My Little Story

I'm very glad to be here and share alittle about myself to you all! My name is Serena  im 16 and in March 25 will be 17 i did my age as 18 when i joined,because i was restricted to what i can do,i'm half Chinese and half parants and my 6 sisters and 2 brothers are born in United kingdom but the rest of my relatives live in Shanghai, China.

Ok!! here comes the hard stuff..when I was born, doctors weren't sure if I was a boy with a small penis or a girl with a large clitoris that had a small vaginal opening. Either way, my body wasn't normal in the medical sense. My parents were told that my body could be fixed,and they was told i had to be fixed for me to live a normal life. The surgery to normalize my genitals should be done quickly, so that I would have no memory of it while i was very young. My parants were told as well not to tell anyone about how i was born. I would be fine, they were reassured, as long as they kept the truth from me.

"There were always men in white coats parading through the exam room to look at my private parts.They often talked about my body as if my hearing wasn't normal either, never talking to me, only about me.

My earliest memories are about being different, a freak that needed to be fixed. I learned early that whatever was wrong with my body shouldn't be talked about. Constantly hearing, ( You're fine ) you're normal, it never made me feel that way.
I learned to live with my body the best i could drowning in dishonesty while striving to be normal, I am only now beginning to shed the shame and secrecy in my post.I also now understand that cutting genitals or being operated on doesn't change or make our gender. I know that repeated childhood traumas, and secrecy and shame shape us as we grow into adults. I know there is more value to our bodies than the ability to have babies. Consent and choice are taken away when early genital surgeries are performed on other intersex people.I also know that adults who escaped early genital surgery experienced their own trauma of growing up different but for me reading other peoples stories here and on the net..i am thankful my parants never let no one took a knife to my genitals
Secondly, the medical community views the world in terms of normal and abnormal. Anything abnormal must be corrected. I feel this is very wrong,I feel the medical community should let us have the chose to either be operated on or not be operated on... I've already suffered from bullies at school and out of school to.Yes it does hurt me very deeply being treated badly by those that do not understand me,I am very lucky that i have a large loving family that suport me,my mother to is always there for me as i do have many bad days more so than good ones.
I'm not sure what life will bring me,but i will do my up most to rise above all that life brings my way.

Thanks for reading my story

Serena W :)
princesserena princesserena
18-21, F
48 Responses Mar 3, 2012

You are beautiful Serena! Life is good when you look for the goodness. Ignore the negativity of those who are themselves haunted by fear. True love is the love of the unique, the individual, the extra-ordinary, the one and only you, the one and only me. Following your feelings of what you want and like you will find your own path. There is a loving, creative force out there, even in there :-) And the love he/she/it has for you is without end and without limitations. You are special and loved just the way you are. No more and no less "normal" than any other creature in this beautiful and magical world. Let no man cage you but be free as a bird.

k i k kevinz30 text me hun lets talk ur beautiful how u r no matter what

it iso k I married one and we loved each other very much till her death at age 19 in viet nam

I had surgery at birth. Yes I agree that we should have a choice. I have very feminine emotions and manly testosterone. I can pass for male or female in the face.I don't trust man, yeah one of those. My parents don't know I know lol. My penis doesn't look like there's and IM not retarded wtf lol. But IM 5'11 fit super gorgeous and my ovaries stay fresh no access but no matter what, we should always know because our minds carry hella lot emotions of man and woman if we don't know we will always think we gay. I am a girl yes I have a penis yes I am feminine yes I obtained more of a Women's mind but. I like the decision they made. IM emotionally untouchable man. GIRL POWER!!!

Support will always help I have no idea of what would have happened to the one I love if her mother and grandparents had not support her and allowed her to be as she felt in the home and back yard.

Not sure how there felt when we became friends, but I know it took a lot of trust on their parts when I was told the truth at age 12 and we never looked back the only thing I am sorry for instead of going to U of C she joined the USMC and I have no idea how and was killed in Viet nam but I guess she was happy she found me there and we had great last few weeks until I was shot down and she was killed the next day.

