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Still Getting Used To This...

My boyfriend made up his mind to leave for the Air Force a while back... I'd say about 6 months. I want to be fully supportive because I am so proud of him. But I really don't know how to get through it. He's going active so when he leaves he will be at Basic for 2 months, then Tech School for 4, Tour of Duty for 6, and then on a base anywhere in the world for 2 years. I don't like to think of myself as a needy or dependant girlfriend. But he is my best friend and I honestly am scared about how to get through it. We've been together for 1 and 1/2 years now, and he has made it very clear that he wants to stay together when he is gone. However, he does't want to get married for at least 3 or 4 years, which I understand and it's fine with me, it's just going to make things harder as far as getting to see him and traveling and such. I know that there are people out there going through the same thing which is why I joined this website. Sometimes it helps just to talk about things and let your emotions out so they don't burst out at times when they shoudn't. Ultimately, right now I'm just dreading basic training. I've set up an account and already saved over $2,000 for travel money to see him and I'm still saving. He leaves December 5th, which means he'll miss Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, and my birthday :( But I really do want him to know how much I love and support him. He keeps telling me that there's nothing to be sad about, but I can't help but be sad about the fact that things are seriously about to change.
riley110 riley110 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 25, 2011

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I know how you feel because its how i felt when my bf first told me he was joining the airforce..i wanted to b supportive like i am now but it was difficult to hear. im here for u if u need to talk

Thank you so much! My boyfriend wants this a lot too, and I completely understand, I'm big in music and I know if I ever got the chance to leave and follow my dreams then I would. He's made it very clear that we're serious and he can see a future with me and stuff, he just doesn't want to get engaged or anything until he's I guess 'on his way in life' and has his career and is settled and stuff which I also understand. Like you said, I'm just trying to prepare myself for when he really is gone! We're spending as much time as possible together and we're going on a trip in a few weeks just to get away by ourselves :) And I'm sooooo bad at overthinking things and dealing with change, which I know isn't good lol but it's just part of who I am! It's really good to have people to talk to that are going through the same thing, all of my friends are here for me of course, but they don't understand... the majority of them don't even have serious boyfriends so they think it should be easy, and it's not lol.

It's never, ever, ever going to be easy. But it gets easier. The worst part of the entire thing is going to be BMT, because by the time he deploys you will be used to him not being around so much (and I don't mean that in the negative way that is came across!). The worst part of BMT is the first three weeks for you, but he'll be hating it for the first five weeks. After the third week you should have gotten a phone call and letters should have started. Write him EVERY single day. I thought I was being annoying with it, but Robbie told me that after the shittiest of ****** days, he knew that on the days when they had mail call, he had a letter from me to look forward to. No, he's not getting shot at or in some secluded location, but being plucked from your family and friends and having no contact for awhile gets to them. I was the one that talked Robbie into going and I only had three months to prepare for him leaving. It is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to our relationship. Your boyfriend will come back a grown, respectful Airman. :) It's an awesome thing to be a military s/o, so stay strong. You may think he's your rock, but when you enter the world of military, they lean on you 100%. Let him know when you're sad, but let him know he makes you proud! Sorry I rambled. :)

Haha it's okay all this talk is really helping! I ramble too :) I do get sad lol and he feels bad, but I try to explain to him how proud I am of him and that I'm just going to miss him! I'm really hoping everything you say is true :) He's already a GREAT and mature guy. He said for me to only write him once a week because he wants to keep up with every letter... But the more I read the more girls say that guys loved getting letters! So maybe he just thinks that now? Idk he's so excited about doing this right now that I don't think he really thinks about it being hard or him not having anyone there you know?

Me and Robbie both didn't think I was going to write that much, either. But when he left, it sounds weird but for me, it was like I was talking to him. I didn't write in letter form, I wrote like I was looking in his face and having a conversation with him. And so it was hard not to write him everyday. I think once he gets there he'll change his mind. If not, write him everyday, but send them all once a week. :) I totally get it. Robbie didn't think it was going to be anything like it was! I didn't mean to come across as your bf is immature! I just meant Robbie was mature, but after BMT he pulls my chair out for me and opens doors for me and stuff. I'm not into the chivalrous stuff, but that just blew me away. :)

I know how you are feeling. My bf decided to join the air force with in 7 months of us going out and singed up around then too. I was pretty sad inside. The time leading up to him leaving became harder, but when it was time for him to leave (oct 4th) everyone said it will get better. But i didn't really believe that basic will get better after the 1st&2nd week. But I'm in WOT 3 and it is soo much better than the other weeks. I can honestly say all those girls were completely right!!! Im the one tho who doesn't want to get married anytime time soon but going thru basic in some ways has changed my mind slightly lol, you never know he could change his mind too ;). We have been together for a 1yr & 5 months, he also made it clear that we wants this badly which is great but for me also puts pressure on me evn tho i want this badly too! but as my bf has told me from the start "just take it day by day nd try to too stress to the extreme" lol. Things are about to change in your life, the only thing you can do is to do your very best!!! and thats all that matters :), & try to focus on doing whats best for you as a person and also your relationship. Also spend as much time with him as possible!!!!



if you ever need to talk I'm here for you, i may not know every small detail since I'm still learning a lot. lol but i will help or just listen if you ever need to vent. all the girls on here are really nice and helpful so its great that you joined!! also if you have a Facebook, look up AFWingMoms page & USAF Basic Military Training page....these pages are great and the people on it are so helpful!! you can also add me on fb if ya want! don't worry girl, we are all here to help you!

Thanks! I certainly will! The thing is I'm perfectly fine to wait to get engaged and married and stuff, I don't want to be married yet lol. But I just feel like it's going to be hard to see each other and stuff especially if he gets put somewhere far away. Your now fiancee just graduated, and I know that we won't be engaged when he graduates lol, because he's not ready for that.

I most certainly know how you are feeling. I was scared about going through this, seeing as how my fiance (bf at the time) is my best friend. Trust me, it's hard, but most certainly worth it. My airman just graduated a few weeks ago, so everything is fresh in my mind. If you ever want to talk or have questions, just let me know.



Me and 2 others girls have just recently created a forum just for Air Force girlfriends, fiances, and wives. We would love to have you join and to help you and support you throughout this journey.



It is a private forum so that way not just anybody can read it. You will have to register first, then we will approve you and you can start reading our forums.

http://www.lovemyairman.com/forum/index.php