A Heavy Heart.

  I haven't had a lot of time apart from my man, a day or two here and there but nothing this long. I miss him more than anything, I want nothing more than to hear his voice, talk to him and have someone who understand me better than most people. When I thought about this I never realized just how hard it would be waiting for his first letter. I find myself wondering when his fisrt letter will arrive here, even more when will my first letter arrive to him. Will he read it and smile knowing that I am thinking about him, or will he brush it aside. I find that even with how sure I am that he loves me and that we are meant for one another, each passing day causes more and more dout. It brings to surfface all the fears that I have had over the past year, I wonder what will happen and whenwill happen. I fear that t will take me to long to get through school, though I know my incentive is to finish school and get my degree, only to become Mrs. Donald H. Fitch. I find that there are so many things going through my mind though and even with each day I look into the windows of the jewler where we looked at my engagement ring I find tears swell in my eyes and when I am about to lose it I thank who ever is helping me and walk out of the store to my car, there I can let the tears fall freely.

  I'm scared in more ways than one, but I know that love will get me through and help me through thsi rough time. I hate to think that I'm putting so much hope into a situation that may be just me getting my hopes up. It might just be the depression talking but I am so unsure of everything. Though i am sure of this, I know that I love im, and as sure as I am of that I know that he will love me. I am hoping truly that things work out and that I'll have the fairy tale ending that I want.

  I was never promised a fairy tale wedding, though that's not even what I wanted to begin with. Friends and family, his parents farm, and a small ceremony leading into the reception. I want nothing extrvagant, just that he and I are married, that we are together, and that we are happy. I don't think it's to much to ask for and I don't think that I am asking the world of anyone or anything. I want him, he is my heart, and if he and I are together, then nothing else matters. I love my airman. I tell everyone, I tell the world, I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, so if he will have me forever, then I am his.

  My heart longs for him, my body craves him close, but I know that he will write soon, I hope. When I recieve that first letter, I can't tell you how happy I will be. I love my airman.

donspanda31 donspanda31
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 1, 2009

Aww that's so sweet hun. You and I are alike in so many ways and I can honestly say that I completely understand what you're going through and how you're feeling. I'll always be a shoulder to lean on and I friend when you're looking for advice or even just someone who will listen. I'm telling you right now that I had to wait for about 2 to 3 weeks to get my first letter. I let it get the best of me and started questioning our relationship and how much I meant to him. Because of my experiences, I want to warn you to not make yourself more miserable than you already have to be. I guarantee that he's missing you just as much as you're missing him and he'll write as soon as his TI will allow it. It's not your man's fault that communication will be lacking a lot in the beginning. You just need to keep your chin up, stay busy, try to be the happiest you can be, and (most importantly) remember how much he loves you. He's doing this for BOTH of you and YOUR future together. Be proud of him and show him your support. Time will start to go by more quickly and graduation will be here before you know it. You'll ultimately become stronger as a couple because of these hardships and you have nothing to stress about. He's safe right now and can't wait to see you either. Make the best of the situation. It's a good learning experience. Best wishes! :)