Your beautiful. Don't let anyone make u feel less than you are. Life is what we make it to be so don't let some idiots make you feel bad. Remember that. Take care and God bless :)

I'm glad you would share something like this... and glad I got to read it.

its cool you have some identity. my past is so shrouded in mystery, but my family often talked about me in the same manner as well, saying i was a girl around my mom and a boy around my dad but never anything to me, only when they thought i was asleep. my earliest memories too, are of not fitting in to the mold that was cast for me. my whole life i had to deal with this alone, and most of that life i was fighting for scraps in the street. only recently has it began to change, and to what i cant be sure, i have tried but i find nothing thats like me, in all history. rather a combination of like several recorded cases, and even this falls short of what i am. i envy you because you are pretty, in the last few months my body has changed in ways that steal the strength i had used to cope with it, and my life. and even worse, now recently im even more dispondant sexually which was my mainstay of self identity for years. i dont know what to do, people see me and judge me, and seem uninterested in me. i cant blame them really, i repulse myself. somehow through all this misery i seem to have to deal with i too have an inner light that somehow shines so brightly, and it gives me hope, to some extent. but i find it so hard to try to keep up the fight, i just want to rest. but there is no rest. and short of my fairy tale fantasies that i truly believe in most of the time , there is no hope.i feel im running out of time, on empty. i know these are the result of hormones but theres no recourse available to me, my parents have put me in a position where they depend on me for almost everything and i havent the time or resource to devote to myself, and im not sure whats happening to me, only that im changing somehow. i realize your much younger than i am but i actually am maturing now in many ways i should have years ago. unlike you, i have no support or love, i am completely alone except for a few who do not understand and seem to not be able to let themselves believe it, despite what they say, i feel as if they merely humor me.


Would you email me Serena

It hurts me when people who think they are normal and healthy begin to criticize and judge people who are not exactly like them. Anything that isn't like them, or what they think should be normal, they hate and judge, and it is so totally wrong. There is no such thing as "normal." Normal is just a point on a mathematical graph. It certainly has nothing to do with humanity. All of us look different. All of us talk differently and have different accents. All of us have different opinions and beliefs. There is no one that is perfectly healthy. Everyone has a physical health and mental health "illness". There are just some people who have been diagnosed with a health issue, and others that have not been diagnosed. And most people are in complete denial of themselves because they fear that if they are not normal and healthy like what is required by society, they will be hated and shunned. Nobody is perfect. Everyone is different. That is what makes us human. These differences make us all beautiful. It doesn't matter how a person is born. It doesn't matter if you are tall or short, skinny, fat, muscular, the color of your hair, eyes or skin. It doesn't matter what country you come from, what language you speak, what culture you belong to, what your religion is or what your personal opinions are. It doesn't matter if you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or whatever. It doesn't matter if you are able to walk well or need a cane or wheelchair. It doesn't matter what your body features are. It doesn't matter if you are male or female or intersexed or have any "abnormalities." We are all human. We are all unique. And I love everyone because of these beautifully unique differences. If God creates every snowflake to be distinctively unique, we should also be so wonderfully unique as human beings. We were not created on an assembly line like machines. We are not intended to all be the same. We have no right to judge or condemn anyone for their differences. We should just love one another, and if we could all do that, the world would be a much better place.

If we were friends, I would support you too ^-^ I think you're a good person

It is funny how we humans can be so cruel yet so stupid, We call the so called mistakes or birth defects a disease or make fun of call them out casts or just because they are indifferent they don't belong. yet we look for these same indifferences in nature and call it beautiful. look at the 4 leaf clover, or the Melanistic Tiger one of the most beautiful mistakes of nature. we collect these things and call them beautiful yet we can not look at these same mistakes or indifferences in our own kind and call them beautiful. I know it is easier said than done but look up these beautiful mistakes of nature and just think just because you are different does not mean your not beautiful it makes you special.

Your story is amazing u r berry strong and I am glad I got to read about it I would love to know more if you wish to discuss it

I am not a hermaphrodite. I am just a guy that likes to learn more about this world.
Im sorry to all about how close minded people can be. Claiming that you where abnormal, I as well as many others see this as wrong. You sound like a strong person and I admire that you are able to share this with use. Enjoy your life as you should :)

Wow, you sound like a very strong individual - and you will grow stronger! Thank you for sharing. You are a great person and have unlimited potential! You are a beautiful person!

