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My Little Story

I'm very glad to be here and share alittle about myself to you all! My name is Serena  im 16 and in March 25 will be 17 i did my age as 18 when i joined,because i was restricted to what i can do,i'm half Chinese and half Japenese..my parants and my 6 sisters and 2 brothers are born in United kingdom but the rest of my relatives live in Shanghai, China.

Ok!! here comes the hard stuff..when I was born, doctors weren't sure if I was a boy with a small penis or a girl with a large clitoris that had a small vaginal opening. Either way, my body wasn't normal in the medical sense. My parents were told that my body could be fixed,and they was told i had to be fixed for me to live a normal life. The surgery to normalize my genitals should be done quickly, so that I would have no memory of it while i was very young. My parants were told as well not to tell anyone about how i was born. I would be fine, they were reassured, as long as they kept the truth from me.

"There were always men in white coats parading through the exam room to look at my private parts.They often talked about my body as if my hearing wasn't normal either, never talking to me, only about me.

My earliest memories are about being different, a freak that needed to be fixed. I learned early that whatever was wrong with my body shouldn't be talked about. Constantly hearing, ( You're fine ) you're normal, it never made me feel that way.
I learned to live with my body the best i could drowning in dishonesty while striving to be normal, I am only now beginning to shed the shame and secrecy in my post.I also now understand that cutting genitals or being operated on doesn't change or make our gender. I know that repeated childhood traumas, and secrecy and shame shape us as we grow into adults. I know there is more value to our bodies than the ability to have babies. Consent and choice are taken away when early genital surgeries are performed on other intersex people.I also know that adults who escaped early genital surgery experienced their own trauma of growing up different but for me reading other peoples stories here and on the net..i am thankful my parants never let no one took a knife to my genitals
Secondly, the medical community views the world in terms of normal and abnormal. Anything abnormal must be corrected. I feel this is very wrong,I feel the medical community should let us have the chose to either be operated on or not be operated on... I've already suffered from bullies at school and out of school to.Yes it does hurt me very deeply being treated badly by those that do not understand me,I am very lucky that i have a large loving family that suport me,my mother to is always there for me as i do have many bad days more so than good ones.
I'm not sure what life will bring me,but i will do my up most to rise above all that life brings my way.

Thanks for reading my story

Serena W :)
princesserena princesserena 18-21, F 54 Responses Mar 3, 2012

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I had surgery at birth. Yes I agree that we should have a choice. I have very feminine emotions and manly testosterone. I can pass for male or female in the face.I don't trust man, yeah one of those. My parents don't know I know lol. My penis doesn't look like there's and IM not retarded wtf lol. But IM 5'11 fit super gorgeous and my ovaries stay fresh no access but no matter what, we should always know because our minds carry hella lot emotions of man and woman if we don't know we will always think we gay. I am a girl yes I have a penis yes I am feminine yes I obtained more of a Women's mind but. I like the decision they made. IM emotionally untouchable man. GIRL POWER!!!

I think the coolest thing of being an hermaphadite is that you choose what gender you want to be. :) xx

Support will always help I have no idea of what would have happened to the one I love if her mother and grandparents had not support her and allowed her to be as she felt in the home and back yard.

Not sure how there felt when we became friends, but I know it took a lot of trust on their parts when I was told the truth at age 12 and we never looked back the only thing I am sorry for instead of going to U of C she joined the USMC and I have no idea how and was killed in Viet nam but I guess she was happy she found me there and we had great last few weeks until I was shot down and she was killed the next day.

Your beautiful. Don't let anyone make u feel less than you are. Life is what we make it to be so don't let some idiots make you feel bad. Remember that. Take care and God bless :)

I'm glad you would share something like this... and glad I got to read it.

its cool you have some identity. my past is so shrouded in mystery, but my family often talked about me in the same manner as well, saying i was a girl around my mom and a boy around my dad but never anything to me, only when they thought i was asleep. my earliest memories too, are of not fitting in to the mold that was cast for me. my whole life i had to deal with this alone, and most of that life i was fighting for scraps in the street. only recently has it began to change, and to what i cant be sure, i have tried but i find nothing thats like me, in all history. rather a combination of like several recorded cases, and even this falls short of what i am. i envy you because you are pretty, in the last few months my body has changed in ways that steal the strength i had used to cope with it, and my life. and even worse, now recently im even more dispondant sexually which was my mainstay of self identity for years. i dont know what to do, people see me and judge me, and seem uninterested in me. i cant blame them really, i repulse myself. somehow through all this misery i seem to have to deal with i too have an inner light that somehow shines so brightly, and it gives me hope, to some extent. but i find it so hard to try to keep up the fight, i just want to rest. but there is no rest. and short of my fairy tale fantasies that i truly believe in most of the time , there is no hope.i feel im running out of time, on empty. i know these are the result of hormones but theres no recourse available to me, my parents have put me in a position where they depend on me for almost everything and i havent the time or resource to devote to myself, and im not sure whats happening to me, only that im changing somehow. i realize your much younger than i am but i actually am maturing now in many ways i should have years ago. unlike you, i have no support or love, i am completely alone except for a few who do not understand and seem to not be able to let themselves believe it, despite what they say, i feel as if they merely humor me.

