Boyfriend Leaves Soon For Basic Training, I Need Advice.

okay, so i have a boyfriend, named Quinten. we've been dating for almost 10 months and we have both fallen head over heals for eachother. i am a junior in highschool and he leaves for basic april 6th. we plan on staying together and he tells me almost everyday that he wants to marry me once im out of highschool. i am so scared something will change while hes gone, and we'll lose everything we've ever had. im not quiet sure how to handle my situation because no one i know has gone through what im about to go through. i dont know what to expect and all i want is to be with him at the end of it all. i try to stay positive about the situation but whenn i have no one else to talk to about it its kinda hard to hide my negativity. i need advice from girls that has kinda went through the same experience. itd help a lot!

esalisbury esalisbury
18-21, F
15 Responses Feb 21, 2010

I know exactly what your going through : ( am going through it right now my boyfriends been gone since January 6th for basic training and he's in the army... it's so hard no one around you knows what your going through and you have no one to talk too about it : ( but all these girls on here & me are here for one another.. you will make it girl < 3 we all will , some days you may cry all day just from missing him so much but then some days you'll feel strong & positive just of thinking your one day closer to have him back with you : ) write him letters tell him everything , keep a journal to write down things you wanna tell him , if you get sad and upset keep holding on no matter how hard it gets : ) he's gonna need you more then you need him once he comes back home < 3 your a strong women no matter what . - we can do this ! girls

YOU WILL BE OKAY!!!! My boyfriend and me have already gone thru the basic trainig stuff and AIT and now he has been in it for a year and Half if u need someone to talk to u can talk to me i am only 17 but i no what ur going thru and we are all here for u. u do need to be strong but dont listen to those who make fun of u at school or work that tell u that ur a drama queen when u have a moment of sadness what my bfs mom says all the time to me and him is"what doesnt kill u,only makes u stronger.i am also pretty sure if god wants yall to be together yall will and probably going to work out me and my bf have been together a year and 9 months since march25 will be 2 years yea i wish u the best of luk and him too.

Were in the same boat, exactly. Everything you said I can relate to. My boyfriend leaves in two days, &its really getting hard. If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me! We all know what you're going though and can help. (:

I'm facing a similar situation -- I have less than a month and a half until my boyfriend leaves for basics, for the Army. I met him in a military school we both attended while he was a senior and I was a freshman. We love each other honestly, and we have high hopes for staying together while he gets financially stable, and he's promised to take my hand the second he's ready to support me. Our families like each other, but the hardest thing for me is coming to grips with the fact that while he's gone, it will almost be like he's on the other side of the world. He'll be in Fort B, GA., and I really...well, it's going to hurt like hell for a while.

i know we can make it. the most difficult thing is well okay i'll start from the begining. alright so quinten and i started dating his senior year and my sophomore year. his mom was planning on moving right after graduation to georgia, i live in ohio. and he was supposed to go with her but he convinced her to let him stay, basically homeless. he'd been staying with his friends and all but he didnt really have any family here. he stayed for me. he signed up for the airforce in the summer and i knew he was planning to do it before we started dating, so i expected this to happen at one point. anyways his mom lives in georgia, his real dad lives in south carolina and his brother lives in flordia. well for christmas he left at the begining of december to georgia to spend christmas with his family. he was gone till the 30th. he came back then found out he was leaving for basic in april. so he left the 3rd of febuary again to spend time with his family. and hes still gone as of now. so like it stinks i cant spend alll of my time with him before he leaves, and its beyond stressful because he wont be back till march 14th. which only gives us like 3 weeks together before he leaves. so its just so stressful and i only really have like two girlfriends, because girls around here are ridiculous, you all probablyy know what im sayin lol! anyways i just dont really have anyone to talk about this to. so it means so much to find girls that have been thur the same stuff! thanks so much!