I was similar to you when I was born. A penis/clitoris, no scrotum, a single internal testicle and an ovary, no vagina or uterus. My mum refused to allow surgery when I was an infant; she didn't want to force me into being a gender that might be wrong. I'm glad she did that; they were going to make me a girl but I am so NOT a girl. I also feel very strongly that it is wrong for the medical profession to force their ideas of what is "normal" on other people's bodies without their consent. I did have surgery (to make my genitalia look more male) but only when I was old enough to say that's what I wanted. My mum rocks.

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a strong person. I believe that when you get right down to it, there honestly is no "normal/abnormal" in life (there is so much diversity). There are just idiots that can't get past "I am, so you should be too". As a transgendered person I can understand some of what you have gone through. Some of our most educated individuals (doctors) can be our most ignorant. I am sorry for all of the idiots in your life and I hope that you know that they don't matter, so neither does what they say. I wish you nothing but happiness and peace in life. Stay strong.

I totally related to everything you have written about. I too was known as a freak but my momma was strong and did not give in to my "normalization" surgery. She believed that there was a reason for the way I came out and wasn't about to mess with what God has given me.

you are beautiful just the way you are never let anyone else tell you any different

How big is your penis?

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you find happiness. I have more personal questions, but i know that you are uncomfortable with that, so i will refrain from asking. :)

Serena I am so glad you are able to talk about it. I think having both sexes should be celebrated not be ashamed. Bless you. Tim. If you need a friend.write

You are a great treasure dear, and you will get through this time of life and be adored by those who appreciate your uniqueness!

You are very brave to endure. I hope all goes well for you.

be yourself

I don't want to nor do I intend to come across as spiritual or religious by this statement. <br />
<br />
My grandmother, who this year has lived to be 100 years of age, taught me so much about love throughout my life told me this once and it has stuck with me for many years now. It is "God makes no mistakes!" <br />
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By that, I am trying to express to you that when someone from the "normal" (and none of us are "normal") side of life tells you or tries to make you feel that you are "abnormal" because your body doesn't fit into their idea of what is correct they are the one that is mistaken! Always remember that God made me the way that I am for a reason and that I am proud to be one of His wonderful, special creations. <br />
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I think that you are handling the hardships that others have put upon you in a very mature and level headed way. I hope that you can always find happiness in your life and realize that there is someone out there for everyone. Keep you head held high and proud because you are a very special and intended creation of our higher power.

so now your officially a woman?

What an incredible are very brave to share this with the world...thanks for being so open with fact my gf has a rather large clitoris..and a vagina...she has male and female tendency's. I enjoy our intimate time together...she excited me like no other has everdone...we have an amazing sex life...I hope you can find someone that can treat like a person and not a condition...again thanks for sharing...

I am very glad to hear that your parents did not allow any surgery. I am totally against any unnecessary surgery, especially genital surgery including circumcision of boys and girls. The only time any surgery should be performed on a person's genitals if it is to prevent something that could be life threatening. It is so good to hear you are proud of who you are which is as it should be. I am wishing you continued health and happiness.

Never change for anyone herms are beautiful and amasing

i think you are very special...

I just read your story and thanks for sharing, Serena. As you now can tell, besides your family, you now have many friends here as well.

you sound like a very wise and special person .. do not let bullies get you downe they pick on anyone to make themselves feel better ( a sign of a very immature person ) <br />
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you are very lucky that your parents did not let doctors sway them to change you, because it sounds like you are very in touch with who you really are and you can make the choice of how you wish to live your life and have a very happy future no matter what direction you choose to go <br />
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please add me as a friend i would love to hear more from you

i think your an amazing person just the way you are ;)

you have an incredible story. thanks for sharing

Thank you**and for being friends to ..^_^

does that mean you have periods and erections?

Um i guess

Having extra equipment doesn't make you homosexual, so never let anybody tell you different. It is true you won't be able to conceive children, but you can always adopt children if you choose to do so. You will eventually find a man who is understanding and will embrace your sexuality.

