I Am a United States Air Force Girlfriend

Im A Usaf Boyfriend So Maybe The Ladies Can Help Me Out!!

By: jasonsbora

Written on February 4th, 2012

Like a lot of the stories i've read on here we met a few months before she left for BMT. BMT was bad but do-able. Phone calls and letters helped a lot and i stayed busy with work. Once the graduation came and i spent a few days with her up til she left for tech school. I started doing some "homework" about tech school which like a lot of you was Sheppard AFB. I didnt like what i was reading at all. One thing to be the girl with a boyfriend in the service its a whole new ball park when your a boyfriend with a girl in the service where they outway the women 10-1. Then i read all these STD stories and rapes that go on in the military. I have to tell you it bothered me to an extreme level. So she gets to tech school and she is calling me everyday and to ease my mind about things but then i keep hearing about this friend. Well in their dorms she has a roommate its a woman of course so thats who i assume she is talking about. Later after talking about things she wants to do on "free time" like taking up swing dancing and outdoors camping and such she finally mention her friend was a guy because of me trying to hint around and find out. Ok everyone has some jealousy in them if you care and love the person you with you dont want anything or ANYONE to come into the middle of it. But i do trust her to not do anything crazy. I just like a guy being so close with her and then for her to call him her friend when she only knows of him for either a week or 8 weeks from BMT. Never was told how she met him. She also only calls him her friend, i have a problem with that because when i talk about my friends i call them by their names. I feel like she is being cautious with me about hanging out with him and i told her why cant she hang out with other girls from her squadron. 1500 miles apart is tough enough and even tougher being a new relationship. I know on my end i stay clear from any women other than my family just because of the respect i have for her i wouldnt want to feel that way about me and some girl hanging out with me. She mention that her friend was going to hang out with her and take up swing dancing with her then when i see her she can teach me. Im not into dancing and i'd rather her learn with me together than some other guy have his hands on her. Should be my hands only. Then the camping idea came into my mind and lets just say we dont want to go there.
Now that i have rambled on lol any advice from other boyfriends, husbands or girlfriends, wives or loved ones about my situation. AND yes i have told her about that i didnt like what i was hearing and that it bothered me i have still yet to hear a response form her. As a matter of fact she said just this morning she was cleaning her room naked alone because her roommate was gone. Then this loud siren started going off she put me on speaker phone to see whats going on and then next thing i know i hear a bunch of voices and her yelling get out im getting dressed then ran to the phone and told me she would call me when she could. DO YOU SEE WHERE IM COMING FROM NOW! This is first week of tech school i dont think i can take 55 more days of this crap.

By: jasonsbora

Age: 31-35

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10 responses

J0lty

:( hang in there. I don't think she was as committed as you were which is a common problem in relationships. You'll find someone who you'll trust implicitly and explicitly to love and respect you. You'll have no doubts about that person and they'll WANT you to trust them. I'm sorry she hurt you.

Feb 14, 2012
1 like
jasonsbora

So yesterday after she said she was tired and wanted to take a nap she said she was going to call me back later that night. There is a two hour time frame, and she never called or texted me back. With trying to get my words together so they came out right this is what i had to text her in many messages.

