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so my mom is not against me being with a man in the military or anything, but today, I was talking to her, and when I asked her what she thought of my airman, she said she feels it's going to end badly, then when quandered she said emotionally, I'll be affected more than any other breakup, and that him and I became too involved too fast emotionally, and that sort of stuff...I don't know what to think, but she has me on my toes because she is a very intuitive person...BUT...she has had the WORST relationship with my father, they are the worst couple I've seen---I really don't know  what to think...I love him with all my heart, we're seeing if we can get through my schooling and on my feet to get married... My mother is not a huggy person by any means, she doesn't understand physical like hugs and stuff, and my man and I are always holding hands, and hugging....I don't know, I'm just giving the facts the way they are and seeing if anyone has or in previous relationships has had someone they trust saying this...I don't want my love to be blind.....

imstuckinhere imstuckinhere 18-21 4 Responses Jun 29, 2009

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you no what i kinda relate to u in what ur mom tells u cuz my mom says that samethings to me she like my airman soldier but then again she doesnt want me to get hurt...but then again her and my father dnt have the best relationship either and same as u theyre the worse relationship ive seen to but let me tell u if this guy like mine is the total opposite of what ur parents are and by his side u see urself living a different life and relationship then the one ur parents have then girl dont let anything get in the way u know people are always going to talk and try to put u down but its up to us to stay strong n make it work if that wat u really want!<br />
cuz honestly thats wat i want thats why im staying strong n with him!

I know some women who have been hurt in the past by men and their first mode of defense is to shut down... they aren't touchy feely people and inside they feel alone even when they are with someone they love.(hence the maybe not so ideal marriage of your parents) its a wall your mother has put up to defend herself and i think she is telling you these things so if it does happen you wont turn out like her and put that wall there. Im also an intuitive person but i have a different outlook. Will it be hard foryou guys... well duh it happens! it is how you handle the situation when times get tough that will make you or break you. most military couples that end up not working is because one is inflexible with the other. being able to see your partners perspective is key in any relationship. so dont sweat it. be positive and stay strong and everything will work out for you both. if you can dont look up too much because eventually you will read too far into a situation. just roll with the punches and learn from your mistakes. you guys will be fine^_^

I really do not know anything about you two so I have no idea on what to do, but I think its a good idea you are planning to get through school and not rush into marriage, that will only end badly if you get married for the wrong reasons too fast. My boyfriend and I planned to wait 2 years until i finished college to marry but he is in BMT right now and we both decided we really dont want to wait that long so we are looking into a few ideas. Military life will never be easy so its a big desicion to marry into the military and its not one anyone should make unless they are for sure about it.<br />
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I guess Im ready for it I have researched military marriages and stuff for months now and thats my only advise it to look it up, join support groups for AF or military wives on facebook and myspace as well as websites including militaryspouse.com just read forums and youll start to think about things you never did before and you will decide can you handle it...just dont go into it blind<br />
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good luck im sure she is just being a mom and looking out for you!

Since you say your Mom had a bad relationship with your dad, then maybe she's only telling you this to prevent you from getting hurt.. If you dad hurt your mom in the past, she's only letting you know you can expect the same... and she wants you to prevent it from happening to you... I think she's just protecting you so you don't feel the hurt that she felt in the past.. But you need to learn on your own.. If you feel the love is right, go with it... Don't let anyone tell you otherwise