I am just like everyone else**just little different that's how i see things.I might be able to have a baby but with help *(n_n)* but that is future right now i want to just enjoy life.

doctors today do not have that right and i am glad<br />
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but many time i wonder how things would have turned out if the one i loved had of been given the right to be her<br />
<br />
we had a hard walk in high school and our fear always was someone would find out the truth about my wife<br />
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and i saw her go from a very unsure boy in 8 th grade to the most beauthfull person i had ever know<br />
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we were just starting to become real adults when she was killed a littleover age 19

I wish time go back and you are with her again**but that's impossible..before i was taken out of school and being home schooled,i to had bad time with other pupils when i was younger.I cannot ever forget but i do try with help to move on.You're story is very heart break because you both loved each other as i can see that when i read you're posts about her and how you feel today :)

Thank you for you're post as it is a blessing to have you as my friend :P

Serena, If it hasn't been said, you are very wise for being so young. I hope that wisdom will carry you through the rest of your magnificent life. Thank you so much for sharing your story. People need to hear your words, and know that we aren't what others want, or expect us to be we are individuals created by our maker to bring the gifts we are to this world.<br />
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I am not inter sexed I am a non op m

:-) Hello** very nice meet you :&gt; and thank you for the post to..I am not that wise but umm**have good teacher in my mom who look after me and teach me all i need to know.I was happy to post some of my story but not happy that people can post rude sexual posts :( i not understand why they do such thing and ask me very private question i wont reply to.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that only think with their sex organs! And that saddens me, not just for you having to put up with it (ignoring it is all you can do, or you can block the offensive ones). But they can't see that there is more to life then just sex. We as humans are sexual creatures, but we are also of a higher moral value and thinking people. When some jerk only looks at you as a possible sex friend. Think it a compliment, but think them ignorant, for not first wanting to get to know you and others before they begin a that kind of bravado!

Oh, and your mom, has done you well, give her a huge hug for me!

I do find it very hard when people post rude or in a sexual way to me on my does confuss me alot.I sometimes don't know how respond to organs yes i think you're right in that statement seem some just have a brain that's in their pants very sad.They do not realise i am a very young teen and i be honest i have never come across this kind of thing before.I do get confussed not knowing how to deal with such postings :(...Maybe thats all I'm worth is just a thing created for sex as my heart and feelings don't matter.

I will for you ^__- We are brought up to respect our parants i guess if she saw what was posted to me she would be upset and want me to leave this place..But she does not know I'm here :)

This sadly is the danger with kids on the internet. There are predators out there wanting to take advantage of you. Know that this is their creapy, abusive, vulgar way and has nothing to do with you. They would at that way to a lamp post if it could wear a skirt and high heels. Some just think that being manly is to be sexual, they don't have a clue! Just be who you are, ignore, delete the comments with out concern and block anyone who is persistent and won't respect you as a person.

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There is no such thing as normal. What is normal for 1 person is abnormal for the next.I do not have the physical characteristics of a hermaphrodite, however my brain is truely gender neutral.I have been told more than once ' you are the most understanding feeling man I have ever met'. There are several reasons for this , some of which I have written about in posts here.Do not let others tell you who you are or what you should be.<br />
I am here if you ever want to talk.<br />
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Be at peace<br />

Cool** hello John and i think we are all made how we are for reasons that people not understand..even i don't grasp it all :) Most of the time i am me a girl** but now and then i feel like a boy then i get all mixed up inside..guess hormones i alway's put it down simply to this haha.Thank you for the friendship and soon i will read some of you're posts when have more time to do so :&gt;

I think ppl, society and others cant make decision for what u r, :) <br />
God make u more special than other, be proud ^ ^

*(&gt;_&lt;)* Thank you^^i'm proud that i am me..We are all created special individuals and have a purpose &gt;_

I think you are wise beyond your years, and am so relieved that the medics did not have their way with you. As you say, you cannot change someone's gender identity by changing their genitals. Bullies seek out anyone who is different ~ in any way!<br />
Gender is not a matter of black and white, but a rainbow spectrum.

Like! Like! Like! In all ways! You've said precisely what I would have! And, I agree that the OP is very wise beyond her years - more than many people get at any time in their lives!

