My Milso Experience In A Nutshell

Life: Hi, I see you're all situated nicely over there. You seem really satisfied.
Me: Yes, actually. I'm really happy. Everything's going just the way I planned.
Life: Okay, here's what imma do for you. I'm going to give you this amazing, fat-free, completely delicious cake instead of your normal food. Go ahead.
Me: Sweet!
Life: There's only one catch. You can't have this whole cake. You can have a slice every now and then but then you have to give it back for a while.
Me: But... then I'd want the cake when it's gone? Wouldn't that be worse than not having the cake?
Life: Not really. You'll get used to eating salads for long periods of time and you'll appreciate the cake more when you do get to eat it.
Me: I suppose that works... when do I get the cake back?
Life: When I decide you can.
Me: So I don't get a choice in the matter?
Life: Not really. Aren't you glad you at least get to eat this salad? It's good for you. It will make you stronger.
Me: It doesn't even have croutons.
Life: Oh, cheer up, you got cake. I even put sprinkles on it.
Me: Sprinkles are lame.