New To This....

My boyfriend of over a year just went into basic june 21st hes in the Air force, hes called once and written once. We are both turning 19 in august and i cant stand the military i feel its a form of control and im having a hard time with it. I have bad anxietys and he helped me through everything and now i have to have surgery on my kidney and he wont be here. I dont want to be selfish I support him and love him but i dont know if i can do it, i dont want to get married for few years at least and the fact there is a good possibility he cant move off base is just plain bullshit. I dont know what to do or think im just angry, i just want him home and everything back to normal. I dont know how many more rules i can take
nikkinono1636 nikkinono1636
18-21
8 Responses Jul 10, 2010

hey sweetheart...welcome to the site =]<br />
i havent been around for a while but i used to come around alot lol.<br />
but yea...this is definately no party.its hard. and for the first few weeks its hard everyday. i truly believe that this is an experience that will either make or brake you in a relationship. so i would just hang in there. if you and your man can survive bmt and tech school, you guys can make it through anything. im so sorry you have to face a surgery without your babe by your side. i know how scary it is cause i work in the O.R....but also because while my bf was in bmt i also faced an enormous situation like that....and all i wanted was for him to be there next to me.<br />
but i say ride it out for a while sweetheart. dont make any quick decisions. your looking at a few months before you could even have the choice of moving to be with him....so take it slow....<br />
<br />
good luck darlin =]

Awh well i hope it goes well with your dad! im making him tell my parents haha! I know i have to do whats best for me its scary to leave tho, but im sure it will be worth it.

yeah this website helps soooo much. Its helping me get through ALOT and im learning so much stuff that i never would have learned or known if i didnt join this. My mom wasnt too happy at first wen i told her but shes calmer and accepting of it now. My dad, well I havent told him yet. Im going out to dinner with my dad tomorrow and breaking the news to him then. Im TERRIFIED to tell my dad. hes going to flip out. But its either i make everyone else happy, or make me happy. and going with greg (my bf) is what will make me happy. If i dont go, ill regret it. As for my friends, my best friend katie, her boyfriend is my boyfriends brother. if that makes sense. So me and my best friend are dating brothers. Shes very supportive and my other friends actually are too. Just do whats best for you. Your the one that has to live with the choices you make. not them. Like the quote says "Never base your decisions off advice from other people who dont have to live with the results". Do what's best for you. Its your life not theirs.

that actually helps, i know i wanna be with him i just cant take the opinions of my family and friends getting married this young. i dont really like the thought of marriage all that much i just need to be with him. im not sure what im doing with school yet its been hard, ive been really sick and had to be on medical leave my first year of college and now im getting back into and trying to decide what to do. Its great to hear from someone going through the same thing.

that actually helps, i know i wanna be with him i just cant take the opinions of my family and friends getting married this young. i dont really like the thought of marriage all that much i just need to be with him. im not sure what im doing with school yet its been hard, ive been really sick and had to be on medical leave my first year of college and now im getting back into and trying to decide what to do. Its great to hear from someone going through the same thing.

Im 19..ill be 20th August 4th. And yeah, its a hard decision. We're not having a wedding or anything yet for a while. We're just geting a marriage license so I can go with him. It was a really hard decision for me because I got accepted into the nursing program at northwestern (a very hard program to get into, that I worked my butt off for) and Im suppose to be starting that this September. Before he left, he asked me to get a marriage license with him bc he wanted me to go with. I said i couldnt because of school and after i graduate (in 2 years) I would go. After he left, I thought ALOT about it and talked to my friends and realized that there's nursing schools EVERYWHERE, but theres only 1 him. And I cant handle being away from him for 2 years like this. So I decided to write him a letter and ask him if he still wanted to get a marriage license for me to go. And i waited very nervouslly for a letter back. He wrote back and said he wants to more than anything. And when he got his first real call on the 4th of July (i got the address call too) , he told me he couldnt wait. In the letter and on the phone, he said once he's in tech school and im able to come visit for a weekend, He's gonna send me money for a plane ticket and I can come out there and well apply for the marriage license. So ya. It was a really hard decision. You just gotta ask youself where you see yourself. Can you handle being away from him all this time? If not, would u consider a marraige license and go with him?

Thanks how old are you, he wants to get married i just dont think i can deal with it all. He is in special forces so he doesnt get to write or call as much or sometimes at all. He will most likely be stationed in nevada that is the main place his job is flying the drones or whatever. I just hate not knowing what to do, and not being able to talk to him and figure things out for me and my life.

My boyfriend left the same day...Ive gotten 2 calls and 4 letters from him already. And ya, it is a form of control in my opinion. And honestly if you're gonna stay together, you;ll have to get use to it and figure out a way to cope with it. Because the next 4 years, he's under their control. If you're not planning on getting married, the next few years is going to be a long distance relationship. There are soooo many places he could get stationed at and he's gotta stay there. I believe they get 30 days a year for leave so you'll only be able to see him 30 days a year. Just think, thats about 2 days a month. Plus any time you can go to him. But remember that costs alot of money. Me and my boyfriend are getting a marriage license once he is in tech school and im going with him. Or else it'd be really hard for me too to be away from him for that long. So you just gotta make a sure and figure out what you want and if he's worth it.