NEVER SEEN A REAL ONE....SHOW US A PIC SO WE KNOW YOIUR REAL

Awesome

Would you email me Serena derek.nelson@smail.anc.edu

It hurts me when people who think they are normal and healthy begin to criticize and judge people who are not exactly like them. Anything that isn't like them, or what they think should be normal, they hate and judge, and it is so totally wrong. There is no such thing as "normal." Normal is just a point on a mathematical graph. It certainly has nothing to do with humanity. All of us look different. All of us talk differently and have different accents. All of us have different opinions and beliefs. There is no one that is perfectly healthy. Everyone has a physical health and mental health "illness". There are just some people who have been diagnosed with a health issue, and others that have not been diagnosed. And most people are in complete denial of themselves because they fear that if they are not normal and healthy like what is required by society, they will be hated and shunned. Nobody is perfect. Everyone is different. That is what makes us human. These differences make us all beautiful. It doesn't matter how a person is born. It doesn't matter if you are tall or short, skinny, fat, muscular, the color of your hair, eyes or skin. It doesn't matter what country you come from, what language you speak, what culture you belong to, what your religion is or what your personal opinions are. It doesn't matter if you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or whatever. It doesn't matter if you are able to walk well or need a cane or wheelchair. It doesn't matter what your body features are. It doesn't matter if you are male or female or intersexed or have any "abnormalities." We are all human. We are all unique. And I love everyone because of these beautifully unique differences. If God creates every snowflake to be distinctively unique, we should also be so wonderfully unique as human beings. We were not created on an assembly line like machines. We are not intended to all be the same. We have no right to judge or condemn anyone for their differences. We should just love one another, and if we could all do that, the world would be a much better place.

If we were friends, I would support you too ^-^ I think you're a good person

It is funny how we humans can be so cruel yet so stupid, We call the so called mistakes or birth defects a disease or make fun of call them out casts or just because they are indifferent they don't belong. yet we look for these same indifferences in nature and call it beautiful. look at the 4 leaf clover, or the Melanistic Tiger one of the most beautiful mistakes of nature. we collect these things and call them beautiful yet we can not look at these same mistakes or indifferences in our own kind and call them beautiful. I know it is easier said than done but look up these beautiful mistakes of nature and just think just because you are different does not mean your not beautiful it makes you special.

Your story is amazing u r berry strong and I am glad I got to read about it I would love to know more if you wish to discuss it

I am not a hermaphrodite. I am just a guy that likes to learn more about this world.
Im sorry to all about how close minded people can be. Claiming that you where abnormal, I as well as many others see this as wrong. You sound like a strong person and I admire that you are able to share this with use. Enjoy your life as you should :)

Wow, you sound like a very strong individual - and you will grow stronger! Thank you for sharing. You are a great person and have unlimited potential! You are a beautiful person!

I was similar to you when I was born. A penis/clitoris, no scrotum, a single internal testicle and an ovary, no vagina or uterus. My mum refused to allow surgery when I was an infant; she didn't want to force me into being a gender that might be wrong. I'm glad she did that; they were going to make me a girl but I am so NOT a girl. I also feel very strongly that it is wrong for the medical profession to force their ideas of what is "normal" on other people's bodies without their consent. I did have surgery (to make my genitalia look more male) but only when I was old enough to say that's what I wanted. My mum rocks.

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a strong person. I believe that when you get right down to it, there honestly is no "normal/abnormal" in life (there is so much diversity). There are just idiots that can't get past "I am, so you should be too". As a transgendered person I can understand some of what you have gone through. Some of our most educated individuals (doctors) can be our most ignorant. I am sorry for all of the idiots in your life and I hope that you know that they don't matter, so neither does what they say. I wish you nothing but happiness and peace in life. Stay strong.

I totally related to everything you have written about. I too was known as a freak but my momma was strong and did not give in to my "normalization" surgery. She believed that there was a reason for the way I came out and wasn't about to mess with what God has given me.

you are beautiful just the way you are never let anyone else tell you any different

How big is your penis?

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you find happiness. I have more personal questions, but i know that you are uncomfortable with that, so i will refrain from asking. :)

Serena I am so glad you are able to talk about it. I think having both sexes should be celebrated not be ashamed. Bless you. Tim. If you need a friend.write

You are a great treasure dear, and you will get through this time of life and be adored by those who appreciate your uniqueness!

You are very brave to endure. I hope all goes well for you.

be yourself

I don't want to nor do I intend to come across as spiritual or religious by this statement. <br />
<br />
My grandmother, who this year has lived to be 100 years of age, taught me so much about love throughout my life told me this once and it has stuck with me for many years now. It is "God makes no mistakes!" <br />
<br />
By that, I am trying to express to you that when someone from the "normal" (and none of us are "normal") side of life tells you or tries to make you feel that you are "abnormal" because your body doesn't fit into their idea of what is correct they are the one that is mistaken! Always remember that God made me the way that I am for a reason and that I am proud to be one of His wonderful, special creations. <br />
<br />
I think that you are handling the hardships that others have put upon you in a very mature and level headed way. I hope that you can always find happiness in your life and realize that there is someone out there for everyone. Keep you head held high and proud because you are a very special and intended creation of our higher power.

Hi Princesserena great post.I was born a male intersex person due to male defromities but learned to live with them. While not easy been married to a wonderful woman,so don't let people hurt you more than they do.Sure glad the dr.s didn't cut on you guess I was also lucky to be spared.Good luck

H i Princesserena

so now your officially a woman?

What an incredible story...you are very brave to share this with the world...thanks for being so open with us...in fact my gf has a rather large clitoris..and a vagina...she has male and female tendency's. I enjoy our intimate time together...she excited me like no other has everdone...we have an amazing sex life...I hope you can find someone that can treat like a person and not a condition...again thanks for sharing...