Losing My Best Friends

 Once I had a twin brother, now i don't. He was murdered about a month ago. I feel like it's my fault, not directly but  he went to get the dog who got out because of me and he never came back.  i feel like i set of the chain of events that eventually led to his death. but besides my guilt i feel so lost and confused are very very sad for numerous things which his death has brought.  The main thing is I will eventually be alone in this world. once my parents die. I hate not having anyone to talk to. i never realized how much i depended on him for comfort and love and just hanging out.  It is so hard knowing that the person i could share almost anything with is forever lost to me. I find myself wanting to share things with him or buy things for him. I miss his smile and his voice. i miss fighting with him. Our twenty-third birthday is coming up and all i want to do is crawl under my bed and never come out. I would rather be with both my brothers in heaven than face a birthday where i will be older then they ever will be. Being the girl in the family i always looked to my brothers for protection and advice and now its just me and mom and dad and the dog... I hate this feeling. this heart wrenching pain 
camila12 camila12
1 Response May 24, 2012

Don't give up. Your brother will be proud of you, at your 23rd birthday, and even though hes not there, he will always be watching you and in your heart.