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The Pains That Come With Being a Twin.

 

Many of us who have brothers or sisters will know just how frustrating it can be to get along at times.    Well just imagine how much worse it would be to try and get along with a fraternal twin, and trust me I know, I’m talking from my own experience of being a twin. 

 

I have countless people come up to me with a dreamy look in their eyes saying “I wish I was a twin – I would love to have someone my own age to play with.”  

 

I have no doubt you’re imagining those famous movie twins from ‘The Parent Trap’, or ‘Finding Mary Kate and Ashley’  Their dazzling identical smiles and exotic twin powers are enough to charm the pants off anyone!

 

When I say ‘twins’ you probably think of identical twins with matching clothes.       

You know, the type who finish off each others sentences and know exactly what the other is thinking. Yes, there are some twins who really do act like that - I’m not denying it; I’ve met twins like that myself and have found them dizzying to look at let alone talk to.

 

However it is a common prejudice that people think all twins will be identical, cute, and mirror personalities of each other.  In most cases this image is very wrong!

 

I for one do not have this mirror image kind of relationship with my sister and at the worst of times it can be a much, much uglier picture.

 

Have you ever really stopped to think of what it is like to be a twin?

 

    Imagine You and your ‘twin’ are screaming loud enough to raise the entire neighbourhood at five in the morning because you can’t decide who is to wear the rainbow undies.   

   Imagine having your hair yanked out because you were naughty and used her favourite red marker.

   Imagine being made to take the blame for something you didn’t do just because your twin sister lied and said you did it. It will always be her word against yours.

   Imagine how your friends will forever be comparing you to your sister.       

   Imagine always being defined as “The Twins”

    Imagine always having to compete against your ‘other’.   Having a twin is like having a shadow that will never leave you alone,

 

 That is what having a twin is like for me.  My sister and I are two incredibly different individuals.  We look completely different, we talk differently, we act differently and have separate beliefs and values.  We have different interests - most of them at extreme opposite ends of the scale. I was always more of an intellectual who excelled academically whereas my sister enjoys physical activity.     No matter how different we were, we still had to share our room, our toys, our clothes, our school, our class, our friends, and its no wonder that we spelled double trouble!  If we had just been two classmates we wouldn’t have thought twice about befriending each other we’re just too different.

 

Unlike classmates though, we don’t have the choice of ‘not’ knowing each other.  We are forced to endure each others company everyday.  

 

We drive each other around the twist and what usually starts off as a little tiff can turn into a violent fight.

 

Relief, relief by high school we were to much for our parents and were split into different schools.     I revel in those hours when I can pretend I don’t have a twin.  But at the end of the day she is always there barging through my bedroom door and accusing me of ‘stealing’ something that belonged to her when actually it was given to both of us.  

 

We spent our entire childhood sharing things and there were times when we wanted to have our own things that we could rightfully say was 'mine' instead of 'ours'.  Somehow it never quite worked out that way.

 

To this very day my sister always seems to think she has a right to help herself to my underwear whenever she can’t find her own.  She always thinks she can just nip into my room and take my headphones. Its very irritating to find my sister has taken something just when I want it most!   I guess  we have grown so used to having to share things she doesn't quite know where to draw the line   I tell her once in a nice tone not to do it. I try to be nice and understanding when really all I want to do is rip her head off.  I tell her twice in a stern tone, I try to be angry and threatening, I tell her a million times “Don’t take my things, they are not yours”  yet she still doesn’t get the message!

 

 Its drives both of us insane when we unknowingly cross each other’s line.   It has driven me to put a lock on my bedroom door.  (she has taken to climbing through my window now)

 

  Who said twins had to like each other?  How on earth did people come up with the idea that twins would be the best of friends and live happily ever after?  

 

With your friends you can atleast send them home when you get tired of them.  I can’t just ‘send’ my sister away when I get tired of her. I have to live with it. We will always be tied together by our birthdays and genes.

 

 Please, tell me you don’t want a twin after all I’ve said?   If you do, you are probably a deluded nutcase!


Having a twin can drive you insane to the point where your bed time reading becomes the home security catalogues!

 

deleted deleted 26-30 191 Responses Oct 2, 2008

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Interesting. I wonder if anything has changed. I have to say I like being a twin as well as love my twin sister but being around her always seem to result in an argument where neither of us backs down and this has been going on for over 20 years. I hear what you are saying about the boundary issues. I had my fair share of those. I remember coming home one day to see her cutting up cartidge paper - it turned out to be the project I had worked on with some class mates, which I was saving. I wondered why not ask? why choose my things?

I dont know if anyone else has experienced this, but now that we live in separate countries, the only issue that remain is that she wont talk to me respectfully. Everybody else gets some effort but she doesnt bother to do so with me. I am not talking about lack of formality - i am talking quick temper, raised voice and various attempts to control the conversation. I consider the latter to be the equivalent to she wanting a pre-cordered conversation or a robot that has been pre-programmed.That's when WW III breaks out.

I didnt see such instances as twin issues, but her personality. She just felt she didnt need to respect me. Do you know what's ironic about this? Though very different, we have very similar interests including choice of career where we differ in specialisation.

My twin sister always gets good grades, boys like her more than me, and she always has the better friends. I always have to compete with her or match up to her because my parents always tell me "why can't you try as hard as Maggie?" But I'm just naturally not good at school. Plus she's more of a social person when I'm not that exciting and unsociable. This year, I re-met my 5th grade best friend that I missed so much and Maggie became best friends with her. Her name is Sage. Anyway, now they text all the time, and make plans without me. In fact Sage acts like she doesn't even notice me. I've been watching an anime series called Hetalia recently and I can totally relate to a character called Hetalia. Whenever I text sage nowadays, she only asks where Maggie is and just leaves me on "read" a lot and never replies. I have been best friends with sage from 2ND GRADE! And she wants to be friends with Maggie. Since me and my twin tell each other anything, I told her to stop hogging sage and everything that I'm writing now but she said she's not giving up HER friend because of me. I really want sage to be my friend and I even looked on iwiki but everything I do doesn't work, I don't want to give up either because I REALLY want to be her friend 😭😭😭😭 what do I DO?!?!?

Make Maggie see that she can still be friends with Sage, but that they are excluding you and should try to include you more. Tell Sage that she technically is BOTH of your friends and needs to treat you as such. If she says you are not friends anymore, than, well she wasn't being a good friend anyway.
Sincerely-Twinlife.
PS-I am in that EXACT SITUATION right now, so I can totally relate.

Also, remember, be respectful during this process. They will dislike you if you turn it into a rant about them.

I understand that some twin relationships can be the way you described them, however, I do think it's quite unfair and biased of you to say that if you want a twin you're a, 'deluded nutcase', especially as your main problem seems to be that you don't like to share. I for one am a twin and although we do bicker sometimes, I have to say that she is one of the greatest gifts I have been blessed with, my twin is my beautician, my counsellor, my comedian and my best friend. So just to clarify everyone is different and not all twin relationships are about competition and being annoying etc.

I agree I am a twin as well at the age of 14 and the only thing being a twin has done is depression

I feel you. 14 too and it hella sucks. People in our school don't like him so they don't invite me to hang out because they think they will have to invite that *******. Also those stupid *** questions who's older **** that **** man like kill yourself if you've ever asked a whack *** comment like that. **** it. Feel better man I feel the god damn ******* ****** struggle. **** my life. Seriously, my parents won't even let us go to different schools.

Being a twin has essentially ruined my life. I am the younger one, the ugly one, the fat one, the crazy one; my sole purpose in life, I feel, is to be but a pawn who fails in order to make my "better half" look good. If I do anything first, I can be sure she will follow, do the same, but better. She is happy--an instagram famous, thin, successful, beautiful person; I am a disorganized, fat, walloping mess. I see no purpose in life--if others aren't comparing me ("Oh! I thought [insert twin's name] had gained weight!" "Oh, you're doing [insert thing], too?" "You look SO different!" "You look so similar!" "You have *exactly* the same voice!" "You don't even sound the same!"), I'm comparing myself, or she is there, waiting to one-up me, and to post it on social media... My life has no meaning, no purpose: I am a bag of useless flesh, breathing up useless air in a vacuous world.

i feel ya. im a twin those last 2 sentences....

Please, no, you are not worthless.
It is tough having a twin like this, I understand. Nobody is perfect. If there is a perfect person they would have made history. Besides, would you say this to someone else? If no, then why say it to yourself. Your life is filled with meaning, you just are at the point where you are searching for the key to open the the doors.

