Life Is Hard Without Him

My husband just started this Truck driving Job and is gone on his six week training it will be two months before I see him again, I spend most days crying and waiting by the phone for a call that don't come often since he is working, I worried about his safety is he eating enough, I also worry how I will get through all that is expected of me, I don't know how long it will take for this to feel better, I feel like my husband chose a truck job over family, But yet I don't because I know he was laid off and there are no jobs to be found and we need income so I understand what he is doing for us, My emotions are all over the place not knowing what to feel or even think. I feel really bad if I don't support his efforts, Then I feel really scared for what could or may happen or can happen, Then I feel angry because he seems happy and excited to this and I feel he should be more caring about my emotions, went he calls its a short call to update me, And he seems excited and wants to get off the phone so he can call other guys from his class, Then I feel guilty because I am angry.   Then I get upset because things keep changing on went he will home seems to get longer and longer, Hours are spend in a hotel doing nothing went he could be home with our family I feel like the truck co he is with is controlling our life. My husband just don't understand why I am crying or why I have these fears and I don't want him to think I don't have faith him because I do, I just don't know what to do or think I am so upset I hope the hurt and pain will go away soon and this gets better,   My husband left with us being behind on our rent and other bills, he took only $100 with him for this 6-10 week trip I know he thinks I will come up with something but while he is on this training he only makes $275 a week which won't even cover our bills let alone food or money for him, I know in the end of the training and he goes on the road the money will be better but I am so stressed about this training time with no money,Stressed with him gone because I miss him, stressed about us as a couple scared for him I feel like a time bomb ticking Please anyone do you have advice   
debbie13 debbie13
51-55
2 Responses Feb 15, 2009

It's not an easy job. Being a truckers wife ain't any easier. I averaged about 3,000 miles a week or more and my home time was 36 hours every week. Just long enough to unwind and feel normal before going back out.<br />
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You just have to get your mind right. A lot of weight is on your shoulders and it's not easy.<br />
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But even with the BS, I'm thinking of going back out. Some days I miss it. And other days, I question my sanity.

The money doesn't get much better after training. mine started with swift and they screwed him out of 20% of his miles and then told him he had to drive 10000 miles a month or be fired and yet left him sitting for days at a time with no runs, then he went with US xpress and the pay is a bit better but he spends more on food and books to keep him entertained that he sends home. He is still making next to nothing and has been out there almost a year now. All the companies promise them the world and then none of them seem to deliver. Mine keeps in touch with all the guys from school and talks to other guys he has met out there and it is the same everywhere unless you are an owner op or have like 5 or more years out they are all broke. The crying well i still do that everyday after a year and his son is suffering even more. He is acting out and in therapy. I'm sorry i am bitter and I hate this industry