The Pains That Come With Being a Twin.

Yes, I do still want a twin, and yes, I am a nutcase. I understand exactly what you're saying, and I go through a lot of the same things with my sisters. Plus the fact that me and my older sister look a lot alike, so half the people that talk to me know me as only "crystal's sister". But it's not all bad, is it?

completely understandable, lately my older sister has been driving me crazy. I thought we were past this point, but yet we're back at it ALL over again. I do believe your sister and you will grow out of it, and if she can't see the great person you really are, than she's the one who's missing on alot. There is no need for you to feel guilty or bad for anything, because everything she is blaming you for, the attention that you never asked for and stuff that came from God and also your parents/ Shouldn't she be mad at them because they gave you more attention then her, you didn't do this, you didn't choose this. You're nice, caring, smart, and a great person to know, and anybody that can't say doesn't deserve for you to be nice to.

I understand where you're coming from, but truthfully it sounds just like me and my sister, who is two years younger than me. The difference is that she is just always so immature! Hopefully she'll catch up to me soon in terms of maturity. I don't think we'll ever grow out of our differences either. Whatever I do she just comes along two years later and does it better. I'm pretty, but she's skinnier and prettier. I get along with everybody, but she is a social butterfly. I'm smart, but she is going to be the valedictorian. She's also a talented athlete and musician (I am not athletic or musical!) I just feel like being twins couldn't make things worse (yes we fought over underwear, hit each other and pulled each other's hair). I hate having to do everything first! Having to be alone and confused and figure everything out while she can just watch me and learn from my mistakes. At least we would be on more of an equal footing. Although I guess I do get to be my own person. We're so different, some people can't believe we're sisters. Anyway, my point is that most of those problems aren't just experienced by twins...

SO FUNNY!!!!! My twin brother and I are that bad except the clothes. My sister is 2 years older than me and she takes up on the clothes end where my brother leaves off. I never asked for a twin but got one anyway. I think we got cheated, other people might not think that but they apparently dont know anybetter. I have to admit though sometimes its cool because people get so surprised when they find out we have other halves.

I have a twin sister. We're identical and mirror image. She's left-handed, I'm right-handed. We're nearly always referred to as "the twins" and we share a room. But we rarely fight the way you describe. We do finish each other's sentences sometimes and we can tell what each other is thinking. In school, we had very few other friends and once, a teacher said that we didn't need anyone else so long as we had each other. We have two younger sisters and there is a year in age between them. My twin and I like pretty much the same things and have the same beliefs. In primary school, the teachers wanted to split us up, but that wasn't happening. We always got pretty much the same results in school and for our college exam results, we got exactly the same. Sometimes, people ask us what it's like being a twin and our answer is always the same; "We don't know what it's like to not be a twin."

I have to say i'm a twin, we are identical and completely different. We used to pretend we were close or act like it around our family but i knew from when i was young we never would be able to understand each other because we have gone through different experiences. I lived in the shadows while she was in the spotlight and i got everything that was bad out of life from a young age and she was able to be protected.

One day she may know how much pain i have suffered as her twin but i will never be able to love her the same way she tells me she loves me.

You should watch a film called "The House of Yes"

This made me and my twin sister laugh so much... It's almost dead on. We've gone through some extreme measures to try to get back at each other and our fights were epic. I don't think it matches the severity of just normal sibling fights. Twins have a much closer emotional bond and expect a lot more out of each other than siblings and parents relationships. Its a bond most people don't get and me and my sister understand each other very well even if we are not the same. We get a long soooo much better when we don't live with each other. Its an adventure for sure, but really it can't be compared to any other relationship. I think it is really rediculous how the Olsen twins acted so kind to each other. Twins are tough love. That's how it is but nothing will break a bond that strong no matter how big of a fight.

Get over it! You sound just like the regular kid living with siblings. My sister and I are 18 months apart. We shared a room, fought over clothes, fought over everything. We even look alike. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and find something else to whine about.

wow that sounds so tiring. But you see, there is always a good thing despite all of the bad. One of the advantages of family is that no matter what, you are connected as "family". I read somewhere that that's why people actually learn how to deal with conflict better...it's like, family member is a practice field before you handle conflict with outsiders. You are not going to always be with people you can tolerate or conform 100%.....in this life, you will always have those periods of time (short or long) where you're simply stuck dealing with people who makes you want to scream your head off, clutch their stupid brainless head and slam it repeatedly to the next wall, or even makes you want to run away to the next corner never to be seen again.
And what a better practice than with family member? With friends or outsiders, you can have "break up" easily or writting things off easily. But family member 'complicate' the matter....you can't just easily write them off, you will stuck with the fact that you're going to still have to face each other on several events and anything. So really, think of it as a practice for the times....I think it actually ironic that our level of patience and capability to working things out maybe matured through conflict with family members.

Maybe you can be more specific too with your personal things, her personal things, our general things.
Why don't you create a list of each things together with her, so you both knows which are the personal things you both consider "unborrowable" and "you can borrow but ask first"?
Start to make the list with her, you can fill your own personal things list and ask her to fill her personal things list, and special star marks for things you can't ever borrow from each other. Then cooperate to fill the things you both deem as "ours, where we both can use it together".
Then put the list somewhere you both can see- maybe you both can even make copies and put it in several places.....and do somekind of annual editing and revisions every several months, because maybe you both have new things you'd like to add on each list or maybe erase from a list.

