I Feel Bad...

Things have really been going great lately. I recently got the position of Corps Commander at my high school AFJROTC program, I went to a drill meet yesterday and came home with three first place trophies (which is a great accomplishment since we've only been competing for 2 years and this was our first time getting 1st's) I've been talking to Rocky everyday and night since he's been at Sheppard, and I also just enlisted! All the papers are signed and now I just gotta swear in. I am still a Junior in high school and I just enlisted in what is called the "softbook program" which basically just means that I'm enlisted now and I'll go to BMT the summer after my senior year. The great benefit from doing it now is I'll be guarenteed whatever job I want. This has been our (rocky and my) plan for awhile now, both me and him enlist in the AF, but now that it is actually happening it seems like he is having second thoughts. He's at tech school right now and he's terrified that his orders will be overseas or that once I get out of tech school I'll be sent to a different base than where he is at. His biggest fear is being away from me for another 2 years or longer. Rocky wants me to marry him the begining of next year (while I'm still in high school) and then move to wherever he is after I graduate. He wants me to just be with him for a while just living the married life then after a year or two enlist into the AF. I'm flattered that he wants to be with me as soon as possible and he doesn't want to be away from me for so long but I want to just get it over with then be with him. I still want to marry him next year and my recruiter promised that if we are married before I go to BMT that I will definitely go to whatever base he is at or they will find one that both of us can be at and move us there together. I was under a lot of pressure to figure out what I was going to do asap because jobs are going fast and I can only sign up for the softbook program my junior year. But I went ahead and did what I thought was right and signed now but now I feel alittle guilty because I know it wasn't what Rocky wanted. He'll never say it though, well not now. He's being really supportive and is even joking around with me by calling me "trainee"  but deep down I know he's sad. I want to talk to him about it but everytime I try he ignores it except last night when he was really willing to talk to me and I blew that by not knowing what to say. He asked me "what were some of the reasons why you signed now" and I couldn't answer him. All the reasons I could come up with sounded lame and unimportant. if only I knew what to tell him. But I have faith that everything will work out.

Rockysgrl204 Rockysgrl204
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 25, 2010

Dont worry about it, everything will work out. He might just feel that your moving a little fast..and he just wants to be with you as soon as possible..but Im sure that everything will be okay..

itll be okay, you have to do what you want too and follow your dreams! and itll work out! i know recruiters give false promises but i previously spoke to a couple of air force both enlisted couples and they said the air force is extremely good at you keeping you together. <br />
youll be married ahead of time making it even easier and youll join that program together.<br />
give him your reasons, theyre probably not lame and unimportant at all and you two dicuss how you see the future together and just keep reminding him itll all work out and youll be together and both doing something completely amazing for your country! <br />
congratulations! btw on the position and 1st place :)