" I thought you were going to call me but I can see you didn't. now its my turn, it seems that even though we love everything about each other only one of us understands the other, i keep getting my feelings hurt and when i try to express myself to you you make me feel like im in the wrong, i try to be understanding of your ways but when it comes my turn im not being fair about it. You say i dont understand your friendships with guys which bother me, that im suppose to ok with you hanging out on a one on one basis, my heart is confused and i have a bad feeling about the way this relationship is going. I have enough hurt already so please be understanding when i say i cant put my emotiosn on the back burner anymore. I cant keep sacrificing my feelings and they way i feel the relationship should go, i dont feel im asking for much, i was falling for you but i can see we have a big situation that we dont see as the same. Im not willing to give into this with everything else i feel that im accepting to be ok with, the distance kills me but i kept moving forward with hopes to see you again, the communication is not all there and i know the circumstances and time frames but if the tables were switched i know i wouldnt wait to call or text you to get that little boost of energy from the response i would get from you, my steps in this relationship are no longer running with you, they have slowed from long strides to a fast pace, to a steady walk, to dragging my feet, from me carrying my feelings and emotions that i have built with you feeling down and out about my decision that I no longer feel that we can keep this up. You have a bright future and a long career road ahead of you that i was willing to be apart of and support you along the way. But like our parting back in texas, i believe that may have been the parting of us in whole. I cant keep thinking of the thoughts of you with someone else while im back home 1500 miles away, my thought are this if i meant more to you than any friendship that you think you can build there then my only request of you not hanging out with guys shouldnt be a big deal for you to handle. Call it jealousy,pride,love or stubborn, but i know if the tables were turned i would have no problem doing as you asked knowing that my love one many miles away is asking because of the passion they have in this relationship. With all this said and everything out on the table i have given you my heart, part of my life, my time which is irreplacable, my breathes which i cant take back, and words that came from depth from my heart, like the wings on a bird that give it freedom to fly where ever it wants i also give you the freedom to make the friendships you so seem are to important to let go to find true love that stood in front of you for a short time, that was real, that was honest, that was caring, and look into you for completing them, this Monica i feel is the end of what could have been a Beautiful realtionship.

Feb 5, 2012
1 like
- jasonsbora
  And because i was feeling bad and horrible i slept only a couple of hours and these words came to me to share with her and now with all of you,
  I hear a caged pretty bird singing her song, i feel that you have been in there for way too long, as i open the doors to set you free, i hope your decision is to come back to me, i wish you the best in everything you do, just know that everything i said was meant for you. The days will go on and pass us by, there will be a lot of moments that i will cry, i will stand strong for its what i know, but just know that our past was not just some show. It was as real as the words i say, and until i hear from you i will be waiting for that day.
  
  Feb 5, 2012
  1 like
AFWife318

Oh i kind of have been experiencing the same thing. My fiance got sex advice from a "friend" but here I come to find out it is a girl, I was pissed. But anyways there is no need for her to be with this other guy like you say she is. I think you really need to put your foot down and tell get that this just is not acceptable. If you trust her, make sure that she knows that.. make sure you tell her other wise she will come back by saying that you do not trust her. Taking dance classes together is not acceptable either. I think maybe you should try putting her in your shoes and giving her a hypothetical situation. Such as with my fiance.. I asked him how he would feel if I wen to get sex advice from a "friend" which would happen to be a guy. He realized where I was coming from and now things are so much better. I personally think that Tech School is much harder for us S/O's than BMT was because during BMT they had to oppritunities to become unfaithful or even for us to suspect it. But now that they have freedom it is hard for us to not be selfish and want to talk to them, and not share lol (for me anyways). But I really think that she needs to be made aware that what she is doing is not respectful to you or to your relationship together. I wish you all the best!! If you ever need to talk just message me :)

Feb 4, 2012
2 likes
- jasonsbora
  I have to tell everyone that it is very pleasing to me to read your comments and makes me feel like its not just me or im being selfish for not wanting her to be hanging out with a guy one on one. I finally got to talk to her today and tell her exactly what i think and i dont like it. She got very quite and then when she did speak it was not understanding of my concerns. I told her it has nothing to do with trust because i do trust her i dont the guy i dont want to know the guy and like that guy i have the same private part and when he starts to think with that head and they are alone he can over power her, i told her about getting into situations you cant get out, so why put yourself in that situation. She tried telling me that its just being friends and that even if they were hanging out they wouldnt be technically alone because there would be other people. When i tried telling her about why i feel this way because of past relationships she said i was making her feel like crap because i was comparing her to my past girlfriends. NOT true! Im sharing my feelings on my new relationship and why i dont like certain situations because of whta happened to me, I dont see how she sees herself being compared unless there is a guilty conscious. Im so frustrated right now its the only i have a serious problem with nothing else. How hard is it for someone if they want to keep a good thing going that they cant sacrifice not hanging out with guys unless its a group thing. Doesnt seem hard. Then she tried telling me that if i wanted to go out and get a drink with a friend that was a female then she would be ok with it. That stunned me because i would never do that just because of how it would look and the situation its self wouldnt look right being that im with her. I dont get people and i think this relationship is going to come to an end. I cant take this and its the only problem i have and will have if it continues. I dont want to sound like an *** or say the wrong thing because i do care about her but something has to give and this is one thing im not giving in on. I dont think its too much to ask for. Dont hang out with guys one on one. If its a group study or group hang out with mixture of people then no problem, i believe thats compromising with her on having friends as guys and me being ok with it. What do you guys and gals think.
  
