Well... some while ago now I wrote 'Hope'. At the time I had not pulled for 26 days. I have now today, got to the big C ie 100 days. I have to say that some days are better, some worse. But there are now reasons for me to keep going. A lot of my hair that had been pulled out is growing in, from half to two inches long, making my hair look much thicker than it has for years. It's a nice thought to feel that fewer people will be looking at my hair, wondering about it, talking about it. Perhaps that's just the paranoia speaking though... perhaps they never do! The best days are when I realise that I haven't even thought about it for days. The worst days are when I catch myself just thinking and thinking about it and running my hands through my hair. At that point, I have found it best to comb my hair gently but thoroughly. Once in order, I'm more loath to start fiddling again. Really, I wanted to write this second account to encourage people to pick a day, catalogue it and try to stop pulling. It helps to write everything down. Honestly. There's something about seeing these things in black and white. Every day that you go without pulling, by writing it down, it feels like an achievement and something to be proud of. It also tends to keep you honest. You don't lie to yourself and you can see how well you're doing. Anyway, I hope everything goes well for you - I feel a million miles away from where I was 100 days ago, though I know that everything goes in swings and roundabouts. Tomorrow I could be back to where I started but I know now that if I do lapse, I will try to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Fingers crossed.

anxiousg anxiousg
Mar 1, 2009