Wow, nomomisery really makes me want to hurt whoever he/she is.<br />
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I am married and only 18 years old. Basically married 8 months out of high school. My airman and I had been dating for about a year and a half when he left for basic, now we've been together 2 years, are married, and just waiting for him to come home to have our REAL wedding. Nothing will change. If anything, your relationship will get so much stronger. I will say, it is hard and it is stressful, but if you truly love each other you will make it! :)

I understand about being young. I'm a junior in high school too. my parents (mom) really want me to date other people because of my age. She says I don't know what I want and stuff like that but I know that I love Rocky and I want to be with him forever! He also talked to me about marriage after high school. But like everyone else said stay strong. Yea he might change a little but it's all for the better. Your relationship will only grow over the time he's gone. I know mine has! We are all here for each other so you'll always have someone to talk to. Anyways...Welcome to the group!!! =D

thank you everyone, i know im young, and everyone tells me that it'll never work. but we both believe differently and we've been away from eachother before and still been great, but never away from each other with out communication. im really hoping he'll come back more mature more then anything. i think it'll help our relationship out a lot. the only bad thing is, is i still have another year of high school and i'll have to wait to move with him. but thanks everyone!

hang in there, its hard. but im sure what you guys have is magical just like everyone else's . help each other get through this and if you get through this, marriage isnt a question. you guys will do great! :)

Hey. I'm going through the exact same thing I but my boyfriend will be gone for 5 to 6 months due to tech school. I'm so worried and scared. After training, I'm worried that I will never see him. Can someone text me please 229 460 5822

My boyfriends been gone 6 weeks, and now were theres only two left! Woo hoo! Which leads me to my point, it DRAGS on for what seems like forever, but before you know it, you're counting down the days till you can talk every day! Take a thousand+ pictures before he goes, be as positive as you possibly can-even though you're going to feel really crappy some days (were here for you!), remind him of how proud you are of him, and DON'T LISTEN to people who DON'T support you! We've all got your back, and we understand. Its hard for a lot of people to relate to what you're going through, but don't feel defeated or alone. Things probably will change between the two of you-but I guarantee it will most likely be in a really good way! Having to be apart has made me and Greg alot stronger and made him realize a lot of things I don't think he would have prior to leaving for bmt. If your guy already feels like he wants to spend his life with you, I bet you a million bucks by the time he gets out, hes going to feel the same way. Remember to support him, you're what he needs, and were here to support one another.

And yes! LOTS of letters!

Wow. Nomomisery sure has a lot of misery in his old, non AIR FORCE NOT ARMY life. We occasionally get jerks commenting in this group that have no idea what they're talking about. Just ignore them :)<br />
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We have ALL gone through what you're about to go through! So we all know how you're feeling right now! Bmt is going to make your relationship with each other a million times stronger. Believe me. Being in basic gives the boys a lot of time to not only think about WHAT they want out of life, but WHO they want in it. My boyfriend has been out of basic and in tech school for two months now and I have seen absolutely nothing but positive changes :) You still have a while before he leaves so I wont get into too much crazy detail. But spend as much time with each other as possible! Take lots of pictures and make cutesy little videos lol Sounds silly, but you'll appreciate them so much while he's gone. You're definitely in the right place! The girls on here are amazingggg. Let me know if you have any other questions! :)

^^^ That's nice encouragement....Do NOT listen to this person whoever they are. The girls on here on so strong and so loyal to their airman. And to each other. We are all experienceing the same thing. My husband has been in boot camp 8 weeks now. We are leaving to see him graduate this week. Not every couple can say they've been separated like a military couple. You both have to be strong in your own ways. And, it may not seem like it now, but you guys will realize how much you love each other through this kind of separation. Just remember...letters letters letters!!!

You'll be okay girl! It'll be a rough 81/2 weeks, but if you have a strong relationship, and it sounds like you do, you'll make it. Just hang in there and it'll be over before you know it. Write him everyday, to me it felt like I was still talking to him, even though I had to wait days for a response. Every letter and every phone call will be like gold. Try and keep yourself busy as much as possible to keep your mind off of things. And he probably will change a bit after basic. From my experience, it was a change for the better. My boyfriend didn't lose his personality, he was still all goofy and whatnot, but he just seems to have more respect for himself and for others. He seems more proper, and he definitely had better posture. lol. They were all good changes that I saw. We're all here for you, and we do know what you're going through, so don't be afraid to tell us what's on your mind because we may be the only people you know that understand and can give you advice :)

Hang with it. Be each other's support system. If you can't get through this, how do you expect to get through a marriage. If it is meant to happen, it will. (married 21 years). Need someone to talk to send me a message.