Don't Know If I Can Make It...

So, heres my story. Please don't judge on the age.

My name is Hannah. I just turned 16 yesterday, and my boyfriends name is Chris. He is 19 going to turn 20 on August 13th. This past school year was when I met Chris. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. He was in my spanish class and we talked a few times in the beginning, then he told the teacher he needed a "tutor". I was the "smart/athletic girl" and was an aide for this teacher so she asked me to help him out. I started helping him out(which he really didn't need it) and we became really good friends. Then we started texting and now I'd say were in love. I'm not anywhere near the age to get engaged/ married like some of y'all though. He used to be pretty crazy, especially after his mom passed away. I came into his life and started to settle things down. My life got pretty crazy when my parents divorced, and he came into my life and settled things down. We started to go to church together and we also decided to save ourselves for marriage no matter who we ended up marrying. Chris is just in the air national guard so he has the normal BMT time, then 6 weeks of tech school. After tech school he just has to go one weekend a month to the air force base in Little Rock, AR( just two hours away). So I just have to make it until then. We've been talking since oct 30th 2009 of last year and officially dating since Jan 1 2010 Now that we got the details in, here is the rest of my story...

Chris left for basic on June 30th. Its been a little over 2 1/2 weeks. I'm so lost without him. I have some good friends to hang out with but no one uderstands the pain I'm in. I cover it up everyday, and just push through. I'm really worried about a few things and needed some advice from some older girls that could maybe help me out. I would ask someone I knew but they just dont understand so here are my questions...

-Am I just wasting my time with this adventure, because I'm only 16? I love him, I really do, but am I to young?

-I'm mature for my age but he's already 4 years older than me, so when he comes back will he be to mature for me? & will he still love/ care/ and want to be with me? will our age difference tear us apart?
(I still have two years of high school to experience...keep that in mind. He will be starting college when he gets done with tech school sometime in late oct.)

Those are my questions for now and I'm sure there will be more to come. Also thank you to anybody who takes the time to read this. I'd love to talk to someone...
4sunshine 4sunshine
6 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I agree with everyone else. I'm 17 years old and I've been with my airman since I was 13 years old. He's only a year older than me but I don't really think age matters. Love is love. He proposed to me just 2 weeks ago and we plan on getting married before I graduate high school next year. Everyone always their own form of opinion but just remember in the end it's you who lives your life. :) I give you my best wishes and don't be afraid to message me if you need anything or just want to talk

I wouldn't worry about your age! i'm only 18 and i have been with my man since i was 13. when i was 16 i knew i loved him and wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. him and i have been through everything together. you are going to have doubts, everyone does. but you have to do what is right for you. i never imagined myself planning on getting married so young. i'm in love, i know people will judge me but i am going to do what feel right in my heart and you should do the same for you. don't give up on your relationship because of age. you have to do everything in your power, if things don't work out they were not meant to be. also i'm sure you are a very strong, mature girl. you have to be to be able to deal with the situation you are in. good luck :) i'm sure everything will be fine! if you need anything I'm here!

i am almost 16, and mine is almost 20. <br />
i am in the same boat.<br />
-your not too young. we have plans to get married. love is love. your not wasting your time if he is the one.<br />
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-i still have three years left of school. my guy has never treated me better. basic training did so much for him. we fell in love all over again when he came out. those were his exact words.<br />
things will be fine

1. I don't think that anyone call tell you whether or not you're wasting your time. I've often thought the same thing and I'm 25 years old. I'm of the opinion that age has nothing to do with how you're feeling. If you say you're in love and you feel it in your heart, then you must be, and being 16 or 26 is not going to make that any different. What does make a difference is where you are in life. Right now it seems to me that you two are on similar paths. He's decided to go into the Air National Guard (which my boyfriend is in also) and spend some time training and preparing for it. You're in high school and you're focusing on getting yourself graduated and prepared for college. So, in essence, there are some life similarities there. Unfortunately, I don't know you or your boyfriend, so it's hard to gauge where you are all at maturity wise. You seem very mature for your age which I think is great. But the military is not for everyone, girlfriends included. It means being strong and pushing through when you feel like your heart may quit beating. If you love him, and you seem to very much, you just have to remind yourself of the reasons why you're together and why this experience will be worth it in the end. Because for you and I, it's not quite so bad, but for some other girls, it is. Their men may be deployed. Their men have longer technical training. Their men are facing being stationed far away from their loved ones who will either have to move to join them or do long distance for awhile. Look at all the blessings.<br />
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2. If your bond is strong and you communicate and trust one another then I have no doubt your relationship will make it through this experience. He's coming home so the only hurdle you have to get over is spending the next eight and a half weeks apart while he's at BMT and then the six weeks he's at technical training. After that, life can be normal again. Everyone always tells me to live in the moment (which I'm not very good at doing) and I think that's what helps everyone get through the day to day of dating a military man. It's an unpredictable experience with an array of possible outcomes. You just have to try to remain positive and keep showing your love and support through and through and if it's right and you're truly meant to be together, then you can endure this experience.<br />
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My boyfriend of only four months now left for BMT on May 25. In exactly two days I will be leaving to see him graduation. I couldn't be more proud. I still have the same worries as you do, though. I wonder if we're going to be able to handle the demands of tech school and if he's still going to want what we have when he's done. There's no answer to any of my questions because it's all blind faith.<br />
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You say you're religious. Pray on it. I've been praying nightly about this situation, asking God for guidance and praying for him to give me strength and support when I need it and give my boyfriend strength and support. I can only believe that He will guide me in the direction I'm meant to go no matter where it is. But He's given me so much already. He's given me this support group full of wonderful women who I have become amazing friends with. He's made sure that I always take Travis' calls and I always receive his letters. So just have faith. <3

I fell in love with my boyfriend at 16, I'm 22 now and he has been the only guy in my life since then. Also, I have a friend who's brother and his now wife dated since grade 9 and got married in June - 10 years later. In addition to that, I have friends that are dating men... 30 and 32 years old. The age difference feels weird at first but when the maturities match as well as the personalities and life goals then there really isn't a problem. What I'm saying is that it's possible to find love at a young age and stick with it for years and years, and that the age difference really may seem weird at first, but it lessens when you reach 18/19/20. So stick it out and stop worrying about it. If your love is true, it'll last.

you really touch on age alot in this and honestly love is love if you feel its right go with it, no girl in here can tell you how you should act or do things because thats ultimately your decision. Honestly when my guy was in basic right about where you are time started to pick up and then it was down to twenty days then 10 days and then i was in his arms like I had been waiting for. No one liked that Ian and I started dating because he was crazy and outgoing and I was quiet and kept to myself but we proved people wrong, and you can do that with your guy. I can't tell you what to do I can only help :) everything happens for a reason. Write everyday it will keep your relationship strong and don't worry about him changing if he does it can always be for the better, my guy barely changed but he did, don't be afraid just take a deep breath and take life as it comes :)