Worst Day Ever!!

I have had the worst day ever, this won't be long since I'm about to pass out but, today was hell, and just when I had one chance of happiness I go and **** it up, basically I received a decent amount of letters today but then my mother in an act of trying to cheer me up decided going to a movie was a great idea. I never go to movies, but I eventually agreed, I officially hate I Love you man for the fact that at 8:35 mid way through the movie my phone started to go off, I tried to grab it out of my pocket but accidentally hit the button that sends it to voicemail, when I did that I figured it was just a text until I managed to struggle it out of my pocket, it was 210, I knew as soon as I saw it that it was his pay phone number and instantly broke down into tears, I had to leave the theater, I am still crying, it's like because I never go out to movies and the one time I do this happens, I am furious with myself, he sounded so heart broken that I didn't answer his call, I don't know what to do, I am writing him the longest letter though I can't send it til monday meaning that it won't be there til God knows when, I said a prayer for him, praying that the love in my heart somehow reaches him. I was and am devistated that this happened, and I keep thinking and praying that something happens in which he either gets a chance to call again or that he knows that I am not out doing something stupid. I know that is his biggest fear and I hate to think that is where his mind may go, cnsidering how quickly it would have gone to VM ( like 2 rings I think) I hate myself so much right now, and I really just pray that he forgives me. Well that's my day in a nut shell, and now I have to try and get some sleep though it would have been easier had I have actually had time to talk to him. 

Well, I've now listened to his VM like 100 times no lie, just replaying him saying I Love you babygirl, over and over. I miss him so much that it actually hurts physically, I suddenly understand how they can say that depression actually causes physical pain, because the pains I have are very much real and I know that they won't go away until I am with him again..

donspanda31 donspanda31
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 21, 2009

Babe, I understand EXACTLY what you're talking about and how you felt. I had a horrible experience that was similar to yours. First off, my cell was dead when he got his first call. I remember crying for hours. Not only did I miss the first call but his phone connection was so ****** that I couldn't even understand the voicemail when he left his address. I was extemely unfortunate and missed not only one phone call but several. It tore me up inside to hear how sad his voice was. And then a bundle of letters came the second or third week of BMT. Finally, I had his address and could send my first letters out. I cried for hours when I read his letters though. He was afraid that I had moved on and that I didn't want to be with him anymore. It broke my heart cuz he felt so alone and there wasn't anything that I could do about it at the time. I was afraid that he would just give up on me. Trust me girl! I know it hurts so ******* much at the time but he will understand and once the communication picks up everything will be resolved between you. My man and I are closer than we've ever been but I will never forget how damn hurt I was in the beginning. Things will get easier with time hun! I promise. I'll be here for you every step of the way. Keep your chin up and everything will be just fine. Best wishes! :)

omg. im so sorry that, that happened. i remember the first phone call from my bf, i had my phone turned off and he couldnt get through. when his family called me to tell me that hes calling, i turned on my phone and only got to talk to him for 45 sec. i cried for the longest time and wrote him an apology letter. i was pissed at myself. and then i had my phone turned down low one day and i missed his call. ugh. i hated that. though dont worry. you know he loves you and you love him. everything will be ok. hang in there. you can message me anytime