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Help!

So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months now. We've been through 4 months of tech school and he's currently back waiting to get his orders for a new base. He talked to someone this week and she said to come back Monday and that he will basically be able to pick where he wants to go. Right now we are in Maryland and all of his military best friends just got based out west. So he pretty much told me tonight he's going to choose Idaho or California.

I'm about to graduate nursing school in may and when I find my first nursing job I need to stay there for a year minimum. I don't see him asking me to move with him and said he'd fly me out. Well with nursing your schedule, you don't get off for more then 2-4 days pretty much. I honestly don't know what to do.

I don't think a relationship is seeing someone 3-4 times a year for maybe up to a week. I'm about to turn 23 and am looking for someone who's serious about me and wants to eventually get married. Yes I do see that with him but can't imagine being with someone I literally never see in person and living 3000 miles away. That's just not a relationship or commitment to me. I don't know if I want to stay with hi if he goes to Idaho/Cali. Does this make me selfish or a bad person? Any advice on what I should/what I should think? What should I say to him? Any help or advice would be great!!
morgan1porgan morgan1porgan 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 9, 2013

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You have to have a serious talk with him. If you can't do the distance it's probably best to move on. I saw my guy once last year and just a handfull of times the year before. As it is now I'll see him twice this year. It gets a lot easier and I don't mind it a ton but sometimes it sucks. In the end do what makes you happy =)

it's not selfish. if you can't be happy in a long distance relationship i see no reason you should force yourself into one. my advice would to be to think about your relationship and if it would be worth waiting for him. if you can't make that sort of commitment, don't feel bad-- just move on.

Well first off, whoever told him that he can choose where he wants to go is full of it lol. He will get to pick a list of places hed like to go but that doesn't mean that he will get one of those places. Not wanting to stay with him isn't being a bad person but some people aren't cut out for the military life. Im still struggling but I do it because I love my husband. We have been married 10 months and been together for 2 years. Out of those 2 years we have spent 8 months apart. That's just the way it is. In a few months he will be deploying for 6-12 months and Im left doing everything alone and I don't even know where hes being sent to. I didn't chose this life my husband did, Im just in it for the long haul because I couldn't imagin my life with out him right beside me or 3000 miles apart. You shouldn't string him along though, if you don't want this life you need to tell him now.