  Feb 4, 2012
  1 like
- AFWife318
  Hun my goodness... I feel so bad for you. You seem like a very genuine person. In my opinion.. a man that many girls would be lucky to have. If she cant sacrifice her friendship with him then she doesn't care for you like she should. A relationship is about give and take.. it seems as if she can not do that. I do not understand how she can be so uncaring. She says that is the tables were turned and you were out with other girls that it would not bother her but I do not believe that. And if it did not bother her personally I think it would be because she did not actually care how she should. I think that from what I have heard you can do better. Unless she can compromise I think that you may be wasting your time. And I do not mean to sound so harsh but from what I am hearing this is sounding more and more like girls my fiance has told me about in tech school. I think that if it is this early in your relationship and she is already becoming this way, then you should not waste your time. And if she shows no emotion after you tell her that then you will probably realize where you actually stand with her. I do commend you on how committed and how much of a great person you sound like. But like I said, if she can not give all she has for this relationship.. and cant sacrifice a friend because it makes you uncomfortable then you can do better.. and find a woman that will not treat you this way. I really believe that Everything happens for a reason so what ever happens there will be good to come from it eventually. I wish you all the best what ever the outcome.
  
  Feb 5, 2012
  1 like
ginevra89

ya, I wouldnt be too happy either if my fiance would have done that. I am glad he didnt. I know there are not that much women in the AF but at least a few. And yes, friendship happens between men and women but taking dance classes is really not neccesary. I would be pissed at my fiance. I mean if she really wants to take dance classes, she should do it with you. Tech school is hard enough with all the horror stories you think about...

And yes, the women there hang out with the guys but in a group that would be totally different. Even if it was only your girl and a bunch of guys, would stil be a group. But with that guy it sounds like they are doing stuff alone and that just wouldnt be acceptable for me. I hope she will understand. And I mean they are only one week in. So I understand you it's hard that your gf is already calling a guy her friend after that short time.

But I would be like you. It is not ok what she is doing. I am here if you need to talk. Just message me.

Feb 4, 2012
2 likes
kj00

I'd be pissed, there is absolutely NO reason why she needs to be hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. I mean I'm secure with my fiance and such but as you said out of respect, we both decided to just be social with the opposite sex but not go looking for "friendships" because honestly there is no need... if it's a group setting hey that's one thing, but to individually go out of your way to hang with just the two of you and take swing dancing... that's a little weird... but that's just my oppinion. if she really respected you... she wouldn't be looking for frienships with guys in the first place.. there's plenty of girls there too.

Feb 4, 2012
2 likes
- jasonsbora
  Thankyou this does make me feel better because i totally agree with everything you said. A group environment i am all about, no big deal but to make individual guy friendships and hanging out with them im not ok and i think any reasonable person in my shoes would feel the same way. You have to make sacrifices in a relationship but im not about to sacrifice my love of my life to spend time with some other guy, because like i have also heard before, there may not be any feelings at first but like everything new the more you hand out with that person and im back at home 1500 miles away the easier it is for them to get comfortable with one another and then before you know it feelings are made and they screw up or make a mistake. It human nature. Im just down and out and with my phone call this morning getting cut very abruptly because of the siren and her being naked cleaning her room then get told i have to go i was like whatever and hung up. HRRRRR this sucks!
  
  Feb 4, 2012
  1 like
jasonsbora

"i just DONT like"

Feb 4, 2012
1 like

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