All of these things are true. I have a twin as well. We fight we cry and we scream at each other. We have to share absolutely everything. But I can tell you one thing. I love her with all of my heart even when she gets on my last nerve, I wouldn't trade her in for anything in the world. I feel like she is always better than me, but guess what, that's all in my head. She's an amazing person and so am I. I just want to tell you that no matter how annoying she will be, you can always count on her.

i would trade my twin for a lot of things

Omg I agree with all of it especially when people call us "the twins"

people like that should kys

RIGHT?? That is so annoying.
I especially hate "ARE YOU GUYS TWINSSS? YOU LOOK SO ALIKE!!"
Like, no, I found the person who looks almost exactly like me in a parking lot and took her home. (I'm just kidding, that never happened). It's also followed by..
•which one is older?
•are you, like, the same age?
•staring
•can you read each other's minds?
•identical?
•finding ridiculous ways to tell us apart
(Call out one of our names just to see which one)
•thinking we should be mirror images
•assuming we play tricks on people (even when we don't)
Feel free to see which one of these you've experienced before.

Add a response...

omg you have no idea how much that happens to me!!!

Although being a twin can sometimes be a pain, it is wrong to ever want to get rid of your twin because your twin is literally half of who you are. Reading these negative coments about having a twin really hurts me because me and my twin are best friends, and pretty much alike. I came to this site because i just woke up from a nightmare, in which i killed my twin, even in my dream, after realizing i killed him, i comforted him, so that he would feel better(weird i know... Its a dream nothing makes sense). Anyways the bottom line is, twins are a gift, and the only bad thing that i can really think of is one of the twins dying, i absolutely have no clue of what ill do if my twin dies before me, ill be beside myself with grief because i was blessed/cursed to have someone there for me all my life, then i have to experience him leaving me, which is similar to your whole world crashing down on you. I love being a twin, but for the sole reason of, one us dying first i can see why someone wouldnt want to be a twin.

I have a twin sister and what you said is completly true.Sometime i just want her to go away and never come back.

Love/hate, that's how it goes with siblings. Trust me, you will want her to come back a minute later.

I am a twin and this is completely true. They blame everything on you and if the other is mean people think you are too. My friends are always like 'I wish I had a twin' and my response is it is a 'love hate relationship'. They will always be there for you, to either hug you or hurt you. I got the calm, reasoning side and my fraternal side got the blind anger. I would protect her, when even today, she tried to choke me because she took some of my gum and I took a piece out of her bag to chew. Be glad that you don't have a twin. Imagine spending your whole life with a person that isn't your bestie 24/7. Multiply that by 1000. That is what being a twin feels like along with what has been mentioned.

My sister and I were raised as fraternal twins, always had our own stuff, etc. never did understand why people couldn't tell us apart. shared many friends, we fought violently about pretty much everything. But we always had our own stuff,and our own rooms, which maybe made a difference. Also our mother was adamant we were fraternal and always made a huge effort to make sure we were treated as individuals. We grew up and eventually stopped hating each other and becme the absolute best of friends. Guess what? We got suspicious since we look so much alike, had our DNA tested, and we are identical. I now have identical twin sons who are 14 months old. I hope they are as happy being twins as their aunt and I are.

I know how you feel. I myself am a twin. Whenever I get something she gets the same thing.

I am a twin myself. My sister and I are not identical twins but we look so similar. She is a *** all the time and she is always getting the guys no matter what. She still the guy I had always liked, in a mear second. I want her to be happy. I love him.

This article hits really close to home for me other than the fact that my identical twin sister and I were extremely close but now we are estranged from each other due to a manipulating and abusive father. It is really hard to be able to cope without her even though she has been gone over a year. I am actually in therapy and she recommended I come onto some of these blogs and find people who would read my story because I feel like no one understands. I would really appreciate if you guys could read my blog that I will probably start today.

Let me tell you why this is a load of crap. I am an identical twin I am 14 minutes older than my brother. We get into fights for stupid reasons but I do not mentally or physically hate him. We are referred to as the twins and everyone calls us by our name as in bobjoe. Because they cannot tell who is who. I for 1 do not feel like I need to compete with my twin. we don't scream over clothes. This image of twins is considerably wrong.

For myself, being a fraternal twin is worse. This happens so much to me. She doesn't do ________, and we both get penalized. This is why it sucks.

I hate my twin. By being two minutes older than me he believes he is the better of the two. He is the more physical one which often doesn't help as he has a foul temper, attitude and outlook on most things, whereas I am the more academic one. I find that my parents favour him more because he has a definite life plan (he knows exactly what career path he wants to choose) whereas I am unsure about what I want to do, he never lets me forget that. I've got to the point where I no longer have sympathy for him. He makes sure my self-worth is out the window before I go to college in the morning so I feel excellent everyday. With my parents it's one of those situations where if I was to do something wrong I'd get in more trouble than him if he did the same thing.

Honestly, I don't want to hate my brother but it has gotten to the point where I can't stand him any more.

I hate my twin.

I know exactly how you feel

My twin is older by 15 min. She has the power, I have wits. I beat her in each subject, As vs A-.

I am a fraternal twin, and my twin is a minute older than me, the problem with mines is that with that 1 minute gap every one thinks she is the oldest and to always listen to her. Or when i was younger i couldn't hang out with my friends unless i brought her along. It was always like that, as much as I love sharing our birthdays together i always wanted something for myself

Haha, Omg.. I have a twin brother, he drives me absolutely insane, but we are actually also pretty close. I'm very protective over him, and it makes me upset sometimes, like... I'd literally jump in front of a bullet or fist or anything for him. Haha

I have a twin, mum died last year and I have stood by her come what may for the past 12 months and lent loads of money for one reason or another, i have said i cannot give anymore and now its like she does not want to know me. i feel heartbroken, almost like whilst your giving i am her best friend, when I am not giving she does not want to know me xxx so sad i love her so much and know she is in a difficult position with things in her married life and with her young children i almost feel compelled to give for the sake of the kids including a break for her the children and me, after doing that she is back to her shouting bolshy ways, how can i permanently learn to say no to her and not get so hurt by her nasty comments

I appreciate this. I am in my 40s, and am an identical twin. It's been a rough road. I have had to struggle against the expectations of the entire shallow outside world that thinks I am supposed to be a clone. Just remember that all of us are individuals, despite outward appearances. Don't force your expectations on anybody. Give people room to breathe.

Do any of you catch people taking photos of you and your twin too, without them wanting you two to know? Is that common? I find it really annoying and frustrating.

No.. But that is kind of being a stalker

I have a fraternal twin sister, but we look exactly alike! I hate being a twin. Honestly, it get really tiring. Everyone thinking i'm her, or she's me. Even my boyfriend got us mixed up and had to ask who I was. She steals my stuff, and is really abusive. Even though she is the smarter A+ one, I still exist! My parents favor her over me because they have "High hopes" well, I have being left out as always. Even being called "The twins" irritates me. My friends are shared with her, my room is shared with her, and my LIFE is shared with her. I don't understand why people think having a twin is great, it's hell.

Gets**

I have a fraternal twin brother all we did was have bloody fist fight he was
a lot bigger than me everyone believe him to be my older brother he also
has mental problems I love him but with to see him never again

I have an identical twin brother, and I agree with everything you say. but being a twin, is great in so many ways I forget about. like how you are both the same age. Or how you are the best of friends you just don't really know it. Being a twin sucks a lot ( everyone thinking your the same person) but it is also pretty great, not just black and white more like shades of grey

Add a response...

I have a fraternal twin sister. I'm older by two minutes. We are really close sisters, even though we fight A LOT!!! We shared a bed and room for nine years. We still have many sleepovers. We have all of the same friends. That can be annoying. When we moved in 4th grade, in the beginning of the year a girl from my sister's class invited her to her birthday party. I was not invited. That isn't fair. We recently got our own rooms, but she still hangs out in MY room. Her room is about 1/4 bigger than mine. She is the smart one, tall one, reader, gymnast, writer, poet, athletic, friendly one, and actor. I'm only the sociable one, talkative one, dancer, and shy one. Everyone likes her better. People ask us who is older, and guess my sister just because she is taller. My cousins who I have known for about a decade think my sister is older. My friends don't know that I'm older. Some of my family don't know either. They think she is mature. I think she is a little serious at times. We had lockers next to each other because they assign lockers alphabetically. I decorated five of my friends lockers. My sister decorated three lockers. My friends like her better. In a class, we were asked to pick some friends to be in our group. Then we had to star a favorite person. All my friends picked my sister. I did, too. She picked me, too. :) I call, text, email, and video chat/FaceTime/Skype my friends. My sister will stay inside and won't play outside with me. Once in while she will say yes. We take many selfies. She breaks my stuff, I break my stuff, too. She broke my camera. I broke my iPod. Her stuff is safe for now. We wanted the same school backpack this year until we new that both of us wanted it. We don't want to be twinning. I got it after a lot of you should have it, no you should have it. We compete with each other. It is friendly competition. When we are going to college I am going to be so sad to be going to a different college than her (maybe, maybe not). I love her soooo much!!! We are definently Best Friends Forever!!!👭

You "twin" as much as you want. It sounds like you guys have a great friendship.

Well if you would like to bond with fun challenges and compete for a large cash prize with your twin, I'm casting a new show centered on identical twins. It's going to be a good time!

