Sad. :(

So, I'm frustrated. Jeremy's best friend Joe is in the AF too. I don't like him much, but he's his bff so I tolerate him. Actually, we've never met but, here's why I dislike him. The night before Jeremy left I was really upset because he wasn't talking to me much because he couldn't say goodbye to me. We exchanged a few messages at night and Joe took his phone, and texted, "Shut up *****, I leave tomorrow and I'm trying to get laid" to me. Jeremy apologized a lot, said Joe was way out of line and should apologize to me, but it set me off, and thats why our last time speaking before he left was me yelling at him. Not mean, like a sad yelling, like you dont know how much I care about you, why are you doing this? I know you don't want it - type stuff.

 



Apparently, good ol' Joe went down to his graduation this weekend, and I'm thinking it could be why I didn't get a call from him. Every day, there's a brieif moment I consider that I just can't do this anymore, and that we're probably better off staying apart. The moment is breif but there's doubt. Hearing that Joe went down triggered my doubt today. Also when his mom told me this morning that she talked to Jeremy last night. Yes, his mom and I spoke for a while on Monday and it seemed encouraging, but it's just so hard still waiting.

 

I don't know. Maybe Jeremy was right all along. Maybe he knew better than me. Maybe I am experiencing too much here and am realizing things. I'm really scared. And the more time I have to wait to talk to him, the more scared I get. I'm doing things, keeping busy and having fun, and I worry that it's getting easier not speaking to him anymore. Like I'm getting used to him not being there. I love him, I really do, and I've always said it was worth it.. but.. what if it's not?

 

I just need answers. And it's driving me crazy, as busy as I am, not having them.

 

Thanks for reading this huge depressing post. lol

emilyroze emilyroze
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 17, 2010

Ugh, I dont not like Joe! I really got irritated hearing about him. But you have to keep reassuring yourself...like you do the rest of us...this is worth it. I think about that all the time, like what if I put all this time in...and dont get anything in return. But with love there are ALOT, as a matter fact TOO many risk..but you have to do what you have to do! Once you talk to him, you will feel soo much better. As far as that Joe character....EFF HIM! ewww. I just hope Jeremy doesnt let him influence him in any kind of way, but I dont think he is. You will talk to him soon. Just keep busy hunni, things will get better soon....I promise (hugss)

I understand what you mean about it being easier to deal with him being gone. But honestly, it's not because you don't need him or can deal with him not being in your life. It's because you really do love him. & If you love someone and are dedicated to them, like you are to jeremy, it seems like it's easy some moments. Don't give up hope now, you've come so far! If tucker's rommate didn't let him use his phone/laptop I would still be in suspense. Hang in there :)

Yeah, it was over the phone. She did say that she can't wait for him to have internet too. And that he was tired. I'm wondering maybe it was over payphone, but I'm going to ask her if he has a new phone now. She did say on Monday that she was sure Jeremy would fill me in asap on how the weekend went. <br />
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And yeah, I like, progressively flipped a sh*t on him that night, and I felt terrible for it, but I was hysterically crying about him leaving to begin with, and then that comment just pushed me over the edge. I hope he's jealous. He's such a jerkoff too. You know the Alex girl that bother's me? Well, right before Joe's girlfriend got back from basic, he cheated on her with Alex, IN JEREMY'S BED. After his gf got back, he asked her to marry him. Sorry, such unnecessary info. But needless to say, Jeremy has always been pissed about that incident. lol And more proof he's a jerk. Joe I mean.<br />
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And you're right. (Wow, I'm rambling) It will all melt away when/if I get to talk to him. After I vented here, I remembered Jeremy said that we could get through this together. And its true. We can. It just sucks sooooooooo much waiting. Like, I thought basic would end the waiting. But it just continues. lol<br />
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Haha Thanks again Devon. And thanks everyone else. :)

The fact that this Joe kid said that makes me really angry and if I could I would go apes**t on his a**. Honestly? He sounds jealous. GAH what a jerk. Grrrrr<br />
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I think this is all from being so anxious to talk to him. I doubted Nick and I's relationship the entire time he was in basic. But once I was able to talk to him on a daily basis again, I felt incredibly silly for ever doubting anything. How did his mom talk to him? Was it over the phone? If so, you could ask her if she has a phone number that he can be reached at. Or, if you really trust his mom, you could ask her to, next time she talks to him, tell him to get a hold of you because you're worried.

Alie I totally know that feeling. What i first broke up with Chris I was like that. And just like you every moment i doubt wanting him was REALLY brief. but after an while i was getting use to being without him. i got scared too i wondered if i was going to move on without him when i didn't want to. but what will bring everything back to prospective is hearing his voice or seeing him again.<br />
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after about 5 months of crying my friend convinced me to continue on with life. so for a month i did ok but soon afterwards i got to see Chris for the first time in half a year. every loving feeling i had for him came rushing back the moment i saw his face again. i think the same goes for you. you love him still because if u didn't the doubt would have been gone already. <br />
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i KNOW how much it sucks to wait. but talk with him about this a see where that conversation takes the relationship. i say if you truly love him wait as long as you can. <br />
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Good Luck hun.

Thanks :) I hate that I need so much reassurance. But I really appreciate it. It helps a lot. And yep! London.

I think everyone has doubts at some point. When you go a period of time without hearing from the person you love, it's inevitable to start to wonder what you've been wondering. But when you finally do hear from him that'll all go away! You situation is especially rough since you're abroad (London right?) so it makes it even harder for him to get in touch with you. But I'm sure he's still thinking about you all the time! It sucks that that douchebag Joe got to go to his graduation and not you. And you're right, him being there probably had something to do with Jeremy not getting in touch with you over the weekend. But that doesn't mean Jeremy doesn't care about you, it just means Joe is a d***! Keep your head up, things are gonna get better! All the love and support you've given him through BMT won't go unnoticed!