It's just an example to sort out a problem. Every relationship has their own share of problem, and as I said, the conflict with family member is actually a good practice for us to deal with outside world. Because with family, the "I'm stuck in this with you" feeling actually may force us to deal with the conflict whether we like it or not.

Just two cents from me.

"We will always be tied together by our birthdays and genes." Don't take that for granted, ever! When you start hating her, ask yourself what you would do if she died later that day. Would you be happy with your last conversation with her? Or would it haunt you forever? You are still young. You will find that as you two grow older you may not be close but you share a special blessing. You wouldn't be you without the influence of her. Like it or not, you need HER in order to be YOU. I mean, having your own identity. Stop and think that she may feel the same way, but she may actually not. Like you said, you two are at different ends of the spectrum. All siblings can't relate to each other or don't get along at some point in their lives. Sometimes most of their lives. I am the youngest of 5 kids. My eldest sister is 42, I am 29. We don't talk unless she comes to visit my parents, and that is because I happen to be there (obligation). I was just learning how to jump when she got engaged to her husband. She hasn't invited me personally to visit her since I was 14. I don't have a deep relationship with any of my siblings anymore. My sister above me used to be my best friend, although neither would have admitted back then. We grew apart, though we still share the same sense of humor and memories somewhat. We "get" each other's humor and can belt out a random commercial jingle, TV theme song, or something we did together from the 80's, when we were growing up, and vividly talk and joke about it. We are like 2 1/2 years apart so we actually grew up together and hung out together sometimes. This post caught my attention because I am a 29 year old mother of 10 year old fraternal twin boys who are also completely different. They are even different colors, which is like a statistic of 1/1,000 I believe. I think that it is natural for most fraternal twins to want to be different and put extra effort into establishing their own identities. But, one day among many others, I got tired of the boys fighting and sat them down one day and had a talk with them. I told them they had a special and rare relationship. Not everyone gets to be a twin. I told them to think about what they would do if one of them died one day. Although twins come in pairs, it is exactly that that makes them into who they are individually, just as with anyone else who has siblings. But, twins are amazing to watch grow up. I also told them that no matter how much they get mad at each other and argue, they are each other's BEST FRIEND. Period. I said, they would not know what to do with themselves if one day their brother was gone forever. Who would they have to fight with? Or play with? And guess what, they still fight. Of course they do, they are boys and are "tweens" too. And I fear puberty because I am afraid of how much harder it will be to control them and their tempers. But guess what, I found out that they get along excellently when they play Legos together, which they are doing as I am typing this. And they aren't arguing. I'm not telling you to play Legos together. LOL Nobody understands how it is to be a twin more than YOUR twin. She gets you, how you feel. Because you shared the same problems, issues, influences and arguments. And, if you really hated her so much, the things she did wouldn't upset you in the manner in which you have related. You complain because you don't want to have this kind of relationship with her. You don't have to hate each other and I know you don't. Find something you have in common, besides twinship, and force yourselves to do something together. Don't tell people you are even twins if it doesn't need to be told. Peace doesn't come of it's own accord. Every person who has found it has had to work to actually obtain it. I haven't found it yet personally. But, I understand you on many levels. Cherish your sister. You still have a long way to go. Both of you. You don't have to be best friends socially, but she is part of you, and you are part of her, figuratively speaking. Neither of you really has a choice about that. Even if you don't like it. Like I said earlier, you need her to be who you are. So, be grateful that she has helped you become you. I hope I helped a little. I wish you both the best, individually and together.

I also wanted to include something in my previous (long) comment. You two should check out the stories of twins separated at birth only to be reunited years down the road. Most of them, fraternal and identical, say they had always felt something was "missing". Reverse that in your situation. You HAVE your twin in your life now. If she was not there, you too would always feel like something was "missing".

When you suddenly loose your Twin. You will hate that you wrote these things. It sickens me to see these things and how ungreatful you are. We certainly would NEVER be friends. My Twin whom you tried to squash the "movie like attitude" is my best friend and we did all the things you are saying do not really happen. How about doing some research and getting a conscious then writing this article. I lost my twin and it is the most horrific thing in this world. You need to get a grip and love your twin. You should seek professional help.. REALLY

I'm a mother of twins ... I feel like my experience counts for something ... lol

I have an idtical twin brother, and Im a girl.

We had the worst fist fights when we were younger, and the randomest fights.

But, most of our differences came around when friends were involded. As if we were trying to prove we are different people. Just because we have the same birthday and look the same doesnt mean we are the same.

But the more we faught, I realized we were the same for that. Both trying to prove we arent the same, and both trying to make people realize we are NOT the same.

My dad one day pointed out we like almost the same evrything; ex. sports, music, hobbies, and food. We sorta acted the same, with the arguing and odd things. We even like the same video games, movies, and comic books.

Now that we're older, we know there's no stopping it. Really. We're idnetical which means we are from teh same egg, which split in half. Now that we are older, we get along better.

It annoys the heck out of my mom that we talk at the same time saying the same thing, by ACCIDENT. And that we like the smae exact things.

We have gotten into a clothes war recently and when we were around fifteen.

I took his sweats or basketball shorts. Sometimes his hoodies. And vis versa. He even randomly barges into my room, and takes a belt.

But ALL family does that. Whether it's twins, brother and sisters, and siblings with years between.

Your sister will just have to respect your privicy, and NOT take your underwear. That's really gross in my mind, too. Why would she even WANT to do that?

If she doesnt, lock your door AND window. If she tells, she's being a cry-cry and needs to wash her own clothes. Just because your are BETTER doesnt mean she should steal them.