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Leaving Everything Behind

Not quite a month ago I was on here telling how my bf broke my heart. He told me he had closed off his heart to me through all of this and I was completely heartbroken and devistated. I told him no matter what I was in 100% from the day I dropped him off at the airport for BMT, but he wasn't really in it after saying that. Soon enough we slowly stopped talking and I didn't know what I was doing...

I talked to my family and friends, cried for days and weeks. They told me he wasn't ready and if another boy asks for my number give it to him and go on a date. So the last day of my last final a guy did. I started talking to my bf a little and told him about the other boy. He wasn't thrilled with the idea but only said be careful. After talking to this boy for many many many hours I told him about my relationship. How I felt and how really truly frustrated and hurt I am, saying I just don't know what to do. He looked at me and said, "I'm pretty sure you've made up your mind..."

My boyfriend comes home in just over 2 weeks for a month. I no longer want to wait for him. I love him so much, and would truly do anything for him. He was my best friend. But after he left and after what he told me, how he stopped talking to me, I just feel hurt and frustration. So when he comes home I'm making the decision to see him, talk to him send time with him, but I can't do it anymore. I can't keep pretending nothing is wrong and that he hasn't broken me. In our relationship he wasn't ready for a girlfriend, he doesn't even know himself yet. How or when it's going to happen I don't know. He'll always be my first love but the key in this is you can't go on loving someone who doesn't feel the same. I'll always be there for him and I'll always love him but damage has been done, I've been hurt in the biggest way he could have ever hurt me and he knows it. So I can't keep going through this relationship broken. I know it's time to move on.
risenangel risenangel 18-21, F May 22, 2012

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