He Left Two Days Ago 9/22/09

My story seems to be somewhat different then other's I've read on here.  I'd put myself in the category of sort of girlfriend.   Scott and I broke up a week before he left but we still called eachother and he asked me to go down and spend his last night home with him, and drop him off at the airport.  We acted like we were still together and at dinner he told me that it would suck if I met another guy while he was gone but he knows he can't expect me to wait around for him as much as he'd like to tell me to.  He said he really didn't want to lose me and would miss me.  He also kept kissing me and hugging me and telling me how happy he was that I came to spend the night with him.  He was being very affectionate.  The reason for the break up is that he is scared things won't work out while he is gone for 6 months.  I'm more positive about it working out then he is but he seems to think it will be too hard. He said he will call and write when he can and wants things to work out in the end but it's basically a waiting game to see if we can make it through this. 

So here I am left with confusion. It seems as if he really cares about me but he just had a lot on his plate at the time of him leaving and he probably still does while there.  I've written him a letter, just waiting to hear from his parents with his address so that I can send it.  I'm concerned he will lose feelings for me but I just keep thinking about how he acted the night before he left and the things he said about not wanting to lose me.  At this point I'm just hoping that being away from me makes him miss me a lot more and realize that he really does want to be with me when he gets back.  I miss him alot and hope that he is okay and can just stay strong and make it through the 8 weeks.  Another concern I have is about his graduation....I'm hoping that he will want me there because I would love to be there. It will be an important day.  I've talked to his parents about flying down with them and that seems to be the plan but I'm hoping he doesn't decide he doesn't want me there because he lost his feelings for me...Basically I'm finding that this is just as hard as if we were still together and going through this because the same feelings are all still there....

babiekk112 babiekk112
22-25, F
9 Responses Sep 24, 2009

GIRL! I am in your situation right now. Four months you were dating? Me too. And that it might now be forever, but it was right now? Me too. It's really hard and confusing. I hope things are going okay for you. Hearing your story makes me feel better, at least I'm not alone.

Get his address that is.

Yeah we just started dating in May and he didn't want a girlfriend because he was leaving. But july rolled around and we became official and then he just broke it off again the week before he left because he said he didn't think it'd work. I'm hoping it does. It's really hard not talking to him through all of this. I've written him one letter so far but haven't sent it, waiting on his first phone call to his parents hopefully this weekend to get it. But I plan on sending letters and pictures so he doesn't forget about me and hoping he sends some back. I miss him alot :( It's been a hard few days since he left.

aww im sorry this is so confusing.. its hard enough saying goodbye and you have to worry bout your relationship too..... when my bf left for bmt we were not official dating yet.. like we were together and seeing no one else but we hadnt called each other bf or gf yet. we had only known each other for 3 months. The reason was is that he didnt want to put the prussure on me to wait for him. lil did he know there was no way i wasnt going to wait for him.! i was crazy about him. we started writing and to be honest we fell in love threw our letters! Dont underestimate what writing can do. we were never a mushy couple but when i wrote to him i felt so close to him and it was awesome... my advice is to write a lot and be really supportive. once my bf realized that i wanted to wait for him he felt so much more comfortable with our relationship:] i think your guy will feel the same :] it seems like he really cares about you and trust me every guy in boot camp secretly wishes they had a great girl at home waiting.. Be that girl.. its scary and hard to wait at first but i promise you it is one of the most rewarding things of my life.. i love being an air force gf.. if you want to be with him.. tell him straight up that you want to wait for him and that you will work to make it work... hearing that will make him so happy... good luck and let us know how the writing and phone calls go :]

I dont know if it's love. We've only been dating since May but I do know that we both care about eachother a lot. I am his first real girlfriend and the first girl he brought home to meet his parents. He said he would most likely want me at graduation but it's a lot of money he thinks. I think it'll be worth the money as I had said before. My biggest fear is him losing his feelings for me and wanting to be single when he gets out.

most go through alot of maturing (even if they act like goofs most of the time) basic tends to make them think about what they want to accomplish in life. even if it means only serving 4 years and then letting it go at that. jacob has matured alot since basic even if he doesnt always seem like he has. if he does something wrong instead of making excuses he just admits it appologizes and lets the subject go. (stuff like that is what you will notice most as a change) you will also mature too. its just part of the process. as a couple or even just friends you will learn to let little stuff go and learn to just enjoy eachothers company. whatever happens just make sure you write to him constantly and he will see that you can still be strong and miss him at the same time. keep your letters positive and just be there for him. im sure your name will be at the top of his list for visitation haha especially if you already talk to him about seeing him at his graduation. his eyes are going to light up when he sees you^_^

Thanks that makes me at least a little hopeful. I will be looking forward to his first letter but I know not to expect it for some time from what I read. I hope we end up getting back together. That's one thing he said from the moment things ended, that it didnt mean that it was forever, it just had to be for right now. As for graduation , Im keeping my fingers crossed that he adds me to his visitation list. He says its expensive but I told him I really wanted to go and I can afford it working full time. We'll see. I'm hoping everything works for the better.....Have you noticed any changes in your boyfriend? Im hoping he also changes for the better and matures a little bit. He is 24 but I feel like he needs some direction and that he gets his priorities straight which he also says he is hoping he takes away from this...

last thing lol^_^ if you have any questions need to vent or even just want to talk you can message me anytime

aww hun=( ok well still plan on going. you love your man and he obviously loves you. im sure he will be writing you as much as he can because he doesnt want to lose you either. if this is a test show him that you can still see him. not as much as you would like (that would take a miracle and all of us always wish for that miracle lol) but at least you're making the effort. there are plenty of couples out there who break up before their man leaves to basic but end up getting back together as soon as he sends the first letter home. he is going to want your support and loyalty while he is away because you are like his "pick-me-up" when he is down and sick of TI's on his butt at all times. pretty much you keep him sane and remind him that trainee really isnt his first name and he does have an amazing woman to come home to. i wouldnt say surprise him by going to his grad but definitely drop hints if he doesnt already know you're going. and you dont have to stop visiting him at graduation. tech school visits in phase 3 are also very nice=) just learning to cope with "its the military they can change their mind about lockdown at a moments notice and you'd have to cancel your plans". yeah i got a real lovely taste of that this last couple of weeks. but it turned out to work in our favor and now i get to see my baby tomorrow=))) another good thing about going to graduation is hearing other's stories and knowing you get to share that moment with your airman as well. and i know right now your afraid he might lose feelings for you while he is away but the truth is your probably always on his mind, always the person he wants to write to and hear from the most, and even his best friend. also write to him every day. (yes this is advice i would give to actual girlfriend but seeing as you guys only broke up because he was trying to protect you from military uncertainty... i consider the love still there and i look at it as you still are pretty much dating) me and my boyfriend only had been dating for a month before he left and we decided it would be pointless to break up because no one out there is like me or him and could never treat us as well as the other and we would just end up back together anyway. love works in strange ways.