I have a identical twin ever since we were little we looked alike but as years go by she looks more mature and I still have my baby face as other people say. And I have the exact problem just like you! We fight alot but most of the times it's because she thinks I stole something from her when I never did. (She just normally loses something in her room) We go to the same school and even the same classes! Everywhere I turn I see her somewhere close by... it's really annoying because if I go somewhere she justs has to know where I am! Sure I am a bit smarter than her but then people begin to compare and contrast us like nothing! She has a better body, she speaks deeper, and etc... My mom always says we are suppose to be really nice to each other like if we were in some fairy tale but we're NOT! And yes I do have other friends who are twins and yeah some are like BFF's but we aren't. I wanted to wear the same clothing like when we were little but now she doesn't even want to wear the same clothes as me! :( Being a twin sure does have it's ups and downs...

Would you be on a competition tv show with your twin to compete against other twins for a large cash prize?

No because I don't like showing on tv lol

Bonding Experience! We wont air your dirty laundry.

<p>Add a response...</p>there are m any different reasons that can effect how fraternal or identical twins behave towards each other. in my case, our mother had died giving birth to us. my father got married when we were ten months old. she wanted him but not us. he worked long hours away from home and she was our caregiver. I don't have a memory of anything before I was four or five and when I do its memories of abuse by the stepmother. she took my sister under her wing to groom her the way she wanted and I was the one that got the beatings when her day didn't go well or my father got mad at her for various reasons.<br />
<br />
by the time we entered high school, my sister was also beating on me. we moved to another city and I finally got a break having my own bedroom. my sister and I had different friends in school; me with people I had something in common with, her with the "in" crowd. she always needed to be with people that had money and got a lot of attention. yes she has always been a shallow person.<br />
<br />
when she married and I was her bridesmaid (only because she had to have me) I caught the bouquet. she yanked it back out of my hands in front of my co-workers who came to the wedding from an hour away. the whole next week they talked about what a b.... my sister was.<br />
<br />
she has made trouble and lied through marriage and raising children to the point I had to break it off with her when my children were very young. she was jealous of my daughter and son whom I had before she had a girl. she flatly told me at her wedding (I was still single) that she was going to have the first grandchild. due to medical reasons, I had my two before she had her daughter. I hardly think that is something to get wild about but she did. she made life unbearable for me. she is also to blame for advising me to have an abortion when my husband died and I was only a few months pregnant.<br />
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I could write a book about this woman but who needs to read such horrible stories.<br />
<br />
when my father died in January 2000 she called me and told me not to come to his city that he wasn't going to have a funeral that he was going to be cremated. well I found out five years later that the day she called was the day of his funeral. all my relatives think badly of me not going to his funeral. I can't try to tell everyone about what she did. I feel it would make things look worse so I stay to myself, visit no one and don't have a relationship with any family but my children.<br />
<br />
last july after my sister retired from 40 years of teaching at a catholic school she went to my daughters work site which is four hours from her home and starting making trouble again. why would she visit my daughter who she hadn't seen in 35 years? now my relationship with my daughter is shaky and my daughter is now friends with her on facebook. this is killing me as my daughter has blocked me from facebook.<br />
<br />
I believe if you are honest you still can't win. this past two years has caused me a lot of mental anguish and physical problems. I going to be 65 and pray to God every day to help me get through these hard times.<br />
<br />
I have learned that a liar does influence people but I don't know what kind of people. my sister could sell you a boat even if you lived in the desert.

Know the feeling. I love my sister and all but I really can't stand being twins. Not only am I a twin but I'm also a glass child. My sister is disabled. I swear if I had a dollar for every time someone was shocked we were twins I could go to collage, buy a mansion, a yot, and still have a ton left over. I really feel for ya.

I am a female with a fraternal twin sister. We are polar opposites as far as personalities, temperments, interests and hobbies. Ever since we were toddlers she has been the bossy one and I was always shy and more laid back. I hate it when people say, "There's always one twin who is the strong one and one who is the weaker one." Being the "weaker" one, I really resent that insensitive language. By the way, we will be 60 on our next birthday (in January) and still have people ask, "Ooh, what's it like to be a twin?" They just assume that you and your twin are TOTAL soulmates and that your twin would give her left arm for you! My twin has always resented me ~ she was the brainy one but I was the sweet one who got along with our parents better and I think that bothered her. Ok, go ahead and say it ~ I have issues. Yes, I'll admit that I do.

Sorry to hear all the negative stories about Twins. I wouldn't trade the relationship with my twin brother for anything. Been my constant companion for 26 years and I don't see that changing in the next 26 years.

Would you and your brother be interested in competing against other twins for a large cash prize on a major cable network? It's like big brother but more fun.

As a mother of just two year old twin boys, I was wondering your age when you wrote this? I'm sorry to read that you feel so negatively about being a twin. My boys are so close and sweet to each other and I hope, idealistic as it is they are forever friends. I lost my brothers to a nasty family secret I would not keep, and theres a hole there. Even though, yeah they are kinda a holes. Time changes everything, thats what I want to say to you. You can't know it until you see it yourself. I hope you find some positives in there. I know I would not want my twins any other way. Good luck.

Please don't force closeness on them. Really, as a twin I can say that it often is a real burden. Now, even as adults, I am happiest not living in the same town. Sadly, right now I have to. Even though I am in my 40s, I still hate the "are you twins" question. I am just so very tired of it and except for being sisters she and I have nothing in common and have lived very different lives. For me, although I love my twin sister, I just hate being a twin with a deep and abiding passion. Again, let them be who they really are and don't force that "best friends" thing. Me and my sister, we looked alike (less so now) but have always been very different. Forced to be together always, this was awful. For me, it was like a prison that I was born into and it took me fleeing abroad for several years as soon as I could to be free.

PS: Good for you for not keeping the dirty family secret. Secrets kill the joy inside. The truth really does set you free, so even if you lost your brothers, you gained your freedom.

That question? Oh, once I got it multiple times within 2 minutes. Yeah you read right

I am a twin as well. We are extreme opposites in that i socialize very much and he is always at home with my parents.So naturally my parents like him more.Fortunately i have always been more successful with grades.The whole twins should be best friends is quite a burden.Society expects a cute bff relationship from complete opposites.Text anyone and the first response is "how is your brother?" We are now in our early 20's and still family cannot allow me to do anything without checking if my brother is doing it too.I see a job i like,make sure your brother has applied as well,i want to go see a movie,make sure you go with your brother.I want to go eat something,make sure you get some for your brother.Dont even get me started on how sharing a room has given me no privacy.Even my wallet can be searched at any time and parents think you're twins whats wrong with that?? Now i chose to do economics and guess what we both had to apply and are in the same class.Now it gets worse in that i am forced to do everything that he is planning to do.He wants to do a course in law,i have to do it too.He wants to travel,i have to go too. Sometimes it feels like being a twin is like taking any random stranger and making him look like you and then having to share everything...i mean everything... forever.If i ask my dad to get me anything?? say a shirt or shoes or even a laptop..he will get two.Suddenly you dont know who owns what and arguments fill the day.I can never enjoy being an individual..I am a twin. Now my dad has bought a house for us to live in after our degrees are done.lo and behold,its in both our names.

And by the way,dad just opened up a bank account so he can send us money to share.. we have one atm card and every expense must be discussed,imagine? an outgoing person sharing an account with a home staying person and having to justify needing to pull out money for a beer.

Why not do tv together to? I'm casting a new competition show that's about twins competing against other twins for a large cash prize. It would be a great bonding experience, and if you win you could buy your own house.

That's really messed up. I am a twin too, and growing up my situation wasn't as bad as yours, but my suggestion to you is to go abroad and teach English somewhere for a few years, break that dynamic up. Get miles and miles and miles between the two of you. After a few years, you can then find out who he really is, who you really are.

I understand what you're going through with my identical twin. I am always considered "the clone" because I was born second. People forget my name and call me by his name instead. He's smarter than I am, so I am considered the dumb one.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm an identical twin and we always get lumped. He however is considered the "better twin". He gets better grades, is liked by our friends better, and I'm even kind of sure that my prom date wants to go with him ( even though he has a date already). I just can't wait for the day when we can be thought of as individuals and not the same person.

Yes, well, if I were you I'd put space between the two of you ASAP. Go to a different college, whatever you can do to get away. Then you'll be free of all those worthless constant comparisons that are so debilitating.

I would love an identical twin, due to the pain of no one understanding me. No matter how annoying they would be, at least they could understand. Also, the fact that you share everything and she steals from you is ridiculous, your parents think you're those fairytale twins, when you need to tell them you're far from that image. Siblings in general are tough to deal with, but a twin you have to share your possessions with? God, help us. At least my twin friends have their own separate possessions and when one picks up another's item, they just talk it out and get over it. I find that identical twins find it easier to tolerate and live and befriend each other, while fraternal twins have more sibling problems. Also, if your "friends" are comparing you constantly to you FRATERNAL twin, they are either retarded, blind, or not your true friends. Hope things get better for you.

