I'd Like Understanding

My fiance and I are planning our gorgeous December wedding. We are planning our next moves as well. He is in tech school.

So far, we have been able to find out that we will get married the 28th, honeymoon until the 2nd, he will leave the 2nd, and then I will send him the courthouse copy of the marriage certificate. I will sent my necessary paperwork. We will apply for base housing and get me registered in DEERS. I will then move asap to be with my love. <3

My father has expressed his disappointment in us that we "aren't acting like big kids." He says we aren't trying to get housing and find out if it's furnished. We are waiting for the military to tell us what to do instead of getting it done. He says "he should have given him a stern talk when he asked him to marry me." I reminded him calmly that we are on military time and that we have gotten as much information as we can. We cannot start applying for base housing until we can get our marriage certificate to the base. We are doing the best we can with our situation. It really stung to be judged like that. It strikes me as unfair and unjustified.

A few questions:
1. How can we do something differently? Are we missing something?
2. How long does this process usually take? How soon could I expect to be at my love's base?
3. Have any of you gone through this process? What should I do to expedite this process?
DarleneN DarleneN
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 8, 2012

Hey, your situation is harder b/c you said he was at tech school righ? He's not actually at his duty station... so there really is nothing more you can do. If he were at his active station, he'd be able to go in and say how he's getting married and will need a house and they would take care of it. All I know is you need your marriage certificate to move in, not register. But honestly I don't think he can do much from tech school so I think you two are doing the best you can! Good luck and congrats!! I understand the parent side of it too.... they just don't understand the military stuff....mine didn't either but realized soon enough how it works.

I'm hoping they come round to things soon. thank you so much. Are you a spouse as well?

Yes I am :) . And we kind of sprung us wanting to get married on my parents haha so I understand that whole ordeal of them not understanding how things work.... but that's because they care. It's scary for them to see their daughter grow up and reality hits in that she's leaving and they have to let go. Especially since I am their only daughter it was rough for my mom to let go... hell she still sends us packages... lol But don't be too hard on them, it's because they care!

I figured my dad was just getting scared and nervous about me going out into the big, wide world. I would be that way too if I was in his shoes. I'm the first daughter to leave this far away. We totally did too. I went to my mom and said, "Oh by the way, I'm going to need to get married in two months." haha

Yeah, we were going to wait until I graduated from college, which is next spring, but decided to just get married this past summer. My parents were great and threw us a big, beautiful wedding. We are very lucky to have them!

I'm in the same position as the two of you. My fiance and I are going to get married after his BMT graduation. My parents weren't thrilled either. Just know they truly love you and want the best for you, which is why they're concerned. Trust me... I know how difficult it can be. My parents were so upset that they said I was throwing my life away. Eventually they apologized. They said they still aren't 100% on board but that they can't do much about it. Good luck Darlene! Hoping the best for ya :] If you get anymore information on the situation, please let me know.

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