Roll On Highway, Roll On Along...

The worst experience I have come to know is reuniting with my trucker [we'll call him Fireplug] and then as soon as I am used to having him in my arms, I have to say goodbye again.

To establish some back-story and brag on my baby a little... We met online through OkCupid in January. We messaged back and forth until we exchanged numbers. We quickly decided through our continual texting that we wanted to know more about each other and go on a date February 8th. We met a halfway point and oh my gosh, y'all, I completely fell for him. I wanted to kiss him right away but I didn't want to seem like a floozy. We held hands as he drove, and after an amazing date, we went to his house to let out the dog. On his back porch, overlooking the lake, I kissed him. Later, after watching Dr. Who and High School of the Dead, we were cuddling and I told him all about my rocky past with abuse and trust issues. He told me his story and we kissed again. Then he told me he loved me. I said it as well, meaning every bit of it.

He makes me feel so loved, so appreciated, respected, safe, and like a goddess. He listens to me and can tell when something’s going on that I don’t want to bring up. I can talk about anything with him, and nothing is off limits. I love him with every ounce of my being, and I know the feeling’s mutual. We’ve been together four months, but we both feel like we are each others’ perfect mates.

When I met him, he was working as a delivery driver for Domino’s and wanted more out of life. He decided he was going to look into trucking school, but wanted my opinion on it. He warned me that it would be tough, but he’d always be coming home to me. In March, he finished school and signed on with a company that promised amazing things. He would have a dedicated route and work Monday-Friday with the weekends free. Awesome!

But then…

After his 4 day orientation, he had to do a 28 day training program. Then he would have to find a codriver to work with for his duration of employment. They took back their promise of a five day workweek and told him he may have to do OTR. That did NOT go over well. Toward the end of his orientation, he finally found a codriver and was put in a lane: he would do two week runs and then be home for one week. I can deal with that.

Once again, it was too good to be true.

When he got home, we went to Savannah, GA for a nice little romantic weekend and for his sister’s graduation. It was remarkable! I got to love on him and hold him again! It was simply perfect. We were inseparable the whole weekend. He was supposed to go back to work on Sunday night, but he couldn’t get in touch with his codriver or the fleet manager. He tried again Monday. No luck. It looked like he was going to have to find another company and do the whole thing over again. Finally, on Tuesday [today] he heard from his fleet manager. His codriver went to work with someone else, bumping my Fireplug out of a codriver AND out of a lane. So now everything is uncertain again. He leaves later tonight to join another driver, but he’s not sure when he’ll be back or what kind of shift he’ll be working. He could get into another lane, or he might even have to do OTR.

Needless to say, I’m freaking out. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Even pursuing a Ph. D is nothing compared to this. When he’s on the road, we can only text back and forth, which is better than nothing, but it still sucks. Every time I think about him being gone, it makes me incredibly sad. I mean, this is the early part of our relationship. It should be fun and lighthearted, but it’s stressful and upsetting. We’re still young [both in our 20s] and I want to have fun with him while we’re young, before we settle down and have kids.

I wouldn’t give him up for anything, though.

It’s just, when he’s getting ready to leave, I want to squeeze every second I can out of it before he goes. I let him know how proud I am of him and how I’ll always support him, but I know when he sees me upset over it, it affects him. I always break down before he leaves and the next week or two is absolute hell. I can’t eat, sleep, think, or anything. I feel pitiful, but it’s just how it is. I wish I knew how long he’ll be away. The uncertainty is killer.

Of course, my friends are tired of me talking about it. They don’t understand and they tell me to find another man who will be home. But that’s ridiculous. I’ve found my man and nothing, not even thousands of miles and weeks on the road will tear us apart.

His plan is to work for this company for a year, then find a local driving job where he can be home every night. I can’t wait.

Fireplug, I miss you and I can’t wait for your return. Drive safely and know that every mile you drive is a mile closer to being in my loving arms once again.

addysaurus addysaurus
18-21, F
1 Response May 15, 2012

damn that is crazy bc I met mine offline too and we did yahoo IM for awhile and then eventually text and talk then we met on May 6th, 2010 and its now been over 2 years.