of us. so as Shakespere once said "alls well that ends well"

That's awesome! I am glad you are happy hon!

Annaheart, I'm Jackieperson9, transsexual young woman looking for friends, as suggested by others. Are you like me? Want to be friends? Please read my TG profile.

Have a pretty day,

Jackieperson9

Good on your mother Josie and wish you the best.

You had such a intuitive mother. That's great. *.*

Mothers know Josie your very lucky to have such a wonderful mother.