So, my boyfriend is currently in tech school in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO! He just found out this week he is 'red horse' and is going to Guam! Guam ... really Air Force could you **** my relationship up even more. Distance doesn't bother me now, mainly becasue I can financially buy an airline ticket every 2-3 months to go wherever he is and it really not cost me more than $400. But Guam the tickets are like $1800 ... and thats the cheapest!!! So, my options have been limited so fast! I feel like every conversation we have is about Guam, and what is going to happen to us, and me crying !! Like believe me when I say it sucks and he is still so close ( well like 800 miles away) and I am going to see him in less than 3 weeks!

So, I have been thinking . . . I love this kid, like I know I'll be in love with him for well forever, but I know that I cannot be away from him for at least 2 years and only seeing him twice a year. I need to plan, planning makes me reassured that everything will be okay, but he just never wants to talk about what is going to happen. I always decide and he follows, but for once I want him to tell me what he wants. I do not want to say "I am going to Guam with you," thats like inviting myself to a party. It is just not done.

I have thought of a few options though . . .  and maybe people can way in on them becuase you all have insight on this topic. My mom, and grandparents, and rest of my family are all to judgement  to really see my point of few, and what is something that is reasonable.

A little background . . .
I am almost 20, finishing my sophmore year in college at PITT. Financially, I have no problem taking out loans to go to school because I am sure my parents will not pay for it if I move to GUAM. I have no problem moving that far; I already live away from everyone.

He is 19, in the Air Force 6 years will be in Guam for atleast 2.

1. Get married, live on base, go to school on base, work . . .
2. Move to Guam and go to college, rent an apartment together and live there.
3. Move to Guam go to college, live on campus
4. Stay here, and have a skype relationship for 2 years
5. Break up.

I am just not sure if i can do the 4th. I love him so much to be away from him, but at the same time it is not fair to me to be away and see him twice a year if that. I feel like I would feel better and not so depressed and sad if I was alone opposed to constantly fighting and missing one another. So really it comes down to it, is it stupid for me to go to Guam . . . is it wrong to pick up my entire life and go after him?

Advice and words of wisdom are greatly appreciated, anything would help . . .
kml83 kml83
18-21, F
9 Responses Feb 12, 2011

Guam is great.. Get married then the military will move all your stuff and pay air fair.. You will also get great money to live... Tumon is like a Mini Maui in Hawaii , I lived there 4 years and my friend got her masters degree at university of is beautiful and there is a lot to do! Anderson Air Force base is nice and so is the naval station in the south end..I wish the military would of kept us there longer.. Now we are stuck in crappy Las Vegas with no beautiful beaches... You will regret not going...UOG is an accredited university and should be able to transfer your credits and get a guam drivers license so you get lower tuition.GO you will not regret it !!!!!!!

Also, I realize this post was from a while ago, but I'm curious anyway! :)

I did a google search of "boyfriend stationed in Guam" and this popped up. My boyfriend just found out he's going to be there for 2 years as well. I'm devastated to say the least. Was just wondering what you decided to do? How did it turn out? I'm currently in the process of weighing all these decisions

SCREW BREAKING UP, if you love him you'll find a way :)<br />
scratch #5.<br />
<br />
skype relationships...are hard...but Mike and i did it. I met him in elementary school at hawaii, then i moved my 8th grade year to the sophomore year was when we started dating,( LONG DISTANCE) it the last 4 years i've seen him like 3 times :/ but if we could do it for 4 years, im sure u could do it for 2 :P (#4 is a possiblity)<br />
<br />
Guam's room and board isnt cheap. goin to school overseas is expensive!<br />
And again..when he leaves guam...are u planning on staying there????<br />
probably scratch #3<br />
<br />
Do you know what rank he'll be after tech? <br />
i know to live off ba<x>se, he has to be a E-4 or higher...<br />
So if, he's not an E-4 after tech, you guys just living together of ba<x>se wont happen.<br />
and think ,he's only gonnabe there for 2 years, if you decide to move out there...your gonna<br />
have to pay out of pocket, to ship your furniture, your clothes car..ETC. so just living together of ba<x>se shouldnt be an ideal scratch number two.....<br />
<br />
Getting married, would be a way to make things permanent but, only get married when your ready...i dont think i need to explain that one.....lmao NO BRAINER, so #1 is also a possibility...<br />
<br />
<br />
hopefully i helped shed a little light on your situation!!!!<br />
lmao good luck girl!

Thanks so much . . . wow sometimes I feel like I never win!

Ahh! My airman is at tech school at Fort Leonard Wood, Mo also! (: I thought I was alone! haha<br />
and I agree with the other girls, we can't really say what you should do but to follow your heart :l It sucks and it'd painful but I'm sure you will make the best decision possible! Try to ask him what he thinks. Good Luck!

I hate PITT actually, I am not happy here, so me moving some where else, I feel like 'what do I have to lose?' my only answer to that is if I don't go I lose him. Like I would still be going to school just there. I would still be doing my thing but in a warmer sunnier place. Is it wrong to get married though . . . so things are easier. Or do I purchase a ticket and just go in August before school and see where the path takes me. Thanks for the advice. Tonight I am going to def. compare pros and cons, and make a decision. With school its hard to not make a decision now because of transferring... idk ... life is so hard sometimes!!

I know its cliche to say, but you have to follow your heart, take a night to just sit and think, weigh your options maybe make a list of pros and cons and be honest on the list. I got lucky in having my boyfriend be stationed in the same state as me, granted he was 6 hours away I could still make the drive to go and see him. Now he's in Afghanistan for 6 months and its killing me. For me I don't think I could stay patient while he was stationed so far away, I would choose to follow him and get my degree wherever he was stationed. But if you are not married the Air Force does not cover your costs, also maybe check to see if you were to get an apartment if he could live with you, I know my boyfriend has to be put on a waiting list before he can move off-ba<x>se and if you aren't married then that list is reallly long. I guess for me I would choose to go because I have already transferred schools twice and I am used to the moving and getting settled into a new place. If you think that your life will be happier with him, then girl you do what you have to do :)

I can't really say what you should do because i dont know how you feel. Right now, my boy is graduating basic, and i have no intentions of leaving new jersey to go with him if i dont have a degree. I am a freshman in college, so i still have 3 years to go, and i will NOT leave my college without a diploma. however, i feel like if you do love him, you should pursue. just make sure you are not basing you whole life around him. think about it this way: if he was comfortable moving away to do what he wants to do, why shouldnt you feel the same? if you really enjoy PITT, then stay at PITT. think about yourself above everything, because this is the rest of your life. this will determine everything that happens in the future, and if you feel like you will have a better life in guam, then by all means, go to guam. but if you think youd rather get your degree and then move with him, then do that. dont let his career dictate your future.