I know right! I have a twin and she drives me bonkers! I'm sturdier built, as I help my dad fix fencecs, carry heavy poles, an work on the barn. I'm short, but I'm broad shouldered. My twin is tall and skinny,as she doesn't do anything but sit on the computer. Everyone likes her more than me just because I beat them at arm wrestling, don't wear make up, nd aren't as skinny as my twin. Even my bestfriends now likes her over me. (We aren't best freinds anymore)
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I'm an identical twin who's trying to establish my identity as ME, and this really describes everything I feel and what I'm living. My twin and I have gone to the same school with the same friends and teachers for 10 straight years, and so everyone knows us as just "the twins," when we're really so different, but not even my best friends see it! It's good to know that I'm not the only one who finally agrees with me!

Hello my name is Inaja and I am doing a paper on twins and I wanted to know can I ask you three questions on being a twin?

It's fine with me. What do you want to know?

Do you want like DNA stuff or more "life as a twin"? Is your focus more on identical or fraternal twins?

I have a twin sister and we usually get along well but sometimes we have big arguments over stupid things. We're very different from each over, she's loud, I'm quiet.
We share a room and have the same friends so we are around each over nearly all the time.
The worst thing is when she always wants to invite our friends to our house but I can't be bothered :(
We are also constantly referred to as 'the twins' which annoys me.
I can't wait to go to university so I can make my own friends. I know it's selfish but I hope she won't make friends with the people I meet at uni. I want more individuality!

Same here! I totally get it!

i know how you feel i have a twin sister too and every one knows me as one of the 'twins' my name is hania and her name is zinia people dont give a **** , to them my name is 'Hania ,Zinia' and so is hers . they dont think its really necessary to take the time and notice how different we are to me in pictures we look extremely different to them its like i took a picture with a mirror !

I know how you feel me and my brother are twins sadly much like you and your sister. We look nothing alike, we have nothing in common. I am 23 and I still have to share a room with him. He takes my things, eats my food, and he has taken my money on a few occaisions because he said it wasn't fair that I had money and he didn't even though I worked for it. My some of my recent friends when they hear I'm a twin go on about how lucky I am to have a twin and how they wish they had one. If only they knew that meant not having your own birthday, or high school graduation, or even something a simple as a room to call your own. I am a twin and I hate it and I hate him.

i know right? i mean a birthday is supposed to be My day not Our day ! other siblings can say "be nice to me its my birthday today" but i cant even say anything about well..anything

Was writing something on twins when I bumped into this. Didn't know it's that bad. I'm guilty of treating twins as unit, now I'll have to change.

I'm not even a twin and I NEVER treated twins as a unit! I don't understand why people do that?!

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I absolutely 110% agree.

 I have a fraternal twin sister, and I don't like it. I hate being called as "the twins" or "the sisters". I also hate when ppl are talking to me and using plural. i want to be seen as an individual :(. since childhood we are inseparable but not with our choice, same highschool, now same university, what can we do, we have the same interests :/... reason i ended up on this site is because lately i have been depressed since it turned out the guy I like for three years already, likes my sister! sad part is that even though we are fraternal twins, we are very simillar and to ppl is hard to believe that we are not identical... so why the hell did he choose my sister instead?! He is always saying to my sister that she is "the cheerful one" which is entirely not true, he got that impression just because I like him, and we all behave a bit different in front of those we like. she doesn't like him, which is a plus but doesn't mean anything as it appears I already lost the battle. I don't know what to do anymore! Continue liking him or just admit my defeat and move on. My sister is trying to help me by getting him hang out with us more, but at the same time it means he gets to spend more time with her and getting to know her, I'm just waiting for the day when he'll think of me only as an unwanted extra in the way >.<"

My twin ruined a year of my life : I'm 17 and I have an identical twin brother (well, the doctors never could tell. but we look very similar) I think being a twin is great! There are alot of advantages if you get along. It means that ive always had a best freind since I was born and we laugh and joke alot. I have complete faith in him and alot of people fdont have that in someone. We are extremly close twins perhaps because our dad died when we were 9 which meant our family was really close.

Generally speaking, I am probably more academic than him and more sporty but I am much lees motivated and work less but often i achieve better results. In my exam year at school I suffered alot because of him. He stressed the entire family out whilst studying and he turned his study time into a fulls scale lifestyle choice. He would isolate himself socially and worked every minute evry hour- he eventually failed because he was suffering from axiety and insomnia because of his stress. I did better than him in the results but they werent outstanding. It was because he made me study like he did nd he made me isolate myself, he bullied me into starting new courses, weeks before the exams! just so that i would achieve more highly. It was ludicrous but i can never say no to him. So really he messed my exam year up and it pissed me off. but he failed badly ad had problems so i never got on at him about it.

I got my first girlfreind(she was a bomb shell) after my exams and I spent most of the summer with her- he tagged along sometimes and it really pissed me off, he was pretty jelous as well. He didnt approve of her however, he made me think all the bad things about her were true. We broke up because I started to believe that she was a bad person and he tried to break us up the whole time- I loved her and it has been a hard few months after the break up. He always lectures me about morality as well and wants me to be like him. This year has shown me that we need to grow apart and I need to be able to make my own decisions.

However, now that we have started a new school year. We have started fighting really badly. Soemtimes we live in other famly members hoouses to get a break.

but now He has backed the **** off. He wants to be different people just as much as I do which is quite relievin g and now we are separating. He is going to study law and i'm going to study politics with law. We both have very similar interests in that respect. But we will be going to different universities now which means for the first time I can make friends without being a twin!

I also dont have loads of freinds at the moment, in the early school years he began to fall out with a lot of people and I had to defend him. I wasnt going to be freinds with people who were mean to him! So his enemies bcame my enemies and eventually I found it hard to make feinds. Of course ive had plenty of frends in the past. But I dont have many friends right now because I was forced into isolation and im just raisng my social status aagain. but he still manages to fall out with people and it makes it hard. Im not a loner or anything. plenty people like me and i chat to alot of people but its hard when hees a recluse and he comes up to me chatting. I feel bad for him thoough. he seems happy on his own though and he is feircly confident in certain situatons, when managing a team and giving public speeches. he is a great leader, a great military leader infact. He is a very competant and driven person.

I think that if you are a twin you tend not to make as many ffreinds, esepcially if you have some difficulty. You can just have your twin as your freind its easier just to rely on them rather than forge freindships. It is only now when we have sepertaed that I have started to feel lonely and it has forced me to go out and make new friends. Which is what I have done. Im much more outgoing and social now and i have more social oppertunities.

My advice to any other twins? Make a genuine effort to become an individual and try to dissasociate yourself while you still can. Do it nnow, go for it. It will make it easier to make big decisions because I am used to consulting my twin to see what he thinks. Its debilitating really. So I will seperate and forge a better life for myslef and I will not be brought down by him. And he wont be brught down by me. We need to learn to let each other fail and succeed at our own peril. but support each other when we need to.

You know another thing that annoys me. He thinks he ahs rights to girls and there attention if they like me! he has a sense of entighltment! it reaally anoys me.

Anyway, thanks for reading guys!

I feel exactly the same way. When I first got my first boyfriend, I found out she (my twin) had started talking to him behind my back. We broke up, nd now everyone has her in center of attention. I always feel left out, which is why I now have a fear of talking to people, people looking at me, or even when my bestfriend talks to me. Having a twin has ruined my WHOLE life. It really ****** me off.

being a twin can be weird but blaming your twin ( and I am a twin) because some random guy stopped liking you is kinda ridiculous my twin sister makes me crazy and 'm pretty sure i make her crazy too but she's ruining your life girl? think you need a deep breath or counseling

Just remember, instead of being their enemy, they might just need a friend. They probably feel the exact same way. I have befriended my fair share of pairs and it usually turns out that they feel the same way on both sides of the equation.

I have a twin sister and sometimes we fight (which is normal) and other times we get along really well, we share our opinions about our classmates. The thing that we both hate the most is being called "The Twins", as you said! This is so annoying and saddening... I hate being called "Hey, Twin! Come here!" or "Twins, did you do this..." They think we are one person, hello, we are TWO DIFFERENT individuals! They put us under a common denominator! We dont look alike, we have different personalities and attitude, its so unfair... They should treat us as two different classmates, but i guess its just impossible, since we're always together and inseperable. >:'(

It's good that you have started to type out these feelings to let them out, but now it's time to get them into the air around us. Instead of bottling up your anger, you need to take a deep breath and have a serious discussion with your twin about what annoys you and what doesn't. Then, whether you're standing alone or with your twin, tell your classmates gently that you dislike being called this or when they do this, etc. If they still do not stop, then tell a teacher, your parents, or just tell them more seriously. The first step to being an individual is standing up for your opinions.

Oh my gosh YES!!! And when I try to tell them to stop, they just get pissed off and ask me why I'm such a jerk. I am so glad SOMEONE finally, AUTHENTICALLY understands instead of the old, 'yeah I get it.' when they really don't care.