I have good mother that teach me well,i'm not that wise or perfect in many way.I like you're [ Gender is not a matter of black and white, but a rainbow spectrum ] i've never thought of it that way before :P

You're extremely fortunate to be born in this day and age with broad-minded parents not swayed by medical opinion. Back when I was born, people like you and me(yes I was born intersex) had to be 'fixed'. Sadly, this still continues too often these days. Thank you for sharing and I wish you all good fortune

I'm happy for the kind responce to my story &gt;_&lt; ive been reading many other stories of intersex people and how their lives have been sad living with much abuse.I'm just greatful as you have put it [fixed] that i was not and my parants let me have my own choice because it is my life after all :)

I have had to go through things that make people in general look like monsters themselves. It's the way people view what is the "norm" in society in that if it doesn't fit into their "white-picket-fenced" world then it must be cast out and thought of as Abnormal not taking into account that we are people with feelings and humanity and need to be treated as such. You have posted an elegant writing and I could not have said it any better then you. You are just one of many examples out there that I am talking about ..... A HUMAN BEING. Thank you kindly for helping to represent us with your words. xx oo Stephanie

I don't have any problems about myself and how i have been born.Funny thing is,it is society that makes the problems we are human beings just like any other person..i've not had a bad life as im young soon be 17 so life has much to offer me and i have all suport from family and friends :) I'm very happy for your post *Stephanie* did not realise just how many other intersex people are in this site.

Well I think this EP site is a great forum to help explain just who we really are.

I hope so as i've seen certain person posting abuse towards one intersex women on here.

There is this one girl on EP who seems to think she knows all about us and posted a very hurtful posting that i had made my comments on and she thought I was losing it. I don't like the general public and their overall thought process on things, ideas, concepts, and living creatures that are not in the "norm".

I did read all those comments from you and another intersex lady..I take people as they are,and if they hurt me so what..they can just get a life or learn about certain matters that they don't understand.I saw that women i am friends with her i think^^ i see only way people can learn is to befriend us and listen to what we have to say.If they don't want to learn and post what ever,then so be it as what will they gain.Is it not right in saying..that errm!best show compassion to them that not understand and hope with friendships they will..I do not like to argue with people guess i would not ever win haha (n_n) I can only tell people what i know,thats about me my life at the moment.Guess i have much ahead of me lot of pain and joy mostly i hope.I did see a trans person post on here..I did get little upset as this transsexual was not this upsets me*strange*

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I don't think that the medical community has the "right" to change anyone without the persons consent, and never should operate on any child unless it is life threatening. You are the way you are supposed to be!! I know for a fact that everyone is beautiful. I know your parents did you a enourmous favour by not letting the dr change you. You should be proud of who you are and never forget that. It is so fantastic you have support from your family, I never understood why bullies exsist other than the only way they feel good about themselves is to put others down to make them feel bigger, which they will never be.

I am very happy to have such wonderful parants,and sisters and brothers to.Now because i use to suffer in my education..My mom home schools me at home ever since.I'm doing much better this way.Thanks for your nice comment i was happy to read such kindness :)

Your welcome. No one should be treated any differently than anyone else. We are all the same we are all humans. and deserve to be all treated just like everyone else. Glad to see you are confident , and have made it through all te cruelty of school kids they can be so cruel.

Your story is sad but yet beautiful. I don't understand either why there has to be normal and then abnormal, its really stupid, I see everyone as different anyway, I see people as all being abnormal, because nobody is completely and utterly the same, people may try to be, but not one person is exactly the same as someone else, so normality doesn't really exist to me! ..<br />
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I don't understand why people make fun of others, I can see your a lovely person, there is and will never be anything wrong with you,, you are wonderful person just the way you are, and if anyone says different there life is just a meaningless existence, they cant hurt themselves so they will hurt others.<br />
stay strong, and I hope you have more happy days then bad ones

After reading others stories,i guess my life has not been so sad.I am very lucky that i look like any other would not know i was different unless i told people.I had it bad at school mainly by girls,but being asian i was also teased which did hurt me as im very shy and never want to hurt anyone.My mom took me out of school and i started home schooling at home.I'm happy as i have loads of friends that stick to me like glue haha,plus i have all my sisters and 2 brothers to look after me.

am so glad you have support! :) and many people might have had it worse then you, but you still feel what you feel so it doesn't matter, if you want to moan you moan :) because you have all the right to :) .. And by the way I support you :D

at least you get to have a choice or a say<br />
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which is better then many other around here my wife had no say it was was done for her and ou can change a body but you can not force the mind to changes from what it was suppose to be

I do agree about what you posted.I feel same that even if we have operations to correct our bodies when very young,we will always be what we are! and nothing i feel can ever take that away.I am very lucky that my parant's did not follow what the hospital wanted for me.I've read many horrible stories about other intersex people having these operations by force,not having the choice,i feel for them and make me very sad.