I Wonder What Defines A Trans.

I am a female to male trans, though I haven't gone through with the surgery yet, and I'm not sure if I'm going to.

I believe that being trans is just like being gay, you can be like that from birth. I was always the biggest tomboy growing up, I hated dresses, didn't care about my hair or my face, I loved video games, live action role plays, exploring through the woods, pretty much anything guys usually liked to do.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I started considering, maybe I really was transgender, and couldn't change it. I had always thought about how great it would be to become a guy when I was young, I didn't know there was actually a procedure to go through with it, so I just continued my life being as feminine as I could be while still being myself. I honestly just thought I was a really butch lesbian.

One of my biggest dreams has always been to be someone's husband, to treat a lady the way she deserves to be treated, to love her through all her faults, and even to love her for those faults. I also want to be the main provider for the households, but these days women are becoming more and more independent, so I'd be willing to adjust the end a bit.

I'm just confused on what really defines a transgender. I'm as masculine as it gets, my dream's to be in the military some day, and my mentality is somewhat like a guy's too. I'm laid back, don't really like going through huge lists of stuff to do, and I've also never really felt comfortable in a woman's body.

How do we know for sure? And should that justify changing your body and possibly ruining all of the connections you have with your family and some friends? I have to hide almost everything about myself around my family, they believe I'm simply a tomboy that's straight, because they believe that homosexuality is a mental illness, I can't even begin to imagine how they feel about transgenders.

It's a rough life, being more male than female, especially when you're in a neighborhood where it's almost unheard of. Now that I've met some people like me, it's almost just as bad as hiding it. They hate people who hide in the closet, and it's always awkward because I'm pretty much in a glass closet that everyone can see through, yet I'm still in there. Is it so wrong that I love my family too much to completely ruin their views of me? It would make them all miserable to find out, and I'd be shunned from some of the only people I have.

I wish being a transgender was more accepted, it would make things much more easier.
WorldlyParadox WorldlyParadox
18-21, T
Jan 10, 2013