I'm a girl with a twin brother. As a child it was always look after your brother ur 9 minutes older so ur more mature... (seriously) I also go to feel my brothers pain which is bloody great being in agony cause my assshole brother got in a fight. Also I'm a girl so I should clean up after him I should also be a girl wear girly things and play girly games. I was a better boy than my brother was! Then we grow up. I'm taking care of my mom and despite having barely enough to feed myself I was paaying for food for my mom cause while I was off studying by brother was bludging and leaving my mom broke and with no food despite the fact he had a full time job paying out a grand or more a week... but he needed his drugs and alcohol and mom was too scared to kick him out. Enventualy he leaves to join a gang and instead gets his *** thrown in prision. So being the nice person I am I give him some money for barthroom crap and magazines until I find outhe spent it on drugs. When he gets out I buy him a phonecharger write his cv get him some pants for work but get told I'm disrepecting him cause he can't handle a little dumb blonde joke (he isn't even blonde) and so I tell him to find someone else to use and abuse (I had previously had a protection order on him as he used to beat me black and blue and never apologized once) and now I again get to feel like I've been punch in the eye because he got into a fight even though I have cut him out completely. All the whyle getting told 'you have a twin! That's soo cool'

im a twin in 7th grade and I want to do something different than her but my parents wont let me

It depends, I think your problem is your twin is a prat, pardon my french. She sounds like any other sibling. I don't have a twin but I have a baby sister born the day after me (twelve years apart), I don't care that our birthdays sometimes get lumped together or if she borrows my stuff. From the sound of it both you and your sister need to grow up a little and learn to settle your difference as family and not blame it on you being 'twins'.

I think that it depends on the family experience to determine how being a twin would feel. I am a twin, and we look SUPER alike... To other people that is... We both say we look SO different! Anywho, I love being a twin. Yes, I have ranted off to my mom and sister multiple times about how we are individuals, and not just "The Girls" Or "The Twins", but it is not extremely bad, and sometimes I like it. For instance, one of my role models calls us the twinners, and so does our dad, but they can tell us apart too!

Personally, I think the hardest thing about being a twin, is when people like your twin more than than you. It used to really hurt my feelings, but now, I have matured a little bit... (I am a teenager) And it does not bother me as much. But really, it can hurt. We both are really good friends with a boy, and he really likes us... and whenever he chat's with my sister, he says she is beautiful, and says: Love you at then end, but still... That does not matter. You don't need to be involved in relationships in high school. worry about that stuff later, and you can just have fun!

Also, my sister is DEFINITElY the good one at school... We are Home schooled/charter schooled, and at the charter school, she gets 90-100% on tests... And I usually get around... 66-80%... even though I work just as hard as her. And she is really good at writing poems, but I am better than her at running, and doing hair. She is also the quieter one... Seriously. I just got worse this month. She used to be as outgoing as me, but now she is so quiet that in some classes, she almost cries when the teacher calls on her to talk in front of the class. (This has nothing to do with the fact that we are homeschooled) And I am the outgoing one.... I pretty much make all of our friends... But we share friends, and none of our really good friends like either more.

Another fun thing about being a twin is some of the questions... While sometimes it's really embarrassing when people make it a huge deal that we are twins, sometimes when people ask us questions, it's really hard not to laugh! One boy asked us if "If I punch you? Will she feel it??" And we were just like: I dunno, why don't you try? Uh. NO! And some people ask if we have telepathy and stuff. Although we DO finish each others sentences occasionally, it is super rare, and we say things at the same time a lot, and whenever we do, people exchange weird glances... it's kind of annoying, while at the same time, funny!

I am sooo lucky to be a twin! I know a lot of people hate being twins, and that's okay. I used to be going down that road. With twins, you are not just automaticly friends, you have to become friends! It's fine to tell people they are lucky to be twins! Because they are! Just look at life optimistically! Although, in some cases, I completely understand how you would not like your twin. I think the only thing that really buggs me about my twin is her obvious inability to keep secrets. I tell her EVERYTHING, some things a little more embarrassing than others... And she blurts them out at the dinner table!!! And we always have a crush on the same person... (At least the majority of the time) And she is the only person who I can go crazy with completely. I LOVE HER!...Just sayin..... So yeah. Being a twin is AWESOME!

I think like you too. I have a non-ıdentical twin and ı love her. I feel really comfortable around her and tell everything No matter how emberassing it is and she keeps them. From our childhood we shared everything and my best memories are with her. We understand each other the best.
We don't look similar and we have different interests like she is more academic and ı like arts more. I hate people comparing us like she is clever you are not but it is not her fault. Also sometimes we fight and our fights are really ABD like she broke my tailbone:( ı really love her and ı am very happy to have a twin

I completely agree, I'm a twin and we are inseparable, I love her so much and we're best friends. I would spare my life for her. I think the thing people need to realise is that when everybody else leaves your twin won't.

Being a twin is lucky if you can treat eachother civilly, not as one unit, try not to compete with eachother, and be best of friends....try to enjoy this companionship and revel in your differences...not what makes you identical! Have friends and family call you by your respective names, not use "the twins" and try to have sepaerate classes and hobbies unique to yourselves!

Amen! I'm an identical twin and I hate it. Me and my twin sister were, supposedly, born from the same zygote. So everything about us, genetically, is exactly the same. Our body types are exactly the same and our mentalities our exactly the same. But! We are two completely different people as individuals. Seriously, we are NOTHING alike. I'm more rough around the edges, a tomboy who's into punk anything and everything. I'm mellow in a loner type of way and I don't have many friends. My sister is more of a girly-girl and is more talkative and popular. She likes hip hop and R&B and hates the genres I listen to. She has more friends and is more social. She's more colorful and upbeat. I'm more kept to myself, and I'm comfortable that way. I'm satisfied. She steady calls me weird. She thinks I'm a hippie because I'm so mellow and stay true to my own beliefs. I spread peace and don't let anyone tell me who to be. I really don't care how I look. Appearance isn't important to me and I know I'm not even attractive. So why try? My sister does care about appearance and, in my opinion, tries too hard to look good. She does manage to look much better than me even though we look just alike. She dresses up when we go to the grocery store and I always make fun of her. I literally get ready for school in five minutes. If even that long. I throw my hair in a bun and where a t-shirt, jeans, and converse. She has a more diverse sense of style. But I'm more laid back. But still, though we're greatly different, we're always being compared and it sucks! It eats me alive! It gnaws at my bones! I can never be defined as an individual. I'm always called twin, or my twin's name, or both of our names. I'm never called just by my name. NEVER!!!! I hate being a twin so much. My whole life I've had to share everything! I never look forward to my birthday because I have to share it. The only thing I don't share is the things I buy. And I can't be unique because my twin is obsessed with my creativeness and every time I come up with a cool idea for a project or just anything, she always ALWAYS steals it and people just happen to notice it and appreciate it more when she does it, but not me. I will admit that people like her better because she's nicer. But she's a pushover and doesn't know how to say no. And she smiles more. I'm not so friendly but I'm not mean. People always call me the mean twin. But I'm not mean, I'm a realist. Gosh! I hate it so much. It's like a plague that'll never leave my blood, no matter how far away from her I am, I'm still a twin. I always be a twin and it sucks so much. I swear after high school, I know for a fact we're not going to the same college. I want to hopefully go to a college where I don't know anyone so I can make new friends who don't know I have a twin. And I won't tell them I'm a twin because I don't have to. When you're a twin, you're treated as a twin. When you're treated as a twin, you're not treated as an individual.

I have a twin and i hate it, always have, being called Twin instead of my name was the bane of my school life. i purposely attended a different college to my sister so i could not be a 'twin'. Totally agree with everything you say

I have an identical twin brother, it's even worse because we look the same- WHATEVER he does is reflected on me. Aside from the fact I'm a guy yeah, this article is completely correct. Having a twin is hell. Literally Hell.

I'm an identical twin and I totally see where you're coming from! I always think of it like my sister is my best friend and WORST enemy. She so obviously hates being similar to me that it really hurts sometimes. I hate being so similar, but at the same time will never have someone else who understands how I think so well.

My twin sister was dux of our school, and is now studying medicine. Nothing I do will ever measure up to that kind of dedication, apparently. It's really hard being seen as the "dumb one", when ACTUALLY we have identical DNA and are equally intelligent (or have equal potential). I just make different choices.

It's nice to know other people are as frustrated as I am, but I want to remind people that although it is easy to hate your twin, it's not their fault for being your twin, and they probably feel the same way as you. Remember all the good times you've had together when no one was around to judge you as "the twins". Just give each other the space to be individuals.

I totally agree with this article, I am a fraternal twin.my sister beats me up when I say no to her, she takes my crap without permission like shoes, I have to get on her about taking care of her summer homework, she is very opposite of me. I am weak , she is strong (physically) I like to be alone and watch my anime, while she hangs out with her 2 best friends all the time and I have a bunch of friends but we hardly hang out because we r so busy. she has 15 pets to take of ( mostly aquatic animals) and I have just my cat. we only agree on a few things, like tv shows (Doctor Who). She dresses up like a boy with long hair with odd shoes ( Joker Shoes from the first batman). I had to cut my hair really short like a guys to stop being called by her name but they still mix us up. my sister is lazy she only does sports for 2 weeks and gives up. but my sister is much nicer to others and helps out while I am on my computer or ipod alone. we also are very different on things we like, I like new things and she likes antiques. it is VERY HARD & PAINFUL to be a twin. we have to share everything and we when we play spoons (a card game) we play together ONCE and we won every single round they always separate us because we have a "Super twin powers" so we cant play. we have the same one big group of friends but then we break off into little groups and we are in 2 different groups but our group still hangs out together. she is very childish and I am insane. so when we do something together we get in a lot if trouble like last time we broke a window. but sometimes it is good to have a twin to talk to. BUT I HATE BEING A TWIN. so never tell a twin that they are lucky to be a twin.

It has it good days and bad days of being a twin. But just thing of if your twin was there anymore. . . Gone. Then what would life be like for you. I have a twin sister. We are totally to different people and she can drive me crazy a times too. Were all I want to do is pull my hair out. I have share a room with my sister and other thing for the longest. I have had the same thing go though my head about being just me and not being compared to her. But when it comes down to it. I known I part of be would be died inside if something happen to her.

I have a twin too. It's terrible and I hate it. I never have anytime to myself, and she started track and cross country now, just like i did. And what I hate most is she's stealing all my friends. It annoys the crap out of me and it will never be changed. I hate it. She does everything with me and she won't leave me and my friends alone.

i am a twin too my sister is kind of an outgoing fun person and i am the opposite of that but we look exactly the same sometimes her boyfriend or other guys can't even tell us apart and it's really annoying we even have the same voice

It's nice to hear that it's not just me then! Everywhere you look there's twins in the media represented as disgustingly inseparable- finishing each other's sentences, wearing matching outfits etc- no thanks.

There's also this idea that it's either 100% mirrors of each other or complete rivals and dual opposites, never a happy medium like you'd find most siblings (and most twins) actually are!

Little thing to chew on. Isn't it strange how twins are usually always linked to comedy? Comic singers, comic plays, comic film/book/tv characters? Either that or they're like The Shining girls. People often laugh at what frightens them. Seem like society's slightly scared of twins?

Hello, Im 26 years old and I'm a fraternal twin. I have read most of everyones comments here on this site, but to be honest to me Its a curse being a twin. For those that don't know what it feels like being a twin, in my opinion its not a good feeling, and again this is my opinion. Imagine some other person having the same face as you.....weird and strange, now, imagine dating a girl that has been confused by your other brother....also weird. As a man you wanna feel like a true individual, like your own man that is different from every other man. Unique, different, different personality, just completely different all around from every other man that lives on this planet. Also imagine bumping into another man in big club with lots of attractive ladies, and all of a sudden some other male figure is wearing the same shirt with your exact height, or you meet some friends at a club and one of your friends ends up wearing the same shirt as you, you would probably tell your friend to go change his shirt. Think about it? its just really strange. I just feel that having the same face is not an attractive thing at all for a man. To some of you other twins here on this comment box, I have felt depressed for a long time knowing that I'm a twin, and having thoughts that i wished i was not a twin at all. I care for my bro but just not in the identical spectrum, in terms of same physical, personality, tone, shoe size, hand size and same facial ex<x>pressions / genetic traits. I have been depressed since i was 15 years old and haven't told anybody yet. I love all my family members, and to feel like this is stressful. When I go out i don't want to be with my brother by myself, because i start to feel weirded out and uncomfortable. People will look at us strange because we look alike and that to me is uncomfortable, especially if your a grown *** man at 26. Here a good one, you both go to the super market together and happen to bump into a beautiful grown women in the fruit section, and all of a sudden she looks at our direction and notices were grown up twins that look alike, and then having the feeling of approaching her, but you don't because its like in your mind your other half can sound like you and do the same. I tell you its a curse. Its fine when your a kid, because its cute and all, and you can get away with a lot of things, but not when your all grown up.I know i said a lot of negative things here, but thats just how i feel. For those of you that ever get a chance to know me or know me, Im a good humble dude. Its just my own inner conflict feelings that im battling with at this time of my life, and so far it doesn't seem to be going away. Im a virgin and my other twin is not, and battling with these insecurities has made it hard for me to do the man deed. I don't know, maybe facial plastic surgery will make me feel different as a young man. Anyways., these are my thoughts and feelings on the twin topic, you guys take this long comment of mine as you like.

I knew twins like that. One was a lot like u he eventualy found a girl that could tell them apart based on the fact she wasn't attracted at all to the brother... which would seem weirdbeing identical and all but her pulse would speedup when pete walked in but never around dylan. Hopefully you'll be as lucky or try dying your hair and tinting ur eyebrows and growing facial hair...? Though u probably tried that... :)

Well so far it still hasn't happened yet. Although my confidence has gone up a lot since I made this post. I read several books on confidence, flirting and some PUA stuff as well, and its helped increase my self esteem as well. The man deed still hasn't happened yet, but I am making progress. The whole different look thing has come to mind, I have long mid-long hair now and plucked out a few eyebrows but not a lot, that way I can keep the man look. Will make other changes as the days progress, but nothing too drastic. Thanks for the advice who ever you are. And your story about him finding a girl, how the hell did that happened? To me it doesn't make any sense. Its like women have this 6th sense that men don't have man...weird, its like they know. How old was this twin you say when he finally got the girlfriend? Older then 26 or younger?

i agree. my twin brother SUCKS. he's dumb, lazy and fat. originally we had all the same friends in high school but he ruined it for me and now like him i've lost them as friends. he only knows how to take and not how to give anything. he did drugs and became psychotic and caused intense drama for my family for years. i broke up out of a long term relationship and stopped all of my hobbies just to try to help him. but he's still dumb and lazy and the most annoying person in the world and still coming in and out of rehab / care homes. he's basically useful and i am extremely ashamed of having a twin. he was so embarrassing that i had to delete him from facebook and i hid for years because i was so ashamed. nowadays its best if i dont mention i have a twin because hes my shadow. i hate when he says that we are a team when in reality he contributes nothing to anybody. he has no friends just people he relies on to give him medication and money from social security he gets for being a psycho. if you ever find that your twin has a drug problem or similar, avoid him like the plague!!!!! he will ruin your life like he ruined mine. i just cant wait to finish my graduate studies so that i can move from this state and never have to feel like i have to waste my time to help him or take him out ever again!!!!

I'm a fraternal twin, and I love my sister very much, I couldn't imagine life without her. Having said that, I relate to your problem about having to compete all the time. I struggle a lot with jealousy issues, as I feel that my sister got all the talent. She's amazing at art and really clever. Like right now, I'm sitting here writing this while crying, because I studied really hard for this exam, and she didn't at all, and yet I failed and she did amazingly! I hate how jealous I feel, but I can't help it.

My twin and I share a soul, we don't know if we're identical or fraternal as mom never checked, but we look identical. Anyway she and I share a heart and I can't fathom living a foot away from her. She is a gift, like every twin's twin is a gift. I could never spit at that blessing. God, science, zeus or whoever he is knew I needed her, i guess.
When we were four we walked through a park hand and hand and agreed that, "wherever we go, we'll hold hands."
We're twenty now, and she steals all the blankets at night. We'll never part.
sidenote, we're probably going to have to marry twins or two guys who won't mind sharing a life with one another :P

I am a twin, I have a brother who is 38. We had a good friendly childhood together, played together, were good at most sports together but I was the more outgoing but physically weaker. When we fought it was mad! we fought like dogs but always made up and I always loved my brother but as we aged I began to worry for my brother. I am a very competitive, sucessful, a professional and my brother is the polar opposite. He is unemployed, very well qualified with two degrees, a gambler, a drinker,a loner but a lovely person who people do like but just very quite.

I feel for him every day, I feel guilty everytime I have a happy moment because I wish he had. I am younger by 5 mins but really I am older in mind by many years. I have worried for over 20 years that he would kill himself, now ironically I am depressed and mostly due to his failures. People have told me he is not your responsibility, but he is my twin! I would cut my kidney out for him! cant people understand that?... I have to get over this as it is killing my life with my wife and kids, I do know my brother is taking advantage and has been bred to be lazy by my mom, she really did everything a parent with twins shouldnt do when we were young i.e. dress the same, same class, call us the twins, etc

I need to know that it is ok to suceed while he makes up his own mind and plays out his own life, I dont mind meeting him every now and then but any more than that makes me feel very uncomfotable and depressed. This may seem strange to read but beleve me it is no fun for me, I often wished I just had a regular brother. I reckon my mothers decisions for us as twins ruined our lives. Has anyone any experience similar?

I'm a fraternal twin (one minute apart caesarians), but I feel like my other twin is better looking then me even though she says I'm prettier! I'm not blind, even though we are both thin she still has a slimmer face than me and more angular features and even though I'm as skinny as her my face is more 'rounded' and 'softer looking', and she matured way earlier than me (if you know what I mean). We fight not just verbally but physically and we are 16! Don't get me wrong, we literally annoy each other and sometimes I feel like punching her but we do have the deepest conversations and I can be 100% honest with her and I do love her so much and could never be apart for more than a few days! When we fight we really fight and tear the roof off the house and our older sister hates us for that and finds us immature and annoying and childish but she just doesn't understand. We drive our parents nuts. My parents and friends are constantly comparing us and I feel like my friend appreciates my twin more because she's better looking and 'cooler' and has been asked out by better looking guys and I have never 'truly' been asked out. I'm the younger twin and more creative musically and artistically (I don't mean to be vain saying that by the way!) But she's the athletic twin, we vary in smartness like I get a high score in a test and then she'll get the higher score and so on and so forth. We are both introverts and really shy and insecure. My twin is older than me by a minute and always tells me that she's jealous of me for being younger and left-handed because it makes me even more rare because twins are rare as it is! I used to have so many scratches on my arms due to fighting with her, I would like to say that I'm the nicer twin but we are basically just as bad as each other, I'm a huge hypocrite I guess and I judge people which is so bad I have to stop! But I'm also too nice to people, I smile and laugh way too much. People actually do call her the 'evil twin' and me the 'nice twin' because she looks more intimidating than me. I feel like both my parents favour my twin because she's more athletic and prettier me. My dad likes her more because she's more like him and my mum likes her more and my older sister too who is so freaking smart it's intimidating so I'm kind of just 'hanging' somewhere in the middle if you know what I mean. My mum buys her whatever she wants and when I ask my mum for something I like (and I rarely ask for stuff) she kind of hates my taste in things and feels like I have 'too much stuff' even though I swear I don't have as many new clothes as my twin does. To all the twins out there, do you think your mum or dad favours one twin over the other and also, do you feel like the angular twin is more attractive? Because when I see a set of guy twins I always find the angular twin more attractive and I feel so bad because I know how the other twin feels because even though I'm not chubby in comparison to my twin I look more rounded even though I'm not in relation to other non twins. I don't want to sound vain I really don't and I'm not saying this to gain sympathy votes or anything but I just want honest opinions shared between twins please, thanks so much for reading this huge write up! I appreciate someone listening and responding, and there are good things about being twins - I feel proud to show her off when we are together but this is a negative rant so... yeah! *virtual hug* :)

look, You are both young. When I was your age we too fought too.Please take this advice, develop your own individual friendships, become your own person, encourage your twin to do same. At 16, your body hasnt even deveoped, dont get hung up on shape, size and who is better. I know you are teenagers and adolescesents so that may not be easy but people change drarmatically in their 20's. Keep the chin up

I have a twin sister and we do fight a lot (especially because we share a room, and have two classes together) but we do love each other and I would never want to be separated from her for more than a few days. We are best friends, even though we fight over stupid things, but I honestly don't know what I'd do without her.

I had same thing growing up with my identical twin. I'd lay there in bed, she always had tohave thee last word, the last sniff, the last cough. I could barely breath and she wanted to torment me. So she got a little tiny 2 X 2 purse, with a long strap she'd wear around over her head, and this little tiny purse had a big snap on it. When she got tired, she'd just snap it. That snap would ring in my ears, it had a high pitch sound and it drove me nuts. We're 51 and still don't get along and she's in CA and I moved to NC and still fight texting, finally, I figured she is negative energy always has been, and we're not speaking... Oh the stories I could tell you. We lived just like you two did.

I have a fraternal twin. We are both freshman and highschool. This article could not have been more true, while I excel in academics AND sports she is more of the social butterfly. she always decides to steal my stuff. we have even gotten to the point where we say we are having seperate birthday parties because we don't like the others friends. Everyone at school says they want a twin but they don't know what it's like.

I am a twin and I have not talked to her in seven years.She was always evil and did not want me to have friends.She did a lot of bad things to me.I had enough I could not take it any more.So I hope you do not want a twin. Fed up with it

I don't know if ull still be online but i wanted to say this inspired me to do my English assignment on twins, what it's really like to be one and the differences between us and ways people treat us. I emphasised more than anything how we are not the same.

Thank You for inspiring me! if I hadn't read this I would never thought of the idea and wouldn't be confident enough because its so personal to me

Wow! I am a twin as well and your story is like a mirror. She always steals my headphones! She physical Im academic...she does ballet.....i do martial arts..all my friends compare me to her....most end up not being my friend and stay hers....half my friends are only friends with me because of her

I completely agree with everything you just said. I have an identical twin and we suffer with so many of the same issues. Not that long ago we made an agreement that I wouldn't take an art class with her if she didn't do track with me. Just a moment ago she told my parents she was planning on doing track. Of course I freaked out and was like what about the agreement? But she denied the entire thing. My parents took her side on it, like always, and now I have to endure track season with her. SO frustrating. But thank you, your story made me realize I'm not alone in it! and no, being a twin is not always a good thing like you said.....

my twin never gets in trouble and i do. they do everything in this article except we have 2 share a small room and she doesn't crawl though the window

I'm a twin and were supposed to be identical like it says on our birth record, but we look nothing alike. Ive got brown eyes shes got green shes paler than me too and her eyes are much larger. She is 1 minute older than me, we have 2 share a room and will have 2 till one of us moves out. She is the clever one where as I am good at nothing but use to be the one with more of a jokey personality but now shes decided to mimic that a bit. We get referred to as the twins or twinnies even by our closest friends. My teachers compare me and her one teacher even had a go at me at parents evening saying I am a twin we are the same I should be better and am stupid... This really hurt me being sensitive I was almost reduced to tears. All the other teaches do the same but more discretely. One proud moment of mine was beating her in our whole school talent contest were I sang, but now when I mention it she pretends it never happens. We argue everyday she always hurts my feelings I never say anything back that will insult her i don't want anyone even her to feel as miserable as I do. I got bullied for two years and never cried once until he insulted me grandad who was ill at the time and always said "hello your the dumb one right?", now I don't share anything about myself that if in the wrong hands could be used against me. Now some people think I'm strange and say that we are the twins that dont talk even though i use to talk a lot before that. We have the same friends so I can never get away from her, even when we first started school she followed me and tried to take my friends, but sadly all my best friends moved country and I was to young to keep in contact with them. We're in a lot of the same classes. I have to share so much with her, no one truly understands that we're not the same person. My mum understands the most but even she sometimes treats us like we're the same but not intentionally. My sister hasn't seen my dad for years and hates him for reasons no one knows why I doubt even she knows. He has said some mean things but I understand that u have to be forgiving If I wasn't I'd never see my dad again until the day he died like I think will happen to my sister. Sometimes my dad rings up and says 'how's the other half' this upsets me a lot saying I'm half a person without her. I've asked him why he says that and he says 'because your the same only your more stupid'. I got a c in my maths gcse 100% in a foundation paper my sister however got an a* in the higher paper that I wasn't aloud to take because I'm not "academically capable". I told my dad and my nana and grandad what I got however they showed no emotions and said is that supposed to be good?" then said "what did your twinnie get?" I told them she got an a* and they had a go at me for not doing better than her like its a competition. Then I got an a in part of my English the same as my sister but didn't want to tell my dad he asked however and I said a then he asked what my sister got I said the same he was incredibly happy this hurt me more than when they were annoyed with me and gave me complements so did my nana and grandad they thought "I was to dumb to get an a in anything", my sister always complain about having a twin saying how much she hates me and how hard it is being a twin yet how can she not realise its much harder being her twin than it is her being my twin. I always told myself academics isn't everything it's the person u are that matter, but now even I am starting to believe maybe this isn't true. We've never got along accept when we were very young that was when she use to follow me around even then we had fights and arguments. Today however she decided to hit me on the back because of a petty reason I went into the bathroom first, later on she said I can't sing, which stung me as that's the only thing I'm mildly good at she said I'm thick and so low academic that its unbelievable, even though I struggle and its not been confirmed or anything but we think I'm mildly maths dyslexic. She shouted retorts at me but my only comments were I know I am what can I say back when I know what she says is true and believe it or not I still didn't want to hurt her feelings.Every time I'm better at something she denies it which is hurtful. I do everything for her treat her kindly and with respect yet she can't see that she can't possibly understand the cruel life I have. Yes I may be a bad sister but for most reasons I can't see why. Why is it worse having a sister that's so much dumber, less pretty, less perfect, when she is pretty perfect herself except maybe parts of her personality.

I don't like how we're treated or how I am treated we are NOT the same person as I have just proved and if there are twins out there that u know please don't call them twinnies or the twins or define them as one person in any way. If anything all you'll make them turn bitter, hate you and each other for the rest of their days as well as resenting each other for ever being born.

I'm 14 I send this to you all in confidentiality and in hoping that you don't make the mistake of treating twins how we have been treated ourselves. Unless they like being defined as the twins you will never ever be considered as a friend to them until u can treat them like their different people. How would u like for u and someone u hate for example to be considered as the same person?

I am a twin also. It always bothers me. DO you know how to help with that. She always makes excuses to be mean or tease the boy I like also.

My fraternal twin and I are wildly different people as I am an intellectual and she's more... wacky. But I can't imagine life without her; I love her so much. Whenever we fight, after a certain point we just realize that we're letting something pretty pointless get in-beteeen our relationship, so we stop.

You guys should have a heart-to-heart or something and reconcile with each other. It's not good for either of you to be enemies for the rest of your lives.

Yes, but how can you do that if the other dosent want to

I have a twin sister and its so frustrating because she is prettier skinnier and more popular. We are always compared. Her friends hate me and my friends.. You know actually I have no friends. We share like two but they like her way more then me. She acts like she doesn't know me because she is embarrassed. I let her west some of my clothes but everyone ends up thinking I should just give it to her because she wore it better.

Exactly! This is what it's like for me too....

having twin can be a fabulous story , on the other hand it can be a real unfortunately life

i am Thai . i AM 19 yrs old. i am triplet. i hv one brother and one sis.i only hate my bro. i hate and feel disgusting when i must speak out his nickname or name . i dun want to look at his face , i never talk to him for three yrs. i feel so frustrated and anxious. he propel me to be social phobia and avoidant personality disorder and now i get depression .sometimes i feel regretful and so mad that i want to suicide. sometimes i hv headache when i am near him. my family expect me to reconcile with him cos before age of 15 we r true friend. but now we r true foe. i expect too that one day in the future we can reconcile but the feeling and wound in my heart cannot recover . this conflict occur by i am introvert .one day he bring his 10 friends to my home then i hate of being socialize and i love privacy so from that day i stop talking to him then he dun stop disturbing me he always gossip me with my aunt or his friend. he blame me that i am introvert i am loner i am depressive i am anti social i am ladyboy and so on. and he always follow my step too like the way of thinking . cos i want to be unique dun want whoever to follow my step. Nowadays my life ruins . he destroy my whole life . my real happiness was gone. i hate him . i want him to die soon. he is so disgusting. he is so cruel. he is **** **** **** **** ****. jinx i feel terrible and insecure so much . it likes i hv shadow that follow my life every single hour . i cant stop my anger . it destroy my positive thinking. i wanna kill him. TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Look on the positive at least u have a sister that u like. I think the three of you should go somewhere and talk I'm sure now your older he'll be at least a bit more mature... But then again I can't imagine speaking to my sister much when I'm older :/

I am a twin & i am the older one. Personally, i think being a twin is, i wouldnt say special, but just lucky. Lucky that you had a soul mate, a best friend that wouldnt leave you no matter how much you fought. But i think what sucks being a twin is constantly being compared & judged. People around you would always love to know who's the 'smarter' one or the 'prettier' one or the 'nicer' one.

I wouldn't say we're lucky I'd say that it depends on what ur twin is like and their characteristics I'd like my sister if she changed a lot about herself so I guess it depends

You Find Out That Your Boy/Girl Friend (Partner) Is A Twin(identical)
And They Have Both Been Sleeping With You At Different Times ...Making It Look Like The Same Person.. What Do U Do if you get to know?..

Dump them or find out which is the partner u wanted to be with and were in love with, they shouldn't of tricked u i don't actually see why ur partner would want her sister 2 sleep with u but I'm sure ull sort it out. And remember their not the same people surely they must be different in some ways so I'm sure ud want to be with the one u love not the other

I am 14 and have an identical twin sister it is so irritating because my parents prefer her to me and we always argue but my mum and dad always take her side. I hate my twin sister and she would be a much better friend than a sister and sometimes i wish that we were no related. Also we always argue over if this thing is mine or hers even though it WAS given to both of us :(.

I feel the same I'm also 14 and have an identical twin sister and I'd say I'm similar to u my mum has always seemed to prefer my sister because she use to dance and my sister wants to be a dancer sometimes I'm ignored for hours although I'm not sure it's intentionally but it's because she to buddy with my sister. Now for instance I've been sitting upstairs for hours and she hasn't even noticed I'm gone. I wouldn't be friends with my sister if I didn't know her she can put on an act at school that shes really nice but if u get to know her you'd find she's really not. I wish everyday that I didn't have a sister just because of how much we fight and are compared. We always argue about things that our both ours to. We even share the same room and will until one of us moves out and that won't happen anytime soon :( wbu do u have to share a room??

Thank you! I'm tired of all those people who either don't actually have a twin or got really lucky and have a sweet twin of the same gender saying twins are awesome! Im a 13 year old girl and have a twin brother. I'm required to love him, but I don't actually like him at all. Hes constantly bossing me around and hurting me! Its so bad, I only have friends with normal siblings and none of them fight nearly as bad. Another even worse downside is he's always there. I'm really worried about high school next year. He'll see everything! Y'all are lucky y'all have the option of telling your family about every little thing in your relationships. Every time my brother sees one little thing he'll tell all of my family and completely embarrass me. Imagine going to prom with a twin. Prom is supposed to be a special moment just for you and your boyfriend that you have the option of sharing with your family about. Sharing prom with a twin will SUCK. Also, with a twin, you don't get spoiled nearly as much. Especially when you get older and your stuff gets more expensive. In most cases, one twin is a whiney brat and gets spoiled more than the other(in my case it's my brother, he gets everything and I rarely get anything). I know I'd be much happier if my twin was never born.

that is exactly how things are in my home. im a 15 year old girl and have a twin brother.He gets almost anything he wants. Everyone in my house has their own iPhone or iTouch including him, the only one who doesn't have one is me, and it makes me feel so left out. my parents always compare us, and we always have to share, since my parents never want to buy two of the same thing. My twin always says that i have easier teachers just so that it seems that he works harder than me. if i could have any wish in that world, i would wish i wasnt a twin. Sometimes when i get jelous of those who dont have a twin, it makes me want to break down and cry, especially since i know that no matter what i do, i won't be able to change that fact that i have a twin brother...

i have a twin sister but we are not identical.
we are also born on christmas day.
i like being a twin i am lucky!!!

We're also born on Christmas! :) I'm an identical twin (not many can tell me from her, even parents get us confused if they aren't looking at us (we sound the same)) We get on well and are both smart and have lots of friends together and separately. We almost never fight, we share clothes and live together. I don't understand how some twins don't get along, I've never met another pair of twins who aren't good friends.

i am 50 and identical twin with my sister we r always called the twins by family and i still hate that we do not get along at all b/c we r always fighting over who had things worse and who is right we can instantly bring each other down and i feel that it is always my responsibility to make things all rainbows and butterflies b/c my life at this point is easier than hers we both had terrible lives until age 30 i really hate my parents!!!

you are insane! i am a fraternal twin and my brother and i have the most amazing realtionship and i am only 13 keep that in mind. people call us freaks and weirdos because we dont mind sleeping in the same bed. and i actually feel like i sleep better when we sleep in the same bed! we have an amazing relationship, we think alike and laugh all the time! we may get in to a fight then like 5 minutes later BOOM were best friends again. our fights will end in us laughing! a few months ago i went away for 2 and a half weeks and then when i came back and saw him i started to cry my eyes out! i didnt relieze how much i had missed my other half and how much he means to me till that day! we always have a fun time together and since i am shy i depend on him a lot when we go places , we just laugh about everything and the shyness goes away. i may wish sometimes that since hes more popular than me that we might go to diffrent highschools but then again i dont..in highschool cute boys will always be at my house! and he just my big brother and who wants there big brother not to look out for them in highschool? i dont and i depend on him too much! my twin brother is like my other half and i dont think i could live without him, i have the best older twin brother in the whole wide world so i have no idea whats up with your sister and you! you guys should embrace the fact that you are twins!

I have a twin and its always hard being compared to her all the time. she is seemingly perfect to everyone and l live in her shadow. No one ever mixes up her name but I am always called her name. Its awful. Luckily I will be in college in a year and a half and we are probably (and hopefully) going to different colleges. Maybe then we won't be constantly compared or called the twins.

I have twin sister too. And I totally understnd how u feel. But even though we r different from each other and have some misunderstanding sometimes, at the end of the day she is still the one person I talked and laughed with before I go to sleep. I am proud of having a twin sister.

for some reason, i never connected with my twin like that ever before. we are complete opposites, but somehow we are still always compared and called "the twins". when one of my teachers found out that i was a twin, she totally abondoned my name and started calling us twin1 and twin2. i was so angery at her for being so unsypathetic, but i didnt want my class to know how i felt about it, so i just pretended to get over it, although